Off Topic

Things I don't get

150 replies · 1,190 views
over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

religion
I like tautologies because I like them.
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Why is dyslexic so difficult to spell...

Apparently I'm apathetic, but I couldn't care less.

"Being a Partick Thistle fan sets you apart. It means youre a free thinker. It also means your team has no money." Tim Luckhurst, The Independent, 4th December 2003

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Why do 'pants' have a plural connotation when it's one item of clothing?
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
If little girls are like sugar & spice and all things nice, why do they smell of anchovies?
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Why do 'pants' have a plural connotation when it's one item of clothing?
 
Especially when you talk about "a pair of pants".
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Why does the full moon look flat when we all know it isn't.
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Because Galileo was the biggest con-artist of all time.
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

I have seen it on TV, a place in South America that is right on the equator.

They have two big bowls with drains about 30 feet apart. In one bowl the water drains clockwise and in the other it drains anti clockwise.
 
So what direction does the water go if a bowl was right on the spot of the equator - other than straight down??
Lonegunmen2008-10-15 23:01:41
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Lonegunmen wrote:
 
So what direction does the water go if a bowl was right on the spot of the equator - other than straight down??


It just sits there and looks at ya.

Three for me, and two for them.

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Why does the word lisp have an s in it?
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Why does flammable mean the same as inflammable?
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
If three road cones sit perpendicular to a hat; in the event that the hat starts to cry, which of the cones would console the hat, and which of the cones would stab the platypus in the abdomen?
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
If three road cones sit perpendicular to a hat; in the event that the hat starts to cry, which of the cones would console the hat, and which of the cones would stab the platypus in the abdomen?
 
I'm starting to worry about some of my fellow forum members...  
Profile pic. Should you be interested. Lakhsen, on the right, lost touch with him.
Mohammed, on the left, I'm still in touch with. He's now living in Agadez, Niger. More focused on his animals now as tourism has dried up. Is active with a co-op promoting local goods, leather work and bijouterie, into Europe. 
20/5/20

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Surrealism is alive and well - said the fish to the curtain rail.
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Lonegunmen wrote:
If little girls are like sugar & spice and all things nice, why do they smell of anchovies?



lol and you smell of what exactly?

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Why is 'phonetic' not said as it's spelt?
Nix, Leyton Orient and Alloa Athletic supporting schmuck.

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
how long is a piece of string ?
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Why building is a completed structure and built means in progress.
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Why do birds suddenly appear?

Three for me, and two for them.

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
If you dismantle something, why do you not mantle it when putting it back together?
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Why Americans have to have American versions of great overseas TV series. What's wrong with watching the original?

They've Americanised "Life on Mars" ffs!

http://abc.go.com/primetime/lifeonmars/index?pn=index

When Hibs, went up, to win the Scottish Cup - I wisnae there - furfuxake!

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
People who read books about other people's hideous childhoods.

Seriously, why do you feel the need to read that stuff?
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
ginger_eejit wrote:
Why Americans have to have American versions of great overseas TV series. What's wrong with watching the original?

They've Americanised "Life on Mars" ffs!

http://abc.go.com/primetime/lifeonmars/index?pn=index
 
Yeah for sure. Annoys me that they did that with the office

Allegedly

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
and Kath and Kim.
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
kiwi pie wrote:
People who read books about other people's hideous childhoods.

Seriously, why do you feel the need to read that stuff?
 
Totally and I think you'll find its mostly women. Never understood why women enjoy watching all these Murder documentries on the crime channel etc, womens mags always have a section on some women who has been murdered or knows someone who's been murdered, or has some awful disfiguring disease. FFS life is horrible enough why read/watch it as a form of relaxation?
 
I remember at school this girl and one of those graphic autopsy/people dying in horrible ways books, (her dad was a doctor), she really LOVED that book

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Recently I saw a a women's mag cover headline that said something like;
"UNITED IN GRIEF - A MONSTER KILLED OUR GIRLS".
Thumbing through it at the supermarket, I found it wasn't a monster at all, just some guy. Disappointing, as I was hoping that Godzilla or maybe the Predator had been active again.
TheJam2008-10-17 07:24:28
Nix, Leyton Orient and Alloa Athletic supporting schmuck.

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Why people get big noses.

ive got a song that wont take long, Adelaide are rubbish.. the second verse is same as the first.. ADELAIDE ARE RUBBISH

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

people who go to concerts and just stand there like statues
I like tautologies because I like them.
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Scottishbhoy wrote:
Why people get big noses.


