AUCKLAND CITY FC - TEAM SPONSORSHIP FUND

[BILLY HARRIS - Sunday Star Times]

Who's the most important person in any football club? The star striker? After all, goals win games, and that's why the Ronaldos, Henrys and van Nistelrooys are usually the highest-paid players in the team.

The key defender? Good teams start with a strong defence and that's why the experienced organiser at the back is usually the first name on the team sheet.

The president? If the organisation's not right, the team on the park will quickly crumble.

All good guesses, but no, the most important person in these cash-strapped times is the grant application writer. Yes, the pool of money available to sports bodies is rapidly drying up, but if you know how to access it you need never go thirsty.

Auckland City are a club who possess the Alan Shearer of the application writing business. He never misses. According to the Trillian Trust figures published in the paper two weeks ago, every one of Auckland City's eight applications between August 2007, and July 2008, was successful, to the tune of $451,445. Central United, who are the same animal as Auckland City with their winter coat on, were nine for nine with their applications for a haul of $239,843. Put another way, it is well over 10% of the total money dished out by the trust.

Meanwhile, clubs representing far, far more members got nothing and will presumably be firing their application writers. Eastern Suburbs made six applications only to be told: "Sorry, we have insufficient funds to help you."

Birkenhead, East Coast Bays, Fencibles, Bay Olympic, twice, United Soccer 1, and Western Suburbs all applied, for zero return. North Shore and Soccer Nelson show some promise - they were 50/50, with Shore receiving $5800 and Nelson $1798. And congrats to Three Kings, whose one request for $1800 was successful. But Auckland-Manukau, who have a team in the National Youth League, are so hard up they have to charge the boys $300 to be in the training squad. At least they still have a team - other teams in the National Youth League are pulling out due to insufficient funds.

The other Auckland team in the NZFC, Waitakere United, will no doubt be putting their writer up for the Application Writer of the Year Award as well. He successfully coined $679,849 from Cuesports between April 2007, and March 2008, not to mention $137,828 for Waitakere's alter-ego Waitakere City.

There are questions being asked by clubs who get by on the smell of an oily rag. Such as what do Auckland and Waitakere do with all that dosh? Do they have to give any of it back when one or other routinely wins $1 million for qualifying for the world club champs? Is it any wonder that other clubs in the NZFC can't compete and the league is on the brink of collapse?

While the sums scored by Auckland and Waitakere are public record, the masterful applications that secured them are not, so unsuccessful writers can only wonder what sort of phrases were used in the successful requests.

"Dear Trillian Trust, you won't believe this, but last season we lost 50,000 balls" or "my wife and I look forward to having you and Shirley at the bach over Christmas" or "we know where you live" or "recently some hoons did wheelies all over the pitch and we need to fly our whole club around the world to study grass growing procedures at major clubs".

According to Trillian Trust: "The funds distributed were generated from the operation of gaming machines at our member venues located from the Far North to Christchurch. The bulk of the funds were returned to the community from where the funds were raised".

The people of Sandringham, the suburb where Auckland City's ground is located, sure must like those pokie machines.