Heather Mills

Heather Mills

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It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife
are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes
about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic.

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'She's running around in circles', according to a close friend,
'she needs all the support she can get. It's not like its easy to walk
out on a relationship like this'

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After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever
consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if
we called her Heather.

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News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from
his wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be
distraught over the split. 'He has been my crutch for so long' she said
in an earlier briefing, 'I have no idea why this has happened, I'm really
stumped'

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Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity
may have been the cause. 'She's terrible' a source stated, 'always
trying to get her leg over'.

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Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the
present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new
prosthetic leg for Christmas but it was just a stocking-filler.

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A gold miner in Africa had an accident and lost a leg. He said to
his mate 'I'm f---ed, who will want a one legged gold digger?' His mate
replied, 'Try Paul McCartney'

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Finally new song lyrics by Sir Paul McCartney: I lay upon a grassy
bank, my hands were all a quiver, I slowly removed her suspender
belt and her leg fell in the river.

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These jokes are funny but lets spare a thought for Paul please. Now
Heather has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who
can fill her shoe.

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I saw Heather at the bus stop the other day, I said 'how are you
getting on ?'

apparently Paul McCartney bought Heather Mills a plane for her last birthday.  When he told her what he had for her, she asked how she was going to shave her other leg.