Dave came home from the pub
late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did with the
yellow fever lads, and crept into bed beside his wife who was
already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell
asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing
at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white
Robe.
'Who the hell are you?' demanded Dave, 'and
what are you doing in my bedroom?'
The mysterious man answered 'This isn't your
bedroom and I'm St Peter.'
Dave was stunned 'You mean I'm dead!?!! That
can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my
family or my yellow fever mates. . . you've got to send me back
straight away.'
St Peter replied 'Yes, you can be
reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a
dog or a hen.'
Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a
farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A
flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around
pecking the ground.
'This ain't so bad' he thought until he felt
this strange feeling welling up inside
him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said
'So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day
here?'
'It's not so bad' replies Dave, 'but I
have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to
explode.'
'You're ovulating' explained the rooster,
'don't tell me you've never laid an egg
before?'
'Never!' replies
Dave.
'Well just relax and let it
happen'
So he did and after a few uncomfortable
seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense
feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of
him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid
his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he
knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever
happened to him . . . Ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about
to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his
head and heard his wife shouting...
Queenslander 3x a year.