AFF Ladies Div 2

We only play 80 minutes because we're weak wimminfolk at a barely-above-social level. I think having to play 90 minutes might be a reason why some of us fear the idea of being promoted. (I think also at Div 1 level you don't get to play rolling subs any more, or maybe that's a higher level.)

This makes me a bit sad.  From the style of play in your report (hoof ball to the SS), 80 mins and rolling subs you could almost be describing junior football for the lower ability teams.

Okay, first thing to mention is according to AFF regulations, all women's football below NRFL Premiership has rolling subs. The second thing to mention is that, as far as training goes, last week was the first time we got to train on the big grown-up ground. The ground which actually has goalposts. The strikers were very happy about this. Once last season a retired keeper from the men's team came by and gave me a few tips which were very helpful, and we may have more of that this season, but mainly I've had to direct my own professional development.

I think actually the good thing about my team is that we don't have a Super Striker (a couple of fast wingers who can knock goals in from a way out, though) so we've had to actually develop ball skills which are unusual for this level. Let's put it this way - I come off my line and I can dive or jump to stop a shot, which are also unusual skills at this level. This is still the level where the "keeper" might very well be whoever turned up last. But many of the girls are happy playing "semi-social". I did think about trying for a club where I could play at a higher level, but then the question is, do you want to fight for a starting spot in Div 1, or be a star for your team in Div 2? Doesn't help for my confidence that my ground kicks are lame at best (although I can punt halfway up the field).

In any case my team might make Div 1 next year. If we do so, undoubtedly some of the girls will consider it too high pressure and prefer to play for the reserve team, but then others who relish a challenge might join up.

Does any of that annoy you?

It is better to train on a ground with goalposts, and specialist keeper training would be great. But on the other side, my team are a great bunch of chicks, and MAP is a small club with a real "family" atmosphere. One downside of more serious women's football is the proliferation of, let's not beat around the bush, players with serious aggression or attitude problems (or to use the technical term "bitches" ), and I'm not sure I'd do well in the environment of a more results-focussed team. Every situation and every team has its positives and annoying factors. To give an example, I don't think I'd like to play for Lower Hutt.Doloras2011-05-23 13:32:50

Mt Albert-Ponsonby 0 - 2 Manukau City

Well, that was depressing. And I borked my thigh. Thankfully my defence played out of their skins and I didn't need to run, or writhe in agony very much, but really those chicks should have been given a free ticket to Div 1.

Mt Albert-Ponsonby 1 - 1 Western Springs

Probably our worst game of the season. Firstly, Anderson was closed and we had to play on Avondale Racecourse, on a field which I think they only just chased the horses off before we got there. We were lethargic, not getting to the ball in time and then not contesting it properly, kicking randomly into space rather than passing. And now I feel guilty, because I think I had a good game. I don't have a good tolerance for mistakes, from myself or others, and that's an issue I've got to work on. The ref didn't help - was pretty much penalising all slide tackles (even accidental ones on this field of mud) and gave out two totally unnecessary yellows, one to each team.

Made some good runs out of the area to clear, seem to have lost the gunshyness I picked up from that red card, and made one good diving save (off a deflection from our sweeper!) However, after their winger just dribbled the ball all the way into the penalty area, I got a hand to her shot but not enough to actually send it over the bar.

No, my team are a good team and they really were trying their best - the dressing room was kind of morgue-like afterwards. On the other hand, imagine how I'd feel if we'd lost.

So that's 2 draws, one loss, and 2 games postponed from the first round. I think that leaves us first or second on the table. Next game: Tuakau at home.Doloras2011-06-12 15:07:41

Mt Albert-Ponsonby 4 - 0 Tuakau

Jeebus wept, that weather was HIDEOUS. I was having to run around and shout just to keep myself warm in the second half. And by "hideous", I mean "a pretty average weekend in Wellington", but up in JAFAland we're a bunch of softies. It was even worse because, especially in the second half, I didn't have jack-all to do. Tuakau broke our defence a few times but then could only manage gentle passes along the ground right into my hands.

So, Tuakau came to play and they were serious about it, and there were a couple of nervous moments early on owing to us being short a couple of defenders and having to play some mids out of position. But the girls worked well in the mud-tacular conditions, and eventually the goals came - including two penalties, one for handball in the box and one for the keeper taking out a striker with a tackle which was easily as bad as the one I inflicted against Papatoetoe, but only drawing a yellow.

