Scots and Poms.. have a read
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Wha's Like Us?
The typical Englishman finishes his breakfast of toast and marmalade invented by Mrs Keller of Dundee, Scotland, and slipsinto his raincoat, patented by Charles Mackintosh from Glasgow, Scotland. He then walks to his office along an Enlgish - tarmac surfaced - lane, invented by John Loudon MacAdam of Ayr, Scotland. Or he arrives in his car, which is fitted with pneumatic tyres patnented by John Boyd Dunlop, of Dreghorn, Scotland.
Before he had a car he used to travel by train, which was powered by a steam engine, invested by James Watt of Greenock, Scotland.
In his office he deals with the mail bearing adhesice stamps invented by John Chalmers of Dundee, Scotland, and makes frequent use of the telephone, invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland.
At home in the evening, he dines on his favourite Roast beef from Aberdeen Angus, raised in Aberdeenshire, Scotland. He then watches some televisionan invention of Scotsman John Logie Baird, of Helensbourgh, Scotland - about John Paul Jones, father of the United States navy, born in Kirkbean, Scotland. The Englishman's son prefers to read Treasure Island, written by famous Scottish author, Robert Louis Stevenson, from Edinburgh, Scotland. Whilst his daughter prefers to play in the garden with her bicycle, invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, of Thornhill, Scotland.
It is impossible for an Englishman to escape the ingenuity of the Scots!
In desperation he turns to the bible only to find that the first person metioned is a Scotsman king James V1, who authorized the translation.
He could - of course - turn to drink, but Scotland makes the finest whiskey in the world.
At the end of his tether he uplifts a rifle to end it all, but Captain Patrick Feguson, of Pitfours, Scotland invented the Breech-loading-rifle!
If the Englishman escapes death by the rifle, he would find himself being injected with penicillin
discovered by Scottish Bacteriologist, Sir Alexander Fleming, of Darvel, Scotland - or he might be given Chloroform, am anaesthetic first used by Sir James Young Simpson, of Bathgate, Scotland.
Out of the anaesthetic, the Englishman's mood would not be improved if the doctor told him that his condition was as safe as the bank of England, which was founded by William Paterson, of Dumfries, Scotland.
Perhaps in order to get some peace, he could request a transfusion o guid Scottish blood so that he to could be entitled to ask
Wha's like us?
Yep everything in this world was invented by a load of jocks. Good
one.
I thought that was the Greeks?
What sports are the Scottish good at?
Curling?
beating france twice in football is hi enuf achievement
What sports are the Scottish good at?
dont forget that we invented 7s ruga!
The worst form of rugby
Hernandez must be a fan as well.
That comes as no surprise KP.
We invented the Buzzy Bee so take that
I AM HOME! ITS WERE MY COMPUTER IS!
Are you and Frankie Mac fans of the Deep fried mars bar HN
No, the meat content isn't high enough.
Remove the Mars bar and make it Steak or Pork and I'm there.
Hard News2007-09-18 21:47:35
We invented the Buzzy Bee so take that
I AM HOME! ITS WERE MY COMPUTER IS!
We invented the Buzzy Bee so take that
I AM HOME! ITS WERE MY COMPUTER IS!
beating france twice in football is hi enuf achievement
What sports are the Scottish good at?
Are you and Frankie Mac fans of the Deep fried mars bar HN
No, the meat content isn't high enough.
Remove the Mars bar and make it Steak or Pork and I'm there.
A deep fried pork bar? Sounds awfully sus.
beating france twice in football is hi enuf achievement
What sports are the Scottish good at?
and how is that fun?
I think he expected common sense Celtic. I think he picked the
wrong person but.
and how is that fun?
Scots and Poms.. have a read
Wha's Like Us?
The typical Englishman finishes his breakfast of toast and marmalade invented by Mrs Keller of Dundee, Scotland, and slipsinto his raincoat, patented by Charles Mackintosh from Glasgow, Scotland. He then walks to his office along an Enlgish - tarmac surfaced - lane, invented by John Loudon MacAdam of Ayr, Scotland. Or he arrives in his car, which is fitted with pneumatic tyres patnented by John Boyd Dunlop, of Dreghorn, Scotland.
Before he had a car he used to travel by train, which was powered by a steam engine, invested by James Watt of Greenock, Scotland.
In his office he deals with the mail bearing adhesice stamps invented by John Chalmers of Dundee, Scotland, and makes frequent use of the telephone, invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland.
At home in the evening, he dines on his favourite Roast beef from Aberdeen Angus, raised in Aberdeenshire, Scotland. He then watches some televisionan invention of Scotsman John Logie Baird, of Helensbourgh, Scotland - about John Paul Jones, father of the United States navy, born in Kirkbean, Scotland. The Englishman's son prefers to read Treasure Island, written by famous Scottish author, Robert Louis Stevenson, from Edinburgh, Scotland. Whilst his daughter prefers to play in the garden with her bicycle, invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, of Thornhill, Scotland.
It is impossible for an Englishman to escape the ingenuity of the Scots!
In desperation he turns to the bible only to find that the first person metioned is a Scotsman king James V1, who authorized the translation.
He could - of course - turn to drink, but Scotland makes the finest whiskey in the world.
