Someone has read my peice. Please note the time I posted it and now this appears at 5am this morning...
Smith: Sheep mascot for Fifa under-20 World Cup is baa-low the belt
TONY SMITH
Last updated 05:00, December 2 2014
OPINION:
What the bleep, a freaking sheep? Ewe must be trying to pull the wool over our eyes.
If opposition fans suddenly start waving inflatable sheep at West Ham's Winston Reid, then the Fifa under-20 World Cup football tournament organisers are to blame.
Whatever induced them to select a cloven-footed cove called Wooliam as their mascot for Fifa's second largest tournament, to be held in New Zealand from May 30 to June 20?
Was Fred Dagg not available?
It took the Australians roughly six nanoseconds to start baa-sking in our inglory. The Sydney Morning Herald gleefully posted some mickey-taking mischief from AAP about "a black sheep who goes by the name of Wooliam - which some could argue is how Kiwis pronounce William."
Their jibe followed a Sunday evening tweet from Australian sports columnist Richard Hinds, who was clearly in despair, at the Wellington Phoenix's 5-1 flogging of his beloved Melbourne Heart. "This is so bad not even a Kiwi commentator saying @MelbourneCity are at 'sixes and sevens' can cheer me up."
Australians like nothing better than winding Kiwis up. Sheep jokes have been tripping from their lips for 150 years, often in ignorance of the incontrovertible evidence around sheep numbers on either side of the Tasman. Australia has 85 million at last count, we have a mere 30 million - still a mass of merinos in anybody's language.
Did the Fifa under-20 tournament local organising committee have to perpetuate the cruel stereotype? They should be feeling a little sheepish.
Yet committe chief executive Dave Beeche said: "We appreciate that around the globe, New Zealand is associated with sheep, so we thought why not embrace that, but add an extra twist by making him the coolest black sheep ever - a young Kiwi with cheek and attitude?"
Granted, our four-legged friends do have footballing form. The all-conquering Christchurch United national league team in the 1970s were nicknamed the Rams before the Canterbury basketball franchise swiped the sobriquet.
Then there was Fred, the football playing ram, from Southland who became social media clickbait last October when video footage was posted of his heading prowess.
Kyle McLellan, 11, and brother Sam, 7, were playing football in their Makarewa backyard when they discovered Fred's hitherto-hidden skill.
"We kicked the ball over the fence into the paddock and he headbutted it back," Kyle told the Southland Times.
Selecting a sheep as a Kiwi sporting mascot amounts to a failure of imagination. Surely, New Zealand is known now for more indigenous fauna. Couldn't we have had a kiwi, a kea or a kakapo, or any endangered species?
It isn't too late. There's still six months to go till kickoff. Poor Wooliam could be crated up and marched off to the works so an altogether more appropriate icon could be pressed into service.
But at least it's allowed the tournament some time in the spotlight, if not to hog it.
- The Press