On a lighter note, just had to call ASB about something and got the message that they were "experiencing higher than normal call volumes" and to consider calling back later unless the enquiry is urgent. Decided to hang on and see what happened, expecting a message telling me my expected wait time was 30 minutes or something but then someone answered immediately. Wonder if they just use that first message to try and discourage people from holding on regardless of how many are on hold.
As it happens it was a waste of time anyway as she basically told me to bugger off and look online (which I obviously had already done before feeling the need to speak to a person).