To the same extent that Mourinho has a responsibility to use tactics that suit players and players that suit tactics, the players have a responsibility to perform under those tactics. Everyone has to buy in and for the first two seasons, enough players bought in enough of the time to win two trophies and get a second in the league.
Again, I think the board is making too many footballing decisions and undermining the person they employ as the football manager. If you don't agree with the way that the manager is doing things, then part ways. The board has to respect the way in which the manager wants to run the football club to the same extent the manager has to respect the way in which the board wants to run the football club.
And it is great when the board and the manager are on the same path. Its happening at Spurs with Pochettino, maybe at Liverpool and thus far with Ole at United. But not at Chelsea with Mourinho or Sarri as the board do what they want and the manager has to deal with it. I would argue that Guardiola has more power than the City board and that club is being run how Pep wants. Sancho and Diaz would never have been able to leave at other clubs.
To your point about Mourinho's me-first attitude, its funny that actually the decisions to make a point and the roasting players publically dried up in the third season. Shaw and Martial, the players who he attacked the most, actually came good and are better for it. But we won't speak about this.