It has been one hundred and sixty something pod filled weeks of audio treacle and you deserve to be sent off in style. In my official capacity as Ambassador of the People and for the ease of consumption, I have collated the feedback from the vox populi into this one easy to read piece of hate mail to send you on your way.
Starting with myself - There are a lot of parallels between both the pod and myself to be honest. It started out gloriously and over time became harder and harder to produce the quality everyone wanted. Now you selfish buggers are swanning off overseas (and settling into family life) leaving this goose well and truly cooked but unlike you slack lot this chook won’t be giving up! I guess I’ll have to step up my game again in the coming season.
But as you have decided to quit in the 10th season of our glorious A-League and “Teams of the Decade” are all the rage at the moment I have taken the liberty of selecting a team for each of you - no correspondence will be entered into and my judging of your thoughts are final. Do what you want with these but it’s probably best if Dale reads his own one out.
| News | Smith | Dale | Boxy |
| Objectionable SharkCods XI | YF Rumour Mill XI | Cunning Linguist XI | Powder Keg XI |
| Jacob Burns (c) | Chris Killen | Vedran Janjetovic | Enver Alivodic |
| Joel Griffins | Rory Fallon | Dejan Pandurevic | Ranko Despotovic |
| Mitch Nichols | Tommy Smith | Ramazan Tavsancioglu | Milos Dimitrijevic |
| Bersart Berisha | Simon Elliott | Ndumba Makeche | Branko Jelic (c) |
| Kevin Muscat | David Beckham | Jorge Drovandi (c) | Milan Jovanic |
| Michael Twaite | Tim Cahill | In-Seob Shin | Andrija Kaluderovic |
| Matt Simon | Chris James | Kojiro Kaimoto | Nebojsa Marinkovic |
| Josh Goodwin | Jeremy Christie | Nathan Konstandopoulos | Nikola Petkovic |
| Harry Kewell | Michael Eagar | George Timotheou | Vukasin Ristic |
| Robbie Cruise | Robert Earnshaw | Jonathan Aspropotamitis | Dejan Zivkovic |
| Ruben Zadkovich | Aaron Clapham (c) | Themba Muata-Marlow | Denis Kramar |
And so onto the thoughts of the masses:
Danny Hay wasn't able to get his article in on time because he is somewhere in America on a school trip but confirmed via phone that his views were totally aligned with those of Anthony Hudson.
Anthony Hudson just described the pod as “more painful than 20 minutes alone with Gourdie”.
I asked Piney what he thought about his competition deciding to shut up shop but he said he wasn't aware there was ever any competition. I forgot the rest of what he said after getting lost in his dulcet tones…
The Barista that makes your weekly hot chocolates called you a bunch of bellyaching sharkbags that need to stop demanding sundaes for breakfast. This isn't Four Kings!
Sam Malcomson said that he once had a wireless back in ’82 and was therefore more than qualified to “cast pods” in your absence. He also suggested changing from the normal 4 man pod to only having 3 on the panel in a diamond formation.
The Assistant to the Senior Intern painted a large banner for the event but forgot the ropes and to be honest I don’t know how he thought I was going to email it anyway.His missus didn't have anything to say but just in case she gets tired of that elephant trunk and wants some feathers to ruffle she can hit me up on Twitter.
Brother Ernie also took time out from his daily Mojo run to pull the Hyundai over and make a call on the trusty Huawei. He wasn't interested in talking about the Yellow Fever or the Pod because they were never a shirt sponsor but he did offer me a Carlsberg which I thought was probably the best beer in the world.
Iluvnix17 provided some feedback in the form of a lengthy love letter. However after reading it I think it was intended for Boxall and not Boxy. Which does explain the polaroids.
Ballane refused to comment until he received his commemorative microphone he was promised for being a “Day 1” listener last time he emailed in.
Tegal’s feedback was going to be presented in person but I think he might still be waiting for his bus to show up.
Hatamoto said they could finally drop four names from their “to-watch” list but expected keeping an eye on that “violent hobbit fan” would continue to take up most of their time.
Yellow Fever bandwagon jumper Mike Greene just said “you pod”.
Andy Harper said you’d never really brought anything to the internet anyway.
Mike Cockerill said you’d been taking money away from good australian podcasts for far too long and he was glad to see you licence getting revoked.
Rusty stayed up all night putting the finishing touches on a press release and has sent it to the FFA so it can be released by a third party as per the standard process.
And finally, Tonya of forum fame said she’d never listen to another pod ever again. But she probably will.
It seems only fitting that I wrap this up by recapping some of the highs and lows of your podcasting careers, so without further ado;
Highlights - in this order:
This letter and all my other contributions (obviously!)
Smiths outtakes
All other outtakes
1982 bashing
Lowlights
Dales pronunciation
Pods recorded from the inside of a submarine
When you kazoo over all for the best bits of rants from News
Lack of focus on coal face football in Auckland
I best end on the most fitting words possible:
“You didn't know what you were doing but we were still here when you were shark.”
Love from Ernie.
Cheerio, cheerio, cheerio etc.
