Its an interesting conversation.
Are we talking about every case here or the anomaly? I suspect it's the anomaly and while guys in Cap 5 might think the referee is a bit shit, he is at that level for a reason....much like the players are.... so the balances of skill levels are well matched.
Invariably though to address the point you raise about not being able to question or comment on refereeing decisions it's never just a query of a referees decision cause I've never seen any player go 'oh well actually ref you were right, best I bugger off'. It always goes further so you kinda have to draw the line at 'No, you can't question it'. I guess its the same for teachers and police. You occasionally get bad ones but on the whole, most know what they are doing and you kinda have to take what they say as gospel whether you like it or not because once you get into the questioning state, you start a little bit of chaos.
I might also add that from my armchair, remote and mysky, I'm one of the best referees and reviews that ever lived but its interesting to note how many commentators view an incident live and think the referee has had a howler only to see the replay and go 'um well actually'. The same would happen in a game many a time. I think once you start a process whereby you can question a referees decision then where/when does it stop? Look at the farce of cricket because umpires in that sport are no more than just jumper holders now so whats the point? Then again, there is always Ben Williams so.....
I'd take 2-3 referee errors (and I'm talking minor stuff like getting a throw in the wrong way) over some players whom over the course of 20 passes, fuck up 10 of them... Did someone mention Tim Payne last Friday night?