Islamic State to Host 2026 World Cup
"The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria has been selected to host the 2026 World Cup, FIFA have revealed.
The bid was decided at a star-studded ceremony in Zurich, after what observers termed a “ruthlessly well-organised, take-no-prisoners style campaign”. FIFA President Sepp Blatter has defended the selection, noting that ISIS government policy, while ‘not perfect’, meets FIFA’s required ethical standards.
“At FIFA we believe that football is a truly global game,” he said. “That’s why we’ve chosen ISIS, an up-and-coming nation in the Middle East, to host the game....”
Brilliant!
I love some of the comments from readers beneath the piece too, such as:
"I would not want to be a country in the group of death at this tournament."
"I can just imagine their idea of a penalty shoot out."
"ISIS team will always want it to go to sudden death ..... !"
"InFIFAdels"
"Fifa insiders are said to have long believed that fundamentalist Jihadis constituted an underdeveloped commercial opportunity. They feel this demographic segment is attractive because it has large amounts of disposable income from a variety of sources (kidnapping, theft, rich gulf Emirs), but few available forms of entertainment, none of which are considered serious competitors to association football (suicide bombing, beheadings, floggings and attending mosque)."
"I understand the world cup legacy was a big factor with innovative dual use stadia providing a space the community can come together to bury adulterers and apostates up to their neck and stone them to death."
"Free kick. In the bollocks. Throw in, another hand grenade.
Header. Literally."
I've enjoyed the satire in Underground Magazine targeting people jumping on the "Charlie Hebdo" bandwagon:
http://undergroundmgzn.com/2015/01/09/comment-dont...
Comment: If You Don't Read My Inane Thoughts about 'Charlie Hebdo' Then the Terrorists Have Won
"I’m sure we can all agree that the murder of 12 people at the offices of Charlie Hebdo was a tragedy.
This just goes to show that journalism is the bravest profession. The response to this heinous crime now falls to the bravest members of that profession: comment-piece writers like myself.
In all honesty, if you don’t read what I – a white British middle-class non-Muslim person who doesn’t speak French and hadn’t even heard of Charlie Hebdo before Wednesday – have to think about the complex issues involved, then the terrorists have won.
That’s right. If you value freedom of speech it’s your solemn duty to read this confused mess of poorly thought-out responses that I typed out quickly for money. Otherwise I will have been silenced by terrorism and those cartoonists will have died for nothing...
....There are probably wider lessons to be learnt about this tragedy, although I have to admit I’ve got absolutely no idea what they are. If you refuse to read my opinions merely on the basis that I know nothing and I have nothing to add to the debate, then my free speech will have been silenced and the terrorists will have won...."
http://undergroundmgzn.com/2015/01/15/underground-...
Underground Magazine Executes 12 Cartoonists in Desperate Bid for Exposure