(On this subject, the last four games we've played there have been four yellow cards, one for us and three for the opposition, which is three more than I've ever encountered in my whole time playing football in Auckland. What has happened? Has AFF issued all refs with shiny new cards and told them to use them or lose them? It didn't help that the rather male left insisted on coming into our changing room after the game to get us to sign the team card. He got the door slammed into his face for his trouble.)

Still top of the table, one point ahead of Beachlands who have a game in hand. Next week, away to Ellerslie.

Div 2: Mt Albert 0 - 2 Onehunga Sports
Div 4: Mt Albert 1 - 1 Western Springs

Kept in both games, and am therefore too stuffed to give a proper report just now.

Shame your game against Manurewa was postponed. I was appointed to referee it!

There have been altogether too many postponements this year. Where are we, Wellington?

Papatoetoe 0 - Mt Albert-Ponsonby 0

Gaaah. We should have won that game. We were all over them - stringing pass after pass together, going right round their static defence (except when they pushed us in the back or headbutted us!)... and then not being able to get a shot in. Their goalie at least got a bit of a workout. I got bugger-all to do, apart from collecting a few long balls. In fact, that's all the other team were doing all day - long ball after long ball. It was slightly more effective in the second half when they had a strong wind at their backs. But the wind was probably my worst enemy. It was very cold and I had virtually nothing to do, so staving off hypothermia was my big mission.

At least I didn't get sent off this game - however, in the last 5 seconds of the game, one of our wingers did for swearing at another player. We were told that in women's football there is absolutely zero tolerance, no warning, straight red, for the F-word. Even the Papatoetoe girls thought that was crap. He'd better not put that card through or we'll fight it.

..and if, as you've just said, she was sent off for swearing at another player, I'd be very surprised if you won that fight!

The "zero tolerance" thing in women's football is a new one on me. I must have missed that meeting.Jag2011-07-24 20:08:36

As it turned out, the ref didn't put the card through, which meant our fast winger was available for...

Mt Albert Ponsonby 2 - 1 Waiheke

HOLY CRAP THAT WAS A GAME OF FOOTBALL.

The day didn't start well when we were shifted off our usual ground, and at the council-operated replacement ground, they'd forgotten to unlock the changing rooms. Very embarrassing for us in front of the Waiheke ladies who had to venture o'er the briny deep to come and play for us, to have to get changed in the carpark.

But it was embarrassing for us when we played like absolute drains for the first 60 minutes. Last time we played, we were top and they were bottom of the division; we've dropped a couple of places and they've risen a couple. And today our backline didn't know what the hell they were doing for the first part of the game - very little calling or marking, just confusion. So I wasn't surprised when their striker just ran through us after five minutes. I dived to stop the initial shot but her mate coolly slotted the rebound. 0-1, boilover on the cards.

We kind of got our act together after that, but the score was identical at half-time. Coach gave us the hard word to sort out our marking and don't let the high balls bounce over our heads. The big issue was that Waiheke's strikers were not tracking back - which means they were able to run straight through us if they got a through ball, but if we put a through ball through they would be screwed. (And I was told to be more, er "assertive" with claiming the ball in our area. I was pulling out of a lot of runs for fear of running into our backline, what with our communication issues.)

We started the second half much better - competing for the ball in the air more solidly, and trying to work the through balls. And it paid off, with two scrambled goals which came from sheer pressure on the opposition - one a sweet header when our striker was left unmarked in front of goal, and one a nice little chip from a keeper fumble. (In fairness, the Waiheke keeper was playing with only one glove due to a kit stuff-up on her side. She actually did very well.)

So, we're 2-1 up with 10 minutes to go, and Waiheke are pulling out all the stops. Through ball after through ball, it seems that every 30 seconds I'm having to rush to the edge of the box or occasionally out of it to gather and/or clear, and I'm getting quite puffed. Now I should mention that on the right wing they have a fantastic tough player, who has been skinning our usually rock-solid left back all day long. With about 2 minutes to go, our left back comes off worse in one of those altercations and has to go off. She's replaced by a midfielder...

ME: "Oi! Stick to that girl like glue, she's pretty tricky."
OUR MAKESHIFT LEFT BACK: "Yeah, yeah".

30 seconds after this, our makeshift left back is totally and completely beaten, and their right wing is dribbling the ball unopposed into the box, with only me to beat. My gut instinct is to run up to her and stand my ground  - this proves correct. She attempts to nutmeg me, but it just rebounds off my shinpads and straight back at her. Then she chips me. I've already turned to retreat, and as I see the ball going towards the net I think "yeah, I can get that". So I just put my head down, sprint, dive...

