Did you hear the one about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?
He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
Things that piss you off...
Fourteen and Conan, thanks for your point of views, it makes for interesting reading. You have given me something to consider. Yes I have watched that Ancient Aliens program on Tv and the remake of Cosmos is also very interesting too. More of a sequel than a remake I guess.
Just look at the scientific proof lads.
1. There are three ancient civilisations (Egyptian, Angkor, Mayan) which all involve human sacrifice.
2. And temples - pyramid shaped.
3. From their squiggly symbol-based writing (technical term is hieroglyphics) it can be seen that every 100 years, godS would visit and demand human sacrifices which were fed to big insect-like beasts and from their bodies more insect-like beasts were spawned. Yea verily they were creepyish and crawlyish and the wretched folk did go "arrgh", "aiyeee" and "Teufel".
4. But the good Lords did smite down these salivery-enhanced spidery-insectory type abominations with almighty righteous roating blade-flying-shuriken weapons, extendable-pointy-metal-sticks, and holy-thermo-nuclear-bomb-explodey-devices.
5. And the screeching, egg-laying, acid-containing beasties did go "aiyee", "arrgh" and "aiyee" again.
6. And then the good Lords did summon up a humoungous metallic flying saucery thing which materialised out of nowhere and buggered off to heaven for another 100 years.
According to this documentary I saw in 2004, the last known temple is located in Antarctica under a disused whaling station.
While we're all religous, I just saw the 60 Minutes programme on Pope Francis - who is single-handedly making Catholicism the "in" religion these days (twat off Richard Gere, the real deal is in the house now). Soon choir boys will be able to sing without a nervous tremble.
So with that in mind here is one from LG's Lonely Lolathon thread that I think even the big-P would chuckle at:
A priest was walking by a river when a fisherman spotted him and invited him to fish with him for a while, the priest accepted.
30 minutes later the priest catches a huge fish and pulls it out of the river. The fisherman, overwhelmed with the priest's catch says "Jesus, that's a big f*cker!"
The priest, being a man of the cloth, tells the fisherman off for using such foul language, but the fisherman being a quick thinking bloke explains that the fish is actually called a F*cker. The priest apologises for going off at the fisherman.
Not long afterwards the priest takes his fish back to the monastery where he sees the bishop.
"Hey Bishop, look at this big F*cker I caught!"
The bishop yells at the priest for using such foul language, the priest explains that the fish is called a F*cker. The bishop apologises and says "Well, how about I go clean the F*cker?"
After cleaning the fish the bishop runs into the Mother Superior, "Look at this big F*cker the priest caught".
The Mother Superior looks shocked and yells at the bishop for using such foul language in a place of worship. The bishop explains that the fish is called a F*cker, the Mother Superior apologises and says, "how about I go cook the F*cker?"
That night the Pope, the all mighty leader of the Catholic Church comes around for dinner.
There seated at the table when the Mother Superior brings in the fish and places it on the table, the priest with a big smile on his face says, "I caught the F*cker!". Then the bishop says "and I cleaned the F*cker" then the Mother Superior says "and I cooked the F*cker".
The Pope stares at them with a steely gaze for a while, then all of a sudden drops a massive fart, kicks off his slippers and puts his feet on the table, sculls a straight shot of whiskey, lights up a cigar and then says "Hey, do you know - you c*nts are alright".
(From The Fighting Cock)
PS Apologies to any Catholics who are offended. Apparently the Pope is a season ticket holder for an Argentinan football club. So basically he's one of us.
PMSL , thanks for an awesome joke. (Copies and pastes for work colleagues.)
Just read through this thread, and I have to say that as one of the "mindless sheep", the amount of anti-Christian in this thread p**ses me a off a bit.
Ha, some pretty classic gags in here. Love it.
Appreciate the responses, to be honest I was expecting a bit of hostility over it, so I'm pleasantly surprised by that. Gave me some interesting food for thought. Ta! We certainly are a wide ranging bunch of odds and sods around here. And there's nothing wrong with that. Just as long as we can all agree that the FFA are a bunch of twats...
All good.
...but shops closed when they could be earning some dosh and providing others with services is a bit naff don't you think?
All good.
...but shops closed when they could be earning some dosh and providing others with services is a bit naff don't you think?
Personally, I don't have a problem with it. I think it's good to have a few days a year when we can all take a break from buying stuff, and chill out with friends/family etc. But that has nothing to do with the religious nature of the holiday... I wouldn't be upset if the stat got transferred from Easter Sunday to Waitangi Day for example.
