In all seriousness Levin isn't that bad a place.
Climate is quite extraordinary. Not too many winters days under 10 degrees celsius here this year. Plenty of outdoor activities (and photographic opportunities a plenty!!!). Yes being 1.5 hrs drive from Wellington or 30 mins drive from Palmy is a bit of a pain but you get used to it and if you really need to you can drive like Lundy.
There's great bottle stores, restaurants, golf courses, beaches (with sand!), cycling paths, fishing (both freshwater and saltwater) etc all on our doorstep, under 2hrs drive to Lake Taupo for the watersports enthusiasts (behave yourselves!) or 3hrs to Mt Tongariro National Park for the snow bunnies!
Plenty of reasons to move to Levin!!!
"We're actually pretty shit, but at least we're not Feilding."