Fudge that, it's not cold water. Just buy a bottle of epic hop zombie and be done with it.
Based on your comment I rethought my post. You're right, skip all the children's drinks and jump straight to the double IPA's (or skip that and straight to the good stuff... Rex Attitude).
Edit - If they could bottle a beer into perfume, then epic hop zombie would be a good choice, that beer smells fantastic.