He's as close as we've got
Excuse me, did I just hear you say that David Mulligan is as close as we've got to Beckham?

Posh Spice is a slapper
Her surname isn't Culligan*
And when she's shagging Beckham
She's thinking of Dave Mulligan!
*Yes,
Culligan is the only word that rhymes with Mulligan. It's a rare surname. Though I suppose if used a thuck steratypicul Nu Zulland ucksunt, you could mention Pelicans somehow