thatth pertherted
The free-for-all Pundemonium Thread
thatth pertherted
In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
If you can't score in an open mouth, you probably shouldn't play football (don't hit me with the banstick I'm starting to like it :-)
l
The sport of chick is a dangerous one and not something to yolk about...
I could find it much more weaselly then. I know this isn't stoatally related but...
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper
cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start
anything.'
3. Two peanuts
walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic
man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks
into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: 'A beer please, and
one for the road.'
6. Two
cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: 'Does this taste funny to
you?'
7. 'Doc, I
can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' 'That sounds like Tom Jones
Syndrome.' 'Is it common?' Well, 'It's Not Unusual.'
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, 'I was artificially inseminated this morning.' 'I don't believe you,' says Dolly. 'It's true; no bull!' exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible
man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at
either.
10. Deja Moo:
The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to
buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find
any.
12. A man woke
up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't
feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't - I've cut off your
arms!'
13. I went to a
seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you
call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish
swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says,
'Dam!'
16. Two Eskimos
sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly
it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it
too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. 'But why,' they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'
18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt , and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him 'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, 'They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. ( Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ..... A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.
Wish it was raining Datsun cogs as my horse likes soft running if its going to socket to them!
Rodney Hide, Rodney Hide, he's no mate of Glen,
Rodney Hide, Rodney Hide with his band of 'men'
Takes from the poor and gives to the rich
What a bitch, what a bitch...
It seems no matter how hard(n)ews try, this thread will never go away, though after treading over a jag-ged path it has ended up a little (dairy)flat recently. This leeds_chris to wonder whether we can salmon(07) up the will to bringback (a) wynner(s) of a thread?
Harry, hotspurs... let's make this work, quickly!
those are some painful puns. And does making a pun out of my own user name make me egotistical?
Leeds_Chris2009-01-07 22:35:56