I'm somewhat bored at the moment so thought it a good idea to start a thread of hilarious movie moments. I'm aware that 90% will come from Anchorman, and many will only be funny to those who've actually seen the movies, but oh well.
ANCHORMAN
"The Green Lantern was denied a bank loan."
ANCHORMAN
"The Green Lantern was denied a bank loan."
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Ron Burgundy:
Let's go to Brian Fantana who's live on the scene with a Channel 4 News exclusive. Brian?
Brian Fantana: Panda Watch. The mood is tense; I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I uh... Ching... King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can't do that he's a live bear, he will literally rip your face off.
[to the Panda]
Brian Fantana: Hey, you're making me look stupid. Get out of here, Panda Jerk.
Ron Burgundy: Great story. Compelling, and rich.
Brian Fantana: Panda Watch. The mood is tense; I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I uh... Ching... King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can't do that he's a live bear, he will literally rip your face off.
[to the Panda]
Brian Fantana: Hey, you're making me look stupid. Get out of here, Panda Jerk.
Ron Burgundy: Great story. Compelling, and rich.
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when I was in Edinburgh for the Fringe Festival, I went to a show where you had to write a line from a movie/song/book on a bit of paper at the start. I went with the following (and I am aware that it is not exactly correct, but my memory is not so good):
It is 400 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it is night time and we are wearing sunglasses.
All I do is make the stuff I would've liked
Reference things I wanna watch, reference girls I wanna bite
Now I'm firefly like a burning kite
And yousa fake fuck like a fleshlight
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We want the finest wines available to humanity. We want them here and we want them now!
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Jake Heke: Cook the man some f**king eggs!
Fuck this stupid game
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"Murdoch..... Murdoch, I'm coming to get you!!
Who are you? Your worst nightmare!
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!
The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!
The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!
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Duke:
What you lookin' at old man?
Walt Kowalski: Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have f**ked with? That's me.
Grand Torino 2008.
Walt Kowalski: Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have f**ked with? That's me.
Grand Torino 2008.
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Love that Gran Torino quote. All Class.
Mr Doback: How would you describe it (the cut)?
Brennan Huff: Woah!!!
Step Brothers
Mr Doback: How would you describe it (the cut)?
Brennan Huff: Woah!!!
Step Brothers
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HAL: "Daisy Daisy give me your answer do, I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage, but you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle made for two".
Which gets slower and sloooower....
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Childs:
I just cannot believe any of this voodoo bullsh*t.
Palmer: Childs, it happens all the time, man. They're falling out of the sky like flies. Government knows all about it, right, Mac?
Childs: You believe any of this voodoo bullsh*t, Blair?
Palmer: Childs, Childs... Chariots of the Gods, man. They practically own South America. I mean, they taught the Incas everything they know.
The Thing (1982)
Palmer: Childs, it happens all the time, man. They're falling out of the sky like flies. Government knows all about it, right, Mac?
Childs: You believe any of this voodoo bullsh*t, Blair?
Palmer: Childs, Childs... Chariots of the Gods, man. They practically own South America. I mean, they taught the Incas everything they know.
The Thing (1982)
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Austin Powers was on free to air las tnight- made me LOL with some of the quotes
esp. the interplay between Dr Evil and his son in the therapy session
this is Dr Evil reliving his childhood from that scene:
" The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it."
Salmon swim upstream
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Austin Powers was on free to air las tnight- made me LOL with some of the quotes
esp. the interplay between Dr Evil and his son in the therapy session
this is Dr Evil reliving his childhood from that scene:
" The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it."
great stuff, and Mike Myers best work after this
All I do is make the stuff I would've liked
Reference things I wanna watch, reference girls I wanna bite
Now I'm firefly like a burning kite
And yousa fake fuck like a fleshlight
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& the scenes where the henchmens' friends and family get told that they have been killed
showing the softer side of henchman- it really is a clever pisstake on the genre
& yes Married an Axe Murderer is great- "Do ya think im sexy?"
quotes please Frankie Mac...
Salmon swim upstream
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Great call, Frankie. "So I Married an Axe Murderer" is one of my favourite movies.
Jag2009-09-30 09:39:47
"Look at the size of that boy's heed"
" Shhh! "
"I'm not kidding, it's like an orange on a toothpick."
"Shhh, you're going to give the boy a complex."
"Well, that's a huge noggin. That's a virtual planetoid. "
"Shh! "
"Has it's own weather system."
"Sh, sh, shh. "
"HEAD! MOVE!"
" Shhh! "
"I'm not kidding, it's like an orange on a toothpick."
"Shhh, you're going to give the boy a complex."
"Well, that's a huge noggin. That's a virtual planetoid. "
"Shh! "
"Has it's own weather system."
