I 've only been to a couple of matches in the UK, but I remember in the programmes that a number of players had 'kit(?) sponsors'. Something like 'Cesc Fabregas sponsored by John & Jane Smith'.* I think you can do something similar at Wellington Zoo.
How about Phoenix fans confirm they really are Australian, and say "Bugger the kakapo" and adopt a Nix player instead? A little less of a burden for Terry to carry.
* Obviously not a real example in today's EPL climate.
I can see the NBR headlines now "Serepisos sells Phoenix players into slavery, can he go much lower"