Having said that, I did get caught out on Sunday needing to buy some cheese, and having to pay double for it at a dairy, so I understand the frustration. Maybe supermarkets could open, but leave the clothes, plants and $2 junk for another day?
All good.
...but shops closed when they could be earning some dosh and providing others with services is a bit naff don't you think?
Personally, I don't have a problem with it. I think it's good to have a few days a year when we can all take a break from buying stuff, and chill out with friends/family etc. But that has nothing to do with the religious nature of the holiday... I wouldn't be upset if the stat got transferred from Easter Sunday to Waitangi Day for example.
Having said that, I did get caught out on Sunday needing to buy some cheese, and having to pay double for it at a dairy, so I understand the frustration. Maybe supermarkets could open, but leave the clothes, plants and $2 junk for another day?
In many ways I agree with you, but given retailers are not allowed to open, perhaps Landlords of the Retailers premises should not be able to charge rental for the Public Holidays that they are not allowed to open? A Stupid idea I know but sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander!
All good.
...but shops closed when they could be earning some dosh and providing others with services is a bit naff don't you think?
Personally, I don't have a problem with it. I think it's good to have a few days a year when we can all take a break from buying stuff, and chill out with friends/family etc. But that has nothing to do with the religious nature of the holiday... I wouldn't be upset if the stat got transferred from Easter Sunday to Waitangi Day for example.
Having said that, I did get caught out on Sunday needing to buy some cheese, and having to pay double for it at a dairy, so I understand the frustration. Maybe supermarkets could open, but leave the clothes, plants and $2 junk for another day?
In many ways I agree with you, but given retailers are not allowed to open, perhaps Landlords of the Retailers premises should not be able to charge rental for the Public Holidays that they are not allowed to open? A Stupid idea I know but sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander!
Add 50c to each item on your menu and then tell everyone 'no surcharge on public holidays'. You would recoop that cash back across the rest of the year for the 11 public holidays across 354 days. You would think landlords would do the same. My sister owns a coffee shop and the stupid tart has not figured that one out yet. I guess 50c on a coffee makes a huge difference so you have to serve a good coffee to justify it. Unfortunately, her business not sell good coffee.
All good.
...but shops closed when they could be earning some dosh and providing others with services is a bit naff don't you think?
Personally, I don't have a problem with it. I think it's good to have a few days a year when we can all take a break from buying stuff, and chill out with friends/family etc. But that has nothing to do with the religious nature of the holiday... I wouldn't be upset if the stat got transferred from Easter Sunday to Waitangi Day for example.
Having said that, I did get caught out on Sunday needing to buy some cheese, and having to pay double for it at a dairy, so I understand the frustration. Maybe supermarkets could open, but leave the clothes, plants and $2 junk for another day?
In many ways I agree with you, but given retailers are not allowed to open, perhaps Landlords of the Retailers premises should not be able to charge rental for the Public Holidays that they are not allowed to open? A Stupid idea I know but sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander!
Add 50c to each item on your menu and then tell everyone 'no surcharge on public holidays'. You would recoop that cash back across the rest of the year for the 11 public holidays across 354 days. You would think landlords would do the same. My sister owns a coffee shop and the stupid tart has not figured that one out yet. I guess 50c on a coffee makes a huge difference so you have to serve a good coffee to justify it. Unfortunately, her business not sell good coffee.
So you're a close family then JV?
My sister is a fruit loop. Dad is ok. I only stick around for my grand kids but they are in Wellington
My sister is a fruit loop. Dad is ok. I only stick around for my grand kids but they are in Wellington
Move down here and you can watch every Nix home game from in the stands!
Add 50c to each item on your menu and then tell everyone 'no surcharge on public holidays'. You would recoop that cash back across the rest of the year for the 11 public holidays across 354 days. You would think landlords would do the same. My sister owns a coffee shop and the stupid tart has not figured that one out yet. I guess 50c on a coffee makes a huge difference so you have to serve a good coffee to justify it. Unfortunately, her business not sell good coffee.
Doesn't even have to be 50c, if your surcharge is 15% then you have to rise your normal prices by just 0.5% all year to cover it. So for a $5 coffee, that makes it $5.03 (adding just 2.5c) vs charging $5.75 just on public holidays.
All good.
...but shops closed when they could be earning some dosh and providing others with services is a bit naff don't you think?