"Sh, sh, shh. "
"HEAD! MOVE!"
"I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Now that was offside, wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow."
"Alright, give your mother a kiss, or I'll kick your teeth in."
"You know, Scotland has its own martial arts. Yeah, it's called f**k You. It's mostly just head butting and then kicking people when they're on the ground."
"How many people have you brutally murdered?"
"Well, brutal's a very subjective word. I mean, what's brutal to one person might be totally reasonable to somebody else."
"Well, brutal's a very subjective word. I mean, what's brutal to one person might be totally reasonable to somebody else."
Jag2009-09-30 09:39:47
Apparently I'm apathetic, but I couldn't care less.
"Being a Partick Thistle fan sets you apart. It means youre a free thinker. It also means your team has no money." Tim Luckhurst, The Independent, 4th December 2003
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"How many people have you brutally murdered?""Well, brutal's a very subjective word. I mean, what's brutal to one person might be totally reasonable to somebody else."
That's gold.
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All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine,
public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public
health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
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Peter Gibbons:
Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday and you're not
feeling real well, does anyone ever say to you, "Sounds like someone
has a case of the Mondays"?
Lawrence: No. No, man. sh*t, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.
Lawrence: No. No, man. sh*t, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.
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Even though i'm a Scouser this beauty from "Fever Pitch" still gets me:
"Would you please, please, please, please, please just f**king f**k off! You have arrived during the worst 60 seconds of my life and I really do not want to see you!"
"Ive just re-visited this and once again realised that C-Diddy is a genius - a drunk, Newcastle bred disgrace - but a genius." - Hard News, 11:39am 4th June 2009
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Addams Family Values
Little Girl: ...and then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and put the diamond in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!
Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby too.
Wednesday: They had sex.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.
Bill Murray (What about Bob)
Bill Murray (What about Bob)
Dutch: Excuse me, I understand what you were saying to Natalie was personal. Well I'm involved with her now so this is personal too; you hurt her and I'll hit you so f**king hard your dog will bleed, okay?
Lonegunmen2009-09-30 12:44:38Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!
The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!
The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!
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Mitch:
I've had a hell of a day and even worse week. And all I want to do is get some f**king sleep.
Beanie: Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say "earmuffs" to him, and you can say "f**k, sh*t, bitch."
Frank: Cock. Balls.
Beanie: I'm just trying to make a point, Frank. You don't have to celebrate it.
Mitch Martin: At this point, you may be asking yourself, why am I holding this 30 pound cinder block in my hands? You might also ask yourself, why does this cinder block have a long piece of string tied to it? And finally, why is the other end of this string tied securely to your penis?
Beanie: And the answer ladies.... is trust.
Beanie: Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say "earmuffs" to him, and you can say "f**k, sh*t, bitch."
Frank: Cock. Balls.
Beanie: I'm just trying to make a point, Frank. You don't have to celebrate it.
Mitch Martin: At this point, you may be asking yourself, why am I holding this 30 pound cinder block in my hands? You might also ask yourself, why does this cinder block have a long piece of string tied to it? And finally, why is the other end of this string tied securely to your penis?
Beanie: And the answer ladies.... is trust.
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Bad Taste
Barry: Why can't aliens be friendly?
Derek: There's no glowing fingers on these bastards, we've got a bunch of Extra-Terrestrial psychopaths on our hands, like a visit from a planet full of Charlie Mansons, they've started on something small, its my guess they'll go onto something bigger next time, Christchurch, Wellington...
Barry: Auckland?
Derek: Yeah well that wouldn't be so bad
Derek: There's no glowing fingers on these bastards, we've got a bunch of Extra-Terrestrial psychopaths on our hands, like a visit from a planet full of Charlie Mansons, they've started on something small, its my guess they'll go onto something bigger next time, Christchurch, Wellington...
Barry: Auckland?
Derek: Yeah well that wouldn't be so bad
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From South Park: Make Love, Not Warcraft
Blizzard Exec #1: Fellow board members, we have a problem. Somebody in the world of warcraft is ignoring the world rules, and is going around, killing innocent players.
Blizzard Exec #2: Why kill innocent players? The game is about finishing quests!
Blizzard Exec #3: We've got to delete him from the servers!
Blizzard Exec #1: We can't! Whoever this player is, he has played world of warcraft so much, that he has reached a level we had thought unreachable. He's actually able to kill our admins! And he grows stronger everyday...
Blizzard Exec #4: Jesus!
Blizzard Exec #5: I've gotta get home! My kids are playing world of warcraft right now!
Blizzard Exec #1: Jim... Your kids' characters are already dead.
Blizzard Exec #5: No... No! They'd just started playing!
Blizzard Exec #2: What kind of person would do this?
Blizzard Exec #1: Only one kind... Whoever this person is, he has played world of warcraft nearly ever hour, of every day, for the past year and a half. Gentlemen we are dealing with someone here who has absolutely no life.
Blizzard Exec #4: How do you kill that which has no life?
Blizzard Exec #1: Gentlemen, this could very well lead to the end of the world... of warcraft.
Blizzard Exec #2: NO! NOOO!
Blizzard Exec #1: Fellow board members, we have a problem. Somebody in the world of warcraft is ignoring the world rules, and is going around, killing innocent players.
Blizzard Exec #2: Why kill innocent players? The game is about finishing quests!
Blizzard Exec #3: We've got to delete him from the servers!
Blizzard Exec #1: We can't! Whoever this player is, he has played world of warcraft so much, that he has reached a level we had thought unreachable. He's actually able to kill our admins! And he grows stronger everyday...
Blizzard Exec #4: Jesus!
Blizzard Exec #5: I've gotta get home! My kids are playing world of warcraft right now!
Blizzard Exec #1: Jim... Your kids' characters are already dead.
Blizzard Exec #5: No... No! They'd just started playing!
Blizzard Exec #2: What kind of person would do this?
Blizzard Exec #1: Only one kind... Whoever this person is, he has played world of warcraft nearly ever hour, of every day, for the past year and a half. Gentlemen we are dealing with someone here who has absolutely no life.
Blizzard Exec #4: How do you kill that which has no life?
Blizzard Exec #1: Gentlemen, this could very well lead to the end of the world... of warcraft.
Blizzard Exec #2: NO! NOOO!
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Joey:
Wait a minute. I know you. You're Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers.
Roger Murdock: I'm sorry son, but you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Roger Murdock. I'm the co-pilot.
Joey: You are Kareem. I've seen you play. My dad's got season tickets.
Roger Murdock: I think you should go back to your seat now Joey. Right Clarence?
Captain Oveur: Nahhhhhh, he's not bothering anyone, let him stay here.
Roger Murdock: But just remember, my name is
[showing his nametag]
Roger Murdock: ROGER MURDOCK. I'm an airline pilot.
Joey: I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense.
[Kareem's getting mad]
Joey: And he says that lots of times, you don't even run down court. And that you don't really try... except during the playoffs.
Roger Murdock: The hell I don't. LISTEN KID. I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.
Roger Murdock: I'm sorry son, but you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Roger Murdock. I'm the co-pilot.
Joey: You are Kareem. I've seen you play. My dad's got season tickets.
Roger Murdock: I think you should go back to your seat now Joey. Right Clarence?
Captain Oveur: Nahhhhhh, he's not bothering anyone, let him stay here.
Roger Murdock: But just remember, my name is
[showing his nametag]
Roger Murdock: ROGER MURDOCK. I'm an airline pilot.
Joey: I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense.
[Kareem's getting mad]
Joey: And he says that lots of times, you don't even run down court. And that you don't really try... except during the playoffs.
Roger Murdock: The hell I don't. LISTEN KID. I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.
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Great thread. Freddie got Fingered... Ridiculous movie, great lines:
Gord: Are hospitals always this much fun?
Betty: No, sometimes people die from cancer here.
Gord: f**k you, Dad.
Jim: f**k me?
Gord: Yeah, f**k you!
Jim: Do you want to f**k me?
Gord: What?
Jim: Do you really want to f**k me? All right, Gord (drops his pants). Get your ass over here and f**k me. Just stick it right in there.
Jim: You want Daddy to give you a spanking in front of his retard slut whore?
Betty: I'M NOT RETARDED!
Jim: Wait a minute... You�re crippled.
Gord Brody: Dad...
Betty: What?
Gord Brody: Dad...
Betty: You Got a problem with my legs?
Jim: No, you Got a problem with your legs. Its either that, or you�re just lazy.
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From the movie Dig!:
Anton Newcombe: You f**king broke my sitar motherf**ker!
Interviewer: Are you OK man?
Anton Newcombe: Yeah, I'm OK
Interviewer: Did you get hurt, is that blood on you?
Anton Newcombe: Yeah
Interviewer: From where?
Anton Newcombe: From people's faces!
See the entire scene here: Brian Jonestown Massacre - fight on stage
Anton Newcombe: You f**king broke my sitar motherf**ker!
Interviewer: Are you OK man?
Anton Newcombe: Yeah, I'm OK
Interviewer: Did you get hurt, is that blood on you?
Anton Newcombe: Yeah
Interviewer: From where?
Anton Newcombe: From people's faces!
See the entire scene here: Brian Jonestown Massacre - fight on stage
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