... and claw the ball back 2 inches short of the goal. Our centreback puts it over the line for a corner. She starts congratulating me on my save but I yell at her to get ready for the corner. As it turns out, the corner goes safely out to the edge of the box where we clear. The ref blows his whistle.

Yeah, so I'll be dining out on that save for a little while. The Waiheke girls are justly gutted with coming so close to taking a point off us, and are very kind with their praise. I think one girl said she should be kissing my hand for luck.

So anyway in our division, before this game - Manukau on 27 points, Beachlands on 25, and three teams (including us) on 24 points. Then it's all the way back to 12 points. We're playing Beachlands next week, so you can see how this is a pretty vital game. We beat them at home in the first round, Waiheke beat them last week, so we know it is at least possible.

In other games from the weekend, Manukau and Beachlands drew, OneSports won and Three Kings lost. So that leaves the top of the table: Manukau 28, OneSports and MAP 27, Beachlands 26, Three Kings 24. Woooo.Doloras2011-08-01 12:10:25

Junior822011-08-02 10:04:43

My teammates have been known to make politically incorrect comments about opposing team players being "angry lesbians", but I don't think anyone's got any problem with friendly ones.

Beachlands 2 - 0 Mt Albert Ponsonby

*sigh* Well, we were just outplayed today. But part of the issue was the wind. It was blowing a gale right down the pitch, and we played into it for the first half. It was so insane that one of my clearances actually turned 180 degrees in the air and went back behind me for a corner. It didn't help that two of the lynchpins of our backline were away, and our makeshift backs hadn't worked out how to communicate with each other - which is where both of their goals came from, just miscommunication leading to a break through our lines and then slotting it cooly past me along the ground.

The second half was much more even - we had one come off the post and one volley which was kind of like Sean Lovemore's against Uruguay (our winger was suitably ashamed of herself for missing that one!) But I got my share of the action. They had an absoutely dynamite dead-ball taker - I sh*t you not, she could have been taking the kicks for a men's team - and only a couple of insane reflex saves from me kept us in the game. I'm quite proud of my instincts - the ball was rebounding off my outstretched hand to safety before my brain even registered it was coming.

"We - are - going - up. Say we are going up."

Manukau City 3 - 0 Mt Albert-Ponsonby

Let us never speak of that match again. Oh, all right. Our ladies had a good passing game, but they just let these fast South Auckland ladies (some of whom are past NZ representatives) go right through them.

One good thing is that my kicks from the ground are usually pretty shocking, but our dead-ball specialist left back was away today, so I had to take my own clearances and I did surprisingly well. At least twice I was left on the ground scrambling around the striker's legs to get control of the ball. I kept the ball both times.

MCAFC's clubrooms are pretty disgusting, but it's good to have a nice South Auckland feed (steak, chips and pies!) afterwards.

How many more games to go before the end of the season? Has 3 Kings overtaken you yet?

Two games - 3 Kings at home and Western Springs away, and I think maybe one catch-up/postponement game after that. Last I looked we were 4th and 3K were 5th. We finished 4th last season so I would at least hope to match that.

(The Springs game, although they're near the bottom of the table, will be tough as about half our team are going to be away at a wedding. Our reserves will have finished their season, though, so we might be able to draft them in to fill the gap.)

In a funny way, though, I kind of get some satisfaction out of the games where we get monstered because at least I get tested and challenged. I think the last Manukau goal might have been my fault for not coming off my line quick enough to a corner, but I would never have to do that in an average standard Div 2 game.

Mt Albert Ponsonby 2 -1 Three Kings

EPIC GAME. A massively hard victory over one of the best teams in the league.

The day did not get off to a good start when we opened up the clubrooms to find out that no-one had done the least bit of tidying after last night's party celebrating the men's 1st team winning their league. It was pretty rank. Also pretty rank was conceding an own goal less than 10 minutes into the game. The girls were just asleep to start with (those who hadn't been at the promotion party had mainly been at a hen's night), and the tall, fit, strong girls from 3Kings were just dribbling it through us. Our left back did well to get a foot in the way of a dynamite cross... only to put it straight past me. Let the record state that, when I was retrieving the ball and sending it to half way, I didn't mean to just about hit her in the head with it.