Personally, I don't have a problem with it. I think it's good to have a few days a year when we can all take a break from buying stuff, and chill out with friends/family etc. But that has nothing to do with the religious nature of the holiday... I wouldn't be upset if the stat got transferred from Easter Sunday to Waitangi Day for example.
Having said that, I did get caught out on Sunday needing to buy some cheese, and having to pay double for it at a dairy, so I understand the frustration. Maybe supermarkets could open, but leave the clothes, plants and $2 junk for another day?
In many ways I agree with you, but given retailers are not allowed to open, perhaps Landlords of the Retailers premises should not be able to charge rental for the Public Holidays that they are not allowed to open? A Stupid idea I know but sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander!
Add 50c to each item on your menu and then tell everyone 'no surcharge on public holidays'. You would recoop that cash back across the rest of the year for the 11 public holidays across 354 days. You would think landlords would do the same. My sister owns a coffee shop and the stupid tart has not figured that one out yet. I guess 50c on a coffee makes a huge difference so you have to serve a good coffee to justify it. Unfortunately, her business not sell good coffee.
So you're a close family then JV?
Biffa Bacon >>>>> Bully Beef
My sister is a fruit loop. Dad is ok. I only stick around for my grand kids but they are in Wellington
Move down here and you can watch every Nix home game from in the stands!
My sister is a fruit loop. Dad is ok. I only stick around for my grand kids but they are in Wellington
Move down here and you can watch every Nix home game from in the stands!
For the better training facilities or the shopping?
But down here youd be close to your grandchildren......and the Nix
My sister is a fruit loop. Dad is ok. I only stick around for my grand kids but they are in Wellington
Move down here and you can watch every Nix home game from in the stands!
For the better training facilities or the shopping?
But down here youd be close to your grandchildren......and the Nix
If only you knew. Your background is so very similar....... Although I do get to see the Nix and two of my grandchildren are in our guardianship. Boy and I are watching Jungle Junction as I type this. We may not always agree but I really do have sympathy for your position.
My sister is a fruit loop. Dad is ok. I only stick around for my grand kids but they are in Wellington
Move down here and you can watch every Nix home game from in the stands!
For the better training facilities or the shopping?
Hey, no problem. My mate KyungBlyler can help with that. You'll feel like a $60 million man.
#fromfourthArsenalisonlyonepoint
If only you knew. Your background is so very similar....... Although I do get to see the Nix and two of my grandchildren are in our guardianship. Boy and I are watching Jungle Junction as I type this. We may not always agree but I really do have sympathy for your position.
Then theres Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Doc McStuffin, Stella and Sam, Calimero, Princess Sofi......youseethesame episodesover and overso muchyou can almost mimick them. Ooooops, nearly forgot. Henry Hugglemonster.
Bearing in mind the title of the thread there is a bit to much mates stuff going on here!!
Bearing in mind the title of the thread there is a bit to much mates stuff going on here!!
Does it piss you off that the things that piss you off thread isn't about things that piss you off?
Yep, something's are just best taken off line
You don't speak for anyone vaginaboy.
Now dont lower the thread and make it even more sexual then it has become junior. There are dating sites for such things as you know
Just paid $8 to rent Gatsby...
Fucking Crapsby more like!!!
I kind of enjoyed it. But then I didn't pay anything, so feel like that probably helped.
Perfect example of how Hollywood somehow manage to consistently fuck up awesome pieces of literature.
Just paid $8 to rent Gatsby...
Fucking Crapsby more like!!!
People who pay for stuff at supermarkets using 10c pieces and hold up the entire line as the checkout chick counts out $15 worth of 10c pieces!
Happens all the time... what? WHAT? :)
LOL we do that at places like the Warehouse, but it is generally my daughter (3) spending her pocket money :P
Having to admit that Chelsea outplayed Liverpool last night.
Devastated this morning. Will require a lot of coffee at work to get me through today :-)
Just paid $8 to rent Gatsby...
Fucking Crapsby more like!!!
Saw it on the big screen in 3D, and enjoyed it. I thought that there could have been a few more shootings, car chases and orgies, but I think that about pretty much film since I first watched Vaseline Alley.
Suspect you should have paid the full $20 (or whatever it actually costs to go to the movies these days) to see it at the cinema to fully enjoy it.
Putting a dent on the top tube of my Surly Long Haul Trucker. Yes it's a Chromoly frame so it's not the end of the world but still it is one of those things that piss me off.
Things that start with "ticke" and end with "tek".