Star Wars (contains spoilers, and now contains Rogue One)

I'm with you cosimo.

so you're NOT happy Cosimo?

Cosimo, did you ever think of doing a script for Robot Chicken?

It was OK, I just don't get why there needs to be scenes like that that are pointlessly stupid. There is necessary stupidness in a movie like Star Wars, but those things didn't have to happen.

So Cosimo's post is funny, but I felt compelled to point out that it's not necessarily valid criticism. 

Penis helmet new Vader guy: There are goodies here! find them, stormtroopers! Although we have technology to suck up a whole sun, we don't have video surveillance, so the only way we can find people is for you guys to jog along and look behind corners. make sure you look behind all the corners! all billion of them....otherwise they'll have places to hide...

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure cameras don't exist in the Star Wars universe (and especially not after the world gets set back during the rise of the Empire between Episode III and IV). I can't recall seeing one at all. Bear in mind that this all happened a long time ago (not the future) so they don't necessarily have technology that we've invented.

***

Rey: Hey penis helmet new Vader guy, you look pretty scary and your voice is real cool, but I bet you won't take your helmet off...

Penis helmet new Vader guy: Sure I will! it will give me an opportunity to look vulnerable show off my acting range. Look, i'm still scary!

Rey: hahahaha you look like a pussy now, i'm totally not scared of you.

Penis helmet new Vader guy: dammit, I should have kept my helmet on...

She's still pretty fudgeing scared of him when she realises that he can take anything from her memory just by using the force. 

***

some American....I mean Resistance soldier: we only have 2 minutes before they suck up the entire sun!

(10 minutes later) we only have 30 seconds to go!

This one is pretty valid, but time isn't necessarily continuous in movies. Things can be happening simultaneously, but they can obviously only show one thing at once. So the stuff that is happening outside could have been happening while Kylo/Han are on the bridge, but shown before/after it in the film.

***

Han Solo: can you disable the defence shield of an entire planet? I imagine it'd be really easy and there won't be measures to prevent it

Huckleberry Finn: sure I can! piece of piss. I was a storm trooper; we are totes powerful and not just cannonfodder, and we all get taught how to disable the defence shield when we're little boys.

Han  Solo: sweet, we'll send some guys to shoot it in the right place and blow it up - that's never happened before, so no one will expect it or have measures to prevent it happening.

Except Finn explicitly states to Han that he has no idea how to lower the shields.

Penis helmet new Vader guy: Man, i'm really struggling in this one on one battle with an ex storm trooper, even though I managed to stop a laser by simply holding out my hand earlier....this lack of consistency is a pain in the ass! Am I real strong or not? I guess it just depends!

Ren had just been shot by Chewie's bowcaster, which is pretty fudgeing powerful (as was pointed out when Han used it for the first time). It makes sense that he will be weaker because of the damage.

If they didn't have cameras how did R2D2 record/film Princess Leia in Star Wars episode IV?

It was a hologram done with lazers. My wife has Jedi mind powers! She says to me "You are going to do this" and magically I find myself doing it.

smartarse.

How's this then?

Senate Cam droids

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Cam_droid

Yep okay, happy to bow to greater knowledge on this one! 

Sorry Patrick, but just no. The movie has about as much logic as my penis, and is lamer than it needs to be to work.

PS I know Finn can't disable the shields, but Solo believes he can - just as stoopid.

Nah it held together much better than Star Disney 1 had a right too. Maybe mashed the emotional buildup a bit to some important scenes and there was some weird stuff around people using light sabers they had no right to have any skill with...

I don't think most of Cosimo's criticisms are valid- there are usually a million holes in any popular movie, especially one like this. It just had to be better than I, II and III and that wasn't too tough...

also camera's don't appear to feature in large part in the universe. There are no selfie sticks. Sure there are the holograms, but you don't see a lot of TV screens...

