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History for C-Diddy

Things that piss you off... (Part 1)

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Posted May 11, 2011 07:08 · last edited March 18, 2021 08:08

Junior82 wrote:
Description in the Hitchhiker's Guide

Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning " four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine--in a desperate attempt to save life kind itself--leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator,Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison.

An Example Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee That mordiously hath bitled out Its earted jurtles Into a rancid festering [drowned out by moaning and screaming] Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts And living glupules frart and slipulate Like jowling meated liverslime Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon See if I don't.

 

 
That reminds me of a little Kenneth Williams classic:
 
 
 

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Unknown editor edited March 18, 2021 08:08
Junior82 wrote:
Description in the Hitchhiker's Guide

Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning " four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine--in a desperate attempt to save life kind itself--leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator,Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison.

An ExampleEdit%20An%20Example%20section Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee That mordiously hath bitled out Its earted jurtles Into a rancid festering [drowned out by moaning and screaming] Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts And living glupules frart and slipulate Like jowling meated liverslime Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon See if I don't.
 
That reminds me of a little Kenneth Williams classic: