What referees in Wellington need to face up to is that there is a perception of a lack of openness. A closing of the ranks any time a question is asked.
Club's right now do ask questions - and they do get answers. Central League teams file referee feedback on every game. I understand olympic supplied the (non public youtube) video to the Wellington Ref's with a 'please explain'. They got an answer.
My view is that it demonstrated one of the banes of the Referee's life; poor understanding of the laws from spectators, players and team officials.
I agree game video could be an aid, but not with a fixed pool of assessor resources. Video would increase the assessor burden, which would probably mean less assessments of match officials over time, and video is not infallible either- the simple fact is that referee positioning and the reading of play is one of the most important skills to develop. The simple fact is that the detail of an incident is often masked to the camera, and that they are no silver bullet.
A referee must rule on what they, or there assistants can see in play. (TBH, i'd rather we spent the money on more/better comms sets that videoing).
I'm sure there are terrible referee's out there who harbour grudges and the like - I've not had the misfortunet of working with one - they are mostly people acting with intergrity, doing something they love, and would just like a thank you, rather than a slagging off.
As the old adage goes- a striker will miss 10 chances, convert 1, and be a hero. A referee makes 10 great calls, and misses one, and they are corrupt villain.