If you are pathetic, clap you hands
If you are pathetic, clap you hands
Oh, If you are pathetic, if you are pathetic
If you are pathetic, clap you hands
If you're unsophisticated, clap you hands....................
If you don't know football, clap your hands....................
If you like stroking pussies, clap you hands....................
If you've lost respect for Gareth, clap your hands......................
How about
If you're pathetic and you know it clap your hands
If you're pathetic and you know it clap your hands
If you're pathetic and you know it and you really want to show it
If you're pathetic and you know it clap your hands
And then straight into
Clap clap clapclapclap clap clap clap clap Phoenix!