But after that we woke up good. They had a couple of very fit and fast players - one centre-mid who could dribble the ball all the way down the field, and super fast girls on both wings - but past that, once we settled down and kept the ball on the deck, our natural passing game put us back into it. My opposite number was having a fine game in goal and stopped some great shots. But her big problem - and I actually heard her yelling about it - was that her defence was even allowing those shots to come on. So it was no surprise when near the end of the half we got the equaliser from about the hundredth cross we'd sent across the face of goal and the first one that had someone on the other end.

We felt good about ourselves after the first half, and thankfully were able to keep playing that way. We finally pulled ahead when one of our mids was allowed to get a long, high shot away from about 30m out. It just cleared their keeper. I felt sorry for her.

After that, the extremely disciplined and tough 3Kings team threw everything they had at us to try to snatch a point back. It was pretty terrifying. Excellent through ball after excellent through ball, most of which meant I had to run out of my box if only to cover. A couple of miscommunications with my backs thankfully went unpunished. Even closer to the end of the game, our right wing got into some argy-bargy with their left wing and there were mutual recriminations about who started it. Both sides were lucky the ref wasn't in a card-giving mood.

Their excellent right-wing forward ended up in a pretty meaty collision with me near the end of the game. I've noticed something about physical teams like 3Kings - they seem to run into me a lot because I'm very good at stopping dead just after I've got the ball and letting them come to grief on my shoulder. Although this time I was almost winded as badly as she was. Great strong challenge there. At least once more I picked up the ball right from the opposing striker's feet. And in the last minute of the game they sent a high through ball which was dropping just outside my area with no defenders around. Luckily I was able to get in front of it, turn, and run back to catch it inside my area.

I was very happy to hear that final whistle, but I was very chastened to see how pissed off their keeper was. She'd had a great game and, if she felt her defence had let her down letting our markswomen get long shots off, then I would have to agree with her.

Next week: Western Springs, with half our team missing, but our coach has promised "ring-ins for Africa". Might even get my partner's sister along. That'll be funny.

Great report D (although gutted to hear about the partner). Junior822011-08-23 17:44:44

Depends on what Onehunga and Beachlands do in their last couple of games. We're probably still 4th if they both win.

Pasta time! (worked for Arsene)

Western Springs 2 - 0 MAP

Well, that was totally depressing. Six players away at a wedding - we had some pretty damn good ring-ins (including a dynamite deaf striker), but there was no communication for the first 15 minutes, everyone was asleep, and once we'd woken up they were already two goals up after running straight through our backline. For the rest of the game we were definitely the better side, but we can't do any damn thing in front of goal. We pass and pass right through their midfield, then we're in the box and... we pass again, in a good scoring shot. It's a confidence issue.

Lovely spring day in Auckland, and quite frankly I was miffed to hear some teammates complaining about the "heat". I play Gaelic football on the same ground over summer. Imagine that, 3pm on a February afternoon in Auckland, 25 degrees and humid as all get-out, and you have to put ice down your bra and have people running on with drinks like it was an AFL game. I should stop at this point because I'm sounding like one of the Four Yorkshiremen.

Last game next week - Lynn-Avon at home.
Doloras2011-08-28 16:05:31

Ellerslie 2 - 0 MAP

Well, that was a terrible depressing and borderline violent way to end the season. How could the Ellerslie striker accuse me of being a "total psycho" when she was the one kicking me in the head when I was lying on the ground on top of the ball?

Going down to play an end-of-season tourney in Tauranga the same weekend the A-League starts. Apparently we're all getting dressed up as Amy Winehouse, I sh*t you not. 

What, you're all going as decaying, worm-infested corpses?

Greerton Tournament, eh? I've got a wicked idea for you, well in keeping with your theme!

OOH OOH OOH I BAGS BEING IN THE COFFIN

Well, we made the round of 12 before being knocked out with a 1-1 draw and a 1-0 loss, both to teams who play 2 divisions above us. The 1-1 draw (against a team who didn't even turn up in costume, which rankled) was especially hilarious because they were obviously chucking a sad at not beating us by about five goals. The 1-0 loss to a team who were dressed as cows was much more fun. Their striker was an absolute gun and I was proud she only got one past me. I made a lovely diving save in the last minute, if I do say so myself.

I played every minute of every game, the best part being when I got to play at striker for half a game. I set up an excellent goal which was disallowed for bogus offside by a ref who I swear must have been 11 years old. The best costume was the team of nuns from Orewa, although the team of Oompa-Loompas (with their coach dressed as Willy Wonka) put in the most effort.

The real question - did you all dress up as Amy Winehouse and drink and take drugs?

Yes to the first two, "no comment" to the last. We could have won more on the first day if the beers hadn't come out at lunchtime.