New Zealand Police....Scenario

20 replies · 265 views

over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

Question:

How do you tell the difference between a New Zealand Police Officer ,
an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?

Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around
the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife,
and charges.
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

NEW ZEALAND POLICE OFFICERS Answer :

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?
What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out
of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 111?

If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed when
he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself? .

If I shoot him, and lose the court case, does he have the opportunity
to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family
home?

AUSTRALIAN OFFICERS Answer:

BANG!

AMERICAN OFFICERS Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! 'click'....(reload)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! 'click'...(reload)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! 'click'

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Dad! Were those the Winchester Silver
Tips?'

Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

Bang on.

You know we belong together...

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

LOL.

Rectum Stretcher

While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?'
To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'

'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'

I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.

The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'

'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide.'

'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot a*****e?' he asked.

'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...'

Traffic Ticket - $95.00
Court Costs - $45.00
Look on the Cop's
Face..................PRICELESS

George Costanza2009-08-26 20:52:54

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

then when one of your kids is squashed by a speeding 4WD you cry "where are the cops"

everything is funny
until someone gets hurt

E's Flat Ah's Flat Too

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

#1. why would the NZ police officer call 111?

Mod please.

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

Easy Foal. I think it's a great commentary about how freaking liberal we are when it comes to guns, self defence, and looking after our cops...

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

From what I see.
It seems to be more like.

NZ cop: BANG!
Did it look like a gun?
Was I in a life threatening situation?
Will the commissioner back me no matter what my decision?

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

Stefan wrote:

From what I see.
It seems to be more like.

NZ cop: BANG!
Did it look like a gun?
Was I in a life threatening situation?
Will the commissioner back me no matter what my decision?

Bang on Max.

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

Aussie cop: BANG! (Plants MVFC scarf on corpse, blames shooting on Efnik Sokkah Violence.)

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

kiwi pie wrote:

Aussie cop: BANG! (Plants MVFC scarf on corpse, blames shooting on Efnik Sokkah Violence.)

They would never believe it unless it was a stabbing, those trigger things are too complicated for "tem Efnik tipes"

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

UberGunner wrote:

kiwi pie wrote:

Aussie cop: BANG! (Plants MVFC scarf on corpse, blames shooting on Efnik Sokkah Violence.)

They would never believe it unless it was a stabbing, those trigger things are too complicated for "tem Efnik tipes"

The attacker had a knife.

And yet I'm the tard?

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

el grapadura2009-08-27 16:32:22

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

kiwi pie wrote:

UberGunner wrote:

kiwi pie wrote:

Aussie cop: BANG! (Plants MVFC scarf on corpse, blames shooting on Efnik Sokkah Violence.)

They would never believe it unless it was a stabbing, those trigger things are too complicated for "tem Efnik tipes"

The attacker had a knife.

And yet I'm the tard?

um the point was the police wouldn't believe it was efnik violence if he was shot, instead of stabbed.

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

er, it was more a vague pronunciation on the seemingly inescapable fact that those who want more Police and a crack down on "crime" seem to not like traffic cops.

as the speed limit, or in fact road safety in general, is for other people

so:
it's funny until someone gets hurt...

E's Flat Ah's Flat Too

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

Not just traffic cops.
And it is true, most of the people who don't like cops are the ones who complain when something goes wrong.
Stefan2009-08-27 22:09:19

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

el grapadura wrote:

If i could find the picture of 'V' from 'V for Vendetta' I would post it now.

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

UberGunner wrote:

kiwi pie wrote:

UberGunner wrote:

kiwi pie wrote:

Aussie cop: BANG! (Plants MVFC scarf on corpse, blames shooting on Efnik Sokkah Violence.)

They would never believe it unless it was a stabbing, those trigger things are too complicated for "tem Efnik tipes"

The attacker had a knife.

And yet I'm the tard?

um the point was the police wouldn't believe it was efnik violence if he was shot, instead of stabbed.

You're not too familiar with efnik violence then. GunZ R FullY Sik BRo!!11!!

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

Oska wrote:

Bang on.

dReAdFuL PUN!!

Profile pic. Should you be interested. Lakhsen, on the right, lost touch with him.
Mohammed, on the left, I'm still in touch with. He's now living in Agadez, Niger. More focused on his animals now as tourism has dried up. Is active with a co-op promoting local goods, leather work and bijouterie, into Europe.
20/5/20

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

Way to shoot me down dairyflat

You know we belong together...

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over 16 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

.Cosimo2009-08-28 22:39:46

I like tautologies because I like them.

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