I think Kylo watsit is supposed to be a bit of a screw up, especially compared to Vader. Where Vader might take anger out on Storm Troopers, Ren throws a few temper tantrums, and generally is a bit younger and less imperious than the Sith/Vader who he aspires to emulate.

yeh he's Jeremy/Kevin of whom spoke or we must speak about...immature and amoral.

I think him killing Han though was more in the way of acting criticism and how Chewee was acting him off the screen...

38 years ago  wanted to tap princess Lia, but, now, no way. Aged well, she has not! Hmmmmm (Yoda voice). Speaking of which, no mention or him as such or apparition. And what happened to Lando? I'm still disappointed that Han lost the Falcon in the first place. Him dying pissed me off. Sadly his son looks nothing like either parent either. Otherwise I enjoyed it. It has almost banished episodes 1-3 thank fudge. May the 4th be with you!

I still would because shes Leia but the accent would drive me insane.

Having read the fantastic investigative journalism on Stuff I suspect Gunmen is taking the piss.  

I'm sure he understands that 38 years is a long time.

My son showed me something yesterday. I asked him to download the film for me cause want to watch this film at home as well and he was trying to find me a download but apparently Disney have chosen not to put this film up for the awards season because in their minds, its not going to get any nominations anyway. Apparently when you put your movies up for the awards season, you provide what called a 'screener release' for those judges to watch and invariably thats how a lot of movies are leaked on to the internet on file sharing sites. By not seeking an award nomination cause they knew they most likely were not going to get one, they did not provide a screener release and thus, there are no copies flying around on the internet (so he tells me)

How is this relevant to your point? Well I think the people that made the fantasy film are probably just aware of the holes that you have pointed out but in the name of fantasy, suspense, action, they simply don't care. This is a Star Wars film, not The Kings Speech.

wait, so you tried to steal the movie for free from the internet?

Chopah, your very last sentence sums it up. It is a fantasy film that endares a lot of us. It is not factual or real. But it is two hours away from the reality of life and stresses. The Kings Speech was brilliant and factual and real and deserved its recognition.

I think you mean Vader, movie thief.

1: I have been to see the movie twice and paid twice. They've gotten my $40 and change.

2: I haven't downloaded it. When I do find one, I will download it, just like more than a few others will too 

Get down off your soap box.

Just don't post any download links in here. IDGAF what you don't in your spare time and with your Internet connection though :)

Me or Chopa? I don't download flicks unless I pay for them on Google Movies. I prefer to buy the bluray for certain movies like sci fi ones.

Ooops, reread it, Apologies, I did mean Vader. his last sentence. 

thanks for summarizing my position from your point of view, and also that i can't be allowed an opinion unless i tell everyone in the world doing the same thing to stop..

1) that doesn't mean you can steal it

2) just because other people steal it doesn't mean you are morally in the green.

What exactly is a soap box? for people who are not ancient.

A Soap box is for short people like Tom Cruise to stand on so they look taller in the close up shots!

Since you did offer me your unsolicited opinion then please understand that now I'm giving it back to you, don't cry about it. General rule of thumb is if you don't like your opinion being thrown back at you, don't offer it in the 1st place. Something along the lines of if you can't take it, don't dish it out.

I'm not trying to morally justify anything. I quite clearly stated my position unashamedly. If I was really worried about what other people thought of me, an internet forum is the wrong place to be. What I find more fascinating is your desire to single me out as the only bad guy in the world. I'm more inclined to think personal bias as opposed to any moral position you have but I'll leave you to reflect on that one.

A soap box is what religious zealots stood on on street corners when preaching to the masses that walked by, hence the term get down off your soapbox. I think it originated in the late 1800s and is a general term for people standing above the crowd and telling all in sundry their opinion/position.

yeah yeah whatever makes you feel better about stealing - oh wait almost stealing... i guess you have done nothing wrong then.  move along.

Dude drop it.

If you truly never pirate or have never watched a pirated movie,  or have never watched anything outside of the licence agreement (e.g. watching sky, or a DVD with a big group) or have never streamed any content that was technically piracy then good on you.

