Some fantastic work there AW82. Here is my season preview with a betting option attached
MPL 2k17 Season Preview
Ca$hed up Tech
The modern day anti Robin Hood's have done it again. Stealing from the poor (Western) and giving to the rich (themselves)...once again making a mockery of the competition. They did lose two strikers from last year, Pinky to Bay$ and the beefed up Brain overseas, but the chequebook has been opened to cover those losses. Rumours are circulating that "The Puppeteer" Andrew Barton has cut his strings and will not be playing but lets all pray we get to see the short, round and 300pound man rolling up and down the wing.
Number of spectators Gary Ogilvie kicks this year
Over/under 1.5
Northern Republic of Nelson
After losing all their quality local players to the big money of the Central League Nelson have decided to import even more Irishmen into this country and will be praying they don't celebrate St.Paddy's too hard with a big opening game on tomorrow. Will be extremely reliant on the twin towers up top which even President Bush would struggle to topple.
Number of local born players that start over 10 games
Over/under 1.5
United Nations of Coa$tal $pirit
The Me$$iah has decided if you can't beat Tech...Or even get close to them...Then be them. All corners of the globe have been scoured to field a team capable of competing in a supposed amateur league in little old Christchurch. It is my understanding that as many as 7 translators will be in the changing room on Saturday to relay the team talk to all the foreigners...and to those with an IQ of sub 40 i.e. Matt Carruthers
Number of trophies Coa$tal will win
Over/under 0.5
Ferrymad Bay$
The best thing about a Ferrymead fixture is the two old coozers screaming witty...ish abuse from the sideline. Perhaps this season they might have more to cheer about week in and week out as Senior Halligan has gone on an extensive recruiting mission, filling many a brown envelope with wads of ca$h to ensure more squad depth than ever before.
How many pillows will Andy 'Tuck it away' Tuckey use on the bench
Over/under 1.5
Football Club 20-11
One of the worst named football clubs in the world will look to do exactly the same as last season as the reigning Coach of the year knows that 5th spot might not secure you any Europa league football but it does get you an individual trophy and really that is all that matters.
How many times will Glenn Lapslie kneel on the sideline
Over/Under 10,000
Uni
Big shoes to fill up front...will they fill them? Who knows...and who really cares. Will be in a dogfight near the bottom.
How many games will be moved off Ilam Fields
Over/under 3.5
Westside
Could this finally be the year the thugs from Westside finally go down? Again who knows...and who really cares. Could be in a dogfight near the bottom.
Number of times Alby is sent from the ground
Over/under 1.5
Nomad
The team with the worst kit in world Football is now back in the big show with some big name reinforcements. I'm not sure but for some reason I can sense them playing a looooot of looooooong and direct football. Will be very hard to beat if they ever get to play back on the Tullet bog.
Dom McGarr's current playing weight
Over/under 109.5kg
Tullet Park currently under a major rework by the Council so likely to be out of action for most if not all of the season, set down to play at English Park in the meantime.