Broken usually. Or Jew.

Three for me, and two for them.

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Buffon II wrote:
Broken usually. Or Jew.
 
Dont forget greeks


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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Human Resources, honestly, why can't I just say "you're useless now p*ss off"?
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
ForteanTimes wrote:
Lonegunmen wrote:
If little girls are like sugar & spice and all things nice, why do they smell of anchovies?



lol and you smell of what exactly?
 
that statement!!
 
what are you doing smelling little girls
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear...?
 
Oh, and...
 
TheJam wrote:
Recently I saw a a women's mag cover headline that said something like;
"UNITED IN GRIEF - A MONSTER KILLED OUR GIRLS".
Thumbing through it at the supermarket, I found it wasn't a monster at all, just some guy. Disappointing, as I was hoping that Godzilla or maybe the Predator had been active again.
 
PMSL
Milky Pisswit2008-10-17 09:59:13
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
TheJam wrote:
Recently I saw a a women's mag cover headline that said something like;
"UNITED IN GRIEF - A MONSTER KILLED OUR GIRLS".
Thumbing through it at the supermarket, I found it wasn't a monster at all, just some guy. Disappointing, as I was hoping that Godzilla or maybe the Predator had been active again.

I would have expected nothing less than a werewolf. Disappointing.
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
TheJam wrote:
Recently I saw a a women's mag cover headline that said something like;
"UNITED IN GRIEF - A MONSTER KILLED OUR GIRLS".
Thumbing through it at the supermarket, I found it wasn't a monster at all, just some guy. Disappointing, as I was hoping that Godzilla or maybe the Predator had been active again.
 
Quality!   

Apparently I'm apathetic, but I couldn't care less.

"Being a Partick Thistle fan sets you apart. It means youre a free thinker. It also means your team has no money." Tim Luckhurst, The Independent, 4th December 2003

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Cosimo wrote:

people who go to concerts and just stand there like statues


Yeah but some of us are old and have ruined our ears, (tinnitus please look after your ears young uns as it is a horrible condition to have), and now have to wear ear plugs. Half the time I don't bother as it's pointless going to see a band with them in.So we are the old confused deaf and messed up folk standing like statues.


Totally agree though when I first started seeing bands in the late 80's. Most of the crowd were men and the only guys to bring their girlfriends were smug gits who would stand with their partners at the back.

The rest of us would go mental moshing or wrecking. I've seen a couple of broken arms at gigs. These days everyone is a friggin couple. You cannot get out of order jumping around, hitting each other,(in a wrecking moshing way), I come home these days totally unscathed, whern I was 17 after a gig I could'nt move for 3 days! TodayIf you start jumping around you get a dodgy look from some snotty couple.

I feel sorry for people going to gigs now as there is no passion or energy. You might as well stay home and watch a DVD. (still don't stop me going to gigs though )
ForteanTimes2008-10-17 10:44:17

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
football_mum wrote:
ForteanTimes wrote:
Lonegunmen wrote:
If little girls are like sugar & spice and all things nice, why do they smell of anchovies?



lol and you smell of what exactly?
 
that statement!!
 
what are you doing smelling little girls
 
Actually it was a quote I borrowed off someone else whom can stay nameless. It's years old.
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
ForteanTimes wrote:
Never understood why women enjoy watching all these Murder documentries on the crime channel etc,


Careful, they're getting ideas.
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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Things I don't get:   Why is it that some people go to gigs and pay no attention to the gig whatsoever?
 
At gig at the SFBH a while back. A couple stood next to me and start having a domestic. They were doing the, loudly, "what's wrong with us" thing. So I ask the question? "Two tickets at $35 each is $70 isn't it?".  "err... Yes?" says bloke. Says I "Do you realise you can get an hour's relationship counselling for that?"
 
I thought it was funny. 
Profile pic. Should you be interested. Lakhsen, on the right, lost touch with him.
Mohammed, on the left, I'm still in touch with. He's now living in Agadez, Niger. More focused on his animals now as tourism has dried up. Is active with a co-op promoting local goods, leather work and bijouterie, into Europe. 
20/5/20

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over 17 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Profile pic. Should you be interested. Lakhsen, on the right, lost touch with him.
Mohammed, on the left, I'm still in touch with. He's now living in Agadez, Niger. More focused on his animals now as tourism has dried up. Is active with a co-op promoting local goods, leather work and bijouterie, into Europe. 
20/5/20

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