But every "anti-piracy" person I have met consumes pirated or unpaid for content but doesn't want to do the deed themselves so forgive us if we don't care about your angle.

@Patrick - why don't you care what we do with our internet connections?  I've "researched" some crazy shark over the years.

On topic - so that star wars movie was pretty great.

What I find interesting is that the general held view is that Rey is Luke's daughter, but I also kinda go 'they sign post it so obviously in the film but then don't address it? Is this like some big reveal for later that not really a big reveal anymore?'

Just watched it. Thought Rey was great and sexy as hell.

Love how they have plucked a 23 year old whom no one has ever heard of before.

Yes, a heck of a lot of similarities to the 1st one but hey what the heck. It was nice and raw and not over the top with special effects

And Vader, may the force be with you in your pirating 

That was my thought right after the movie, shark it was my thought 10 minutes in.

But it's possible they are doing a luke-leia thing and kylo and rae are brother and sister.

And I thought of the staring thing at the end being the first time he's seen his daughter in decades, but have been rethinking it more and more.

Did anyone else twist and turn in their chair when following the Falcon being chased? 

Hyde Park has speakers corner. I have seen a fair few people on their soap boxes there. Some were bloody good too!

You said drop it and i pretty much had - but you make some interesting points, so i shall respond to those and then leave it there if you like.

Firstly I wasn't out to lynch Vader, i don't care if he or you or anyone pirates - but it's stealing so don't get offended if i call you a thief (even if it was mostly tongue in cheek).

In the movie industry pirating a movie while it's at cinema release is a big deal, studios will hunt people down - it's not the grey area (apparently) of pirating a live sports event.  It's black and white theft - which is why Patrick didn't want any links posted on this site (not that anyone was in danger of doing that).

The mere fact Vader got so upset over a couple of tongue in cheek jibes is just how he is - I certainly wasn't trying to and don't want to lecture him in the wrongs and rights of pirating, he seems to have a good grip on those (as do you) and have made a moral call to ignore the legality of it.

Just don't get all pooey if someone calls you out - it's not like i'm the one breaking the law here.

FYI Vader - this has nothing to do with my current employer, despite your suggestions to the contrary.

The question is which direction is Vaders moral compass pointing

Clearly it has always been pointing to the the dark side

But hey he's a member of this forum so I won't dob him in

To be fair I was never in any danger of dobbing him in. 

So who do you work for? The Fuzz?

SKY

Actually it's not black and white theft.  It's a big messy grey area.

Black and white theft would be taking a physical copy so they are no longer in possession of something they were before.

Creating a copy means they still have everything they had before.  The only "theft" is him getting a copy from someone else.

Just like if a kid draws a picture of mickey mouse is theft as they are creating a copy of something copyrighted.  Or scanning a page of a book someone lent the kid so they can keep working on.their homework.  Copying copyrighted material.

What it is is a loss of earnings.  I.e. They didn't get money because he didn't pay them to view it the third time.  The ethics around that question relies on him not paying for the content.   Which would be very valid if he hadn't paid twice.  Maybe he was never going to pay again.  So what did the movie companies lose if he downloads a copy in the privacy of his own home and doesn't share it?
Surely if theft occurred they lost something?

And more importantly you wrote judgemental comments about his ethical standpoint.  That's wrong unless you are a stellar individual who has never watched or read pirated content in any shape or form.  which is possible but probably unlikely (based on previous experience with others sharing the same view).

You might believe that it's obvious it was tongue in cheek but it wasn't obvious to me.  It was fudgeing rude which is why you had better be perfect.

E.g never watching sky or DVD's with a group of people where the fee for the number of people watching was not paid.  Or watched a trailer someone saved or from a site not licenced.  Or if you tried to watch a video and got the message it was taken down due to copyright issues, guess what, you tried to pirate you thief. Etc.

Oh and Patrick had to make the no link rule clear because that multi trillion dollar industry has a scary amount of power and the site can be taken down.