At the end of his tether he uplifts a rifle to end it all, but Captain Patrick Feguson, of Pitfours, Scotland invented the Breech-loading-rifle!
If the Englishman escapes death by the rifle, he would find himself being injected with penicillin
discovered by Scottish Bacteriologist, Sir Alexander Fleming, of Darvel, Scotland - or he might be given Chloroform, am anaesthetic first used by Sir James Young Simpson, of Bathgate, Scotland.
Out of the anaesthetic, the Englishman's mood would not be improved if the doctor told him that his condition was as safe as the bank of England, which was founded by William Paterson, of Dumfries, Scotland.
Perhaps in order to get some peace, he could request a transfusion o guid Scottish blood so that he to could be entitled to ask
Wha's like us?
few errors i know, but quite good i thinik
CelticFC2007-09-17 17:27:13
Yep everything in this world was invented by a load of jocks. Good
one.Wolfben2007-09-17 17:57:17
History will show the only thing you really invented was the deep fried Mars bar.
And you turned a perfectly good skirt into some kind of transexual
icon where men with no underwear now wear it.
Wolfben2007-09-17 19:15:23
you forgot porridge - the world's only grey food
but, to be fair you also gave the world the best James
Bond
.....and we invented cholesterol and are the World Heart Attack
champions
"Cholesterol. Scottish people eat it" - Alan Partridge
Auckland Jag2007-09-17 21:43:37
"Cholesterol. Scottish people eat it" - Alan Partridge
Auckland Jag2007-09-17 21:43:37
I thought that was the Greeks?
brilliant. f**k the english (i know thats gonna get moderated right
quik)
SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS
A Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.
The Scotsman shouts " Awa ye feel hoor that �s full O� coos Sharn" (Don't drink the water, it's full of cow s **t.)
The man shouts back "I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you".
The Scotsman shouts back "Use both hands, you'll get more in."
A Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.
The Scotsman shouts " Awa ye feel hoor that �s full O� coos Sharn" (Don't drink the water, it's full of cow s **t.)
The man shouts back "I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you".
The Scotsman shouts back "Use both hands, you'll get more in."
What is the only thing you can get out of a scotsman?
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Bloody insults
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Bloody insults
What sports are the Scottish good at?
Curling?
Football. France 0 Scotland 1. Nuff said.
Yeah, listen to the Cook Island, Samoan, Scots, Pittsburgh,
Wellingtonian
Scotland are currently World Elephant Polo champions - so stick
that in your pipe!
And don't forget the Homeless World Cup!!!
and curling, rowing, rugby.. hockey..
dont forget that we invented 7s ruga!
The worst form of rugby
GO HOME Jamie
Name 100 things Nzers have invented before dising the sh*t out
of us
I AM HOME! ITS WERE MY COMPUTER IS!
We invented the Buzzy Bee so take that
We invented the Buzzy Bee so take that
Don't get me wrong; I love a deep fried mars bar, me!
That comes as no surprise KP.
Hernandez must be a fan as well.
Hernandez must be a fan as well.
Are you and Frankie Mac fans of the Deep fried mars bar HN
Hernandez must be a fan as well.
HE'S JUST BIG BONED!!!
We invented the Buzzy Bee so take that
the bussy wat? wtf is that
No, the meat content isn't high enough.
Remove the Mars bar and make it Steak or Pork and I'm there.
Hard News2007-09-18 21:47:35
We invented the Buzzy Bee so take that
the bussy wat? wtf is that
We invented the Buzzy Bee so take that
the bussy wat? wtf is that
Sorry to offend, but in Scotland we have no Buzzy bee
Its a Bee with wheels that you drag around with a string
and how is that fun?
and curling, rowing, rugby.. hockey..
beating france doesnt make you good - everyone knows your
utter sh*te and Fletcher is your best player
Curling - I said sport
Rowing - I'm sure you aint that great.
Rugby - Are you avin a laugh?
Hockey - Erm.. right
Curling - I said sport
Rowing - I'm sure you aint that great.
Rugby - Are you avin a laugh?
Hockey - Erm.. right
No, the meat content isn't high enough.
Remove the Mars bar and make it Steak or Pork and I'm there.
A deep fried pork bar? Sounds awfully sus.
and curling, rowing, rugby.. hockey..
beating france doesnt make you good - everyone knows your
utter sh*te and Fletcher is your best player
Curling - I said sport
Rowing - I'm sure you aint that great.
Rugby - Are you avin a laugh?
Hockey - Erm.. right
Curling - I said sport
Rowing - I'm sure you aint that great.
Rugby - Are you avin a laugh?
Hockey - Erm.. right
where are you from Benny?
And rugby we will thrash zee Abs
Hockey we are legends
Football wwe have euro 08 in the bag
curling is a sport
rowing we are legends
yes im being up myself.. what do u expect
I think he expected common sense Celtic. I think he picked the
wrong person but.
You should 'bee' deported.
tut tut
common sense?
that is common sense
You should 'bee' deported.
Name 100 things Nzers have invented before dising the sh*t out
of us
Why should NZ need to prove itself.
It's you the "Sweaty Sock" who is dissing every other
nation.
Ain't you heard the phrase "RESPECT YOUR BETTERS"