Premier League Ugly XI
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Carlos Tevez is Lou Ferringo as The Incredible Hulk, and as for the
neck, I hear he shaves with a cheese grater.
Stig Tofting, I forgot about him. Rumour has it he was fed by
catapult. He also had gang connections, making him a sort of Danish
Grant Turner.
Why is everyone so worked up over who they think is the ugliest
players, who cares as long as they're good........
Why is everyone so worked up over who they think is the ugliest
players, who cares as long as they're good........
That`s why i never made it in football!
sanday2007-05-29 09:06:35
Premier League Ugly XI
1Ed De Goye
2.Gary Neville
3.Abel Xavier
4.Martin Keown
5.Luke Chadwick (c)
6.Serbastian Veron
7.Ray Parlour
8.Matt Le Tissier
9.Peter Beardsley
10.Peter Crouch
11.Shrek Rooney
Manager. Ian Dowie
Some omissions concern me. I'd have Joleon Lescott in there without
a doubt, probably in place of Gary Neville, who, agreed, is
repugnant but perhaps not as much as his brother, Phil Neville, who
I'd play in the middle in place of Seba Veron. Veron wasn't so much
ugly, but just plain weird looking. Can I also respectfully suggest
that Neville Neville (for, that, dear people, is their father's
name) should have investigated birth control measures with a little
more diligence than he did.
Robbie Fowler might be worth a spot too, if just for his
pasta-shell ears, but it would be difficult to displace the forward
line you have named.
Speaking of which, notice how Le Tiss, Beardsley and Crouch
all have that hang-dog mouth, the sort favoured by Down's Syndrome
sufferers and people in the midsts of torture. In fact, Phil
Neville sports the same look. Obviously it's en vogue among
footballers, up there with wide tie-knots and oh-so rebellious
forearm tattoos.
Your comments are all quite reasonable however the fact that I am a
one eyed Evertonian helped me overlook Lescott and Phil Nev. I
couldnt be as bold with Beardsley as he really, really is an ugly
M.F.
No mention of Carlos Tevez? Unfortunate scarring on his neck, and
saw an interview with him on Premiership Preview the other day,
looked like the missing link.
Carlos Tevez is Lou Ferringo as The Incredible Hulk, and as for the
neck, I hear he shaves with a cheese grater.
Beardsley looks like Richard Burton's Richard The Second, only
with a worse barber.
I forgot Tevez, He would rival Chadwick as captian.
And I would have Glenn Roeder as manager.
Hey, ya gotta have Tevez in there! As a member of the fairer
sex, I viewed a pic of him on BBC Online football and not only was
he ugly he looked maniacal to boot! Excuse the pun!
Just remembered, Lloyd Doyley of Watford, face like a blind
cobblers thumb and a sh*t player to boot.
ivan campo ??
Surely a place in the side for:
Mart Poom
Jonathon Woodgate
Paul Scholes
Craig Bellamy
Richard Wright ?
John Terry straight after being booted in the face is your
captain.
Ivan Campo definitely, what about for all over the world? for me
additions would be Frank Ribery, Ronaldinho and Ronaldo.
Here is a humourous video of the Chelsea players when asked who is
the best looking in their squad....
Check out Ashley Coles answer - modest?
What about Gianfranco Zola - he was always a bit of a looker ;)
Or Ruud van Horseface
I also forgot that handsome man Frank Leboeuf
Ian Dowie has to be manager - one ugly bastard!
Tony Adams. How could we have forgotten him??
-EDWIN VAN DER SAR
-MARTIN KEOWN (if you look closely<not too close as you may puke>but closely, you will see a striking resemblance to a brontosaurus).
-RAY PARLOUR (have you heard him laugh? sounds like a 2year old girl)
-ALVARO RECOBA (refer to Senegal vs Uruguay in the 2002 world cup when he scores a penalty and watch the blundering oaf try to kick the ball back to halfway so the restart can be taken quickly but inadvertently hit another player).
-RONALDO (an eyesore, enough said)
-SHREK ROONEY (when he screws up his face to shout at someone he resembles a thumb).
-FRANK LEBOUF
-PETER CROUCH (truly repulsive)
-RUUD VAN NISTELROOY
-IVAN CAMPO (somebody give that man a trim)
-EL HADJI DIOUF (I quiver just thinking the name)
COACHING STAFF:
IAIN DOWIE & HARRY REDKNAPP co-coaches
-MARTIN KEOWN (if you look closely<not too close as you may puke>but closely, you will see a striking resemblance to a brontosaurus).
-RAY PARLOUR (have you heard him laugh? sounds like a 2year old girl)
-ALVARO RECOBA (refer to Senegal vs Uruguay in the 2002 world cup when he scores a penalty and watch the blundering oaf try to kick the ball back to halfway so the restart can be taken quickly but inadvertently hit another player).
-RONALDO (an eyesore, enough said)
-SHREK ROONEY (when he screws up his face to shout at someone he resembles a thumb).
-FRANK LEBOUF
-PETER CROUCH (truly repulsive)
-RUUD VAN NISTELROOY
-IVAN CAMPO (somebody give that man a trim)
-EL HADJI DIOUF (I quiver just thinking the name)
COACHING STAFF:
IAIN DOWIE & HARRY REDKNAPP co-coaches
I'm sorry, how could I forget to add Dirk Kuyt and Vladimir
Beschastnykh (played for Russia in 2002 world cup. Lol, Liverpool
have the most repugnant strikers:Peter Crouch, Dirk Kuyt, can't
think of any others but I am sure there are some more.
Hope Robbie Earnshaw don't score against us next week. An ugly celebration from an ugly twat.
Gareth Southgate for Manager
Ah, yes, Robert Earnshaw, not a pleasant looking man. And, indeed,
Gareth Southgate. How come ever never seemed so ugly when he was
playing? Weird...
Also, how about Cuatemoc Blanco. Ex Mexico, now plying his
trade (and scaring little kids) in the MLS. He of the rabbit hop
with the ball between his feet.
Stig Tofting, Andy O'Brien, Dean Kiely, Matias Svensson, Carlos
Marinelli...
Stig Tofting, I forgot about him. Rumour has it he was fed by
catapult. He also had gang connections, making him a sort of Danish
Grant Turner.
Claus Jenson
Ginga boy Hayden Mullins
He went to prison for a while for assault a few years back. I
remember the classic call from one of the commentators during the
2002 World Cup who described him and Gravesen in the middle of the
park as "nightclub bouncers"
Crouch the freak.
Jimmy Bullard should be in there.
Why is everyone so worked up over who they think is the ugliest
players, who cares as long as they're good........
It gives us all a chuckle.
Ugliness is an excellent gauge of technical prowess/deficiency
and global tactical awareness. You've obviously never read
Nietzsche or Freud.
And besides, you read this thread, meaning that you are
obviously interested in the subject...
Robert Huth should be up there too
Ugliness is an excellent gauge of technical prowess/deficiency
and global tactical awareness. You've obviously never read
Nietzsche or Freud.
And besides, you read this thread, meaning that you are
obviously interested in the subject...
I
was hoping noone said that........................
Come on people, keep adding to this thread, it is a great laugh.
"Ugliness is an excellent gauge of technical
prowess/deficiency and global tactical awareness. You've obviously
never read Nietzsche or Freud."
sanday2007-05-29 09:06:35