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The free-for-all Pundemonium Thread

1764 replies · 136,423 views
about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
The free-for-all Pundemonium Thread

Apparently I'm apathetic, but I couldn't care less.

"Being a Partick Thistle fan sets you apart. It means youre a free thinker. It also means your team has no money." Tim Luckhurst, The Independent, 4th December 2003

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Due to the roaring success of the punfest in the Transfer Conjecture thread, and the fact that we were starting to piss people off. Why not get rid of all your bad puns in this thread. Just bring a subject up and then it's every man, woman and child for themselves. When the puns start to dry up, start a new subject and off we go again..........


See Steven O'Dor is leaving us to study law. Personally I think all that time on the bench has affected his judgement...
Jag2008-01-18 15:09:17

Apparently I'm apathetic, but I couldn't care less.

"Being a Partick Thistle fan sets you apart. It means youre a free thinker. It also means your team has no money." Tim Luckhurst, The Independent, 4th December 2003

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
A Degree will certainly open a few O'Dors... C-Diddy2008-01-17 22:49:04

"Ive just re-visited this and once again realised that C-Diddy is a genius - a drunk, Newcastle bred disgrace - but a genius." - Hard News, 11:39am 4th June 2009

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
...although this will have arrested his football development...

Apparently I'm apathetic, but I couldn't care less.

"Being a Partick Thistle fan sets you apart. It means youre a free thinker. It also means your team has no money." Tim Luckhurst, The Independent, 4th December 2003

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
...hopefully the Phoenix won't get court out at the back...

"Ive just re-visited this and once again realised that C-Diddy is a genius - a drunk, Newcastle bred disgrace - but a genius." - Hard News, 11:39am 4th June 2009

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Jesus you guys, your "puns" are criminal!
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
..should we be writing these in long sentences.....if we don't put a full stop at the end, does that make it a suspended sentence?

Apparently I'm apathetic, but I couldn't care less.

"Being a Partick Thistle fan sets you apart. It means youre a free thinker. It also means your team has no money." Tim Luckhurst, The Independent, 4th December 2003

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
The Defence rests!

"Ive just re-visited this and once again realised that C-Diddy is a genius - a drunk, Newcastle bred disgrace - but a genius." - Hard News, 11:39am 4th June 2009

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Lonegunmen wrote:
Jesus you guys, your "puns" are criminal!
 
You're a pretty good Judge LG! The Jury is still out on Jag though...
C-Diddy2008-01-17 22:59:51

"Ive just re-visited this and once again realised that C-Diddy is a genius - a drunk, Newcastle bred disgrace - but a genius." - Hard News, 11:39am 4th June 2009

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
I wonder if O'Dors favourite singer is Ian Jury? (Drury)
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Lonegunmen wrote:
I wonder if O'Dors favourite singer is Ian Jury? (Drury)
 
You sure you don't mean Ian Jury and the Lochheads???

"Ive just re-visited this and once again realised that C-Diddy is a genius - a drunk, Newcastle bred disgrace - but a genius." - Hard News, 11:39am 4th June 2009

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Bit hasty with your verdict there, C-D. 

I think he's a big fan of Judge Dread, LG.

Apparently I'm apathetic, but I couldn't care less.

"Being a Partick Thistle fan sets you apart. It means youre a free thinker. It also means your team has no money." Tim Luckhurst, The Independent, 4th December 2003

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

Are this many puns on one website legal?

"Ive just re-visited this and once again realised that C-Diddy is a genius - a drunk, Newcastle bred disgrace - but a genius." - Hard News, 11:39am 4th June 2009

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
C-Diddy wrote:
Lonegunmen wrote:
I wonder if O'Dors favourite singer is Ian Jury? (Drury)
 
You sure you don't mean Ian Jury and the Lochheads???
 
 
Although not in line with O'Dor, here a bad pun for you....
 

A guy gets shipwrecked. When he wakes up, he's on a beach. The sand is dark red. He can't believe it. The sky is dark red. He walks around a bit and sees that there is dark red grass, dark red birds and dark red fruit on the dark red trees. He's shocked when he finds that his skin is starting to turn dark red too.

"Oh no!!" he says, "I think I've been marooned!!"

Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Saw a big bird bird throwing up in my garden today. Must have been an ill-eagle.......

Apparently I'm apathetic, but I couldn't care less.

"Being a Partick Thistle fan sets you apart. It means youre a free thinker. It also means your team has no money." Tim Luckhurst, The Independent, 4th December 2003

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Puns of all standards are allowed here by the look of it
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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

An old sea captain was sitting on a bench near the wharf when a young man walked up and sat down. The young man had spiked hair and each spike was a different color.... green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.

After a while the young man noticed that the captain was staring at him. "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?

The old captain replied, "Got drunk once and married a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son!"

Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
You got me hook, line and sinker with that one, LG. Sailing pretty close to the wind tho, getting perilously close to a joke that was. Not sure we want any jokes in here Might have to police this thread quite carefully!
Jag2008-01-17 23:13:42

Apparently I'm apathetic, but I couldn't care less.

"Being a Partick Thistle fan sets you apart. It means youre a free thinker. It also means your team has no money." Tim Luckhurst, The Independent, 4th December 2003

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

An old sailor goes to a brothel, where he chooses his girl and begins.

"How am I doing?" he asks.

"Three knots," she replies.

"Three knots? What's that mean?"

"You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back."

Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Some very cagey puns here indeed!

"Ive just re-visited this and once again realised that C-Diddy is a genius - a drunk, Newcastle bred disgrace - but a genius." - Hard News, 11:39am 4th June 2009

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
yep, was on a website that had nauticals jokes. I'll get me coat and head off to sea!
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
I'll bet a few people will be happy that the punning has been shipped out of the Phoenix section before the Mods took the wind out of our sails by shutting it down

Apparently I'm apathetic, but I couldn't care less.

"Being a Partick Thistle fan sets you apart. It means youre a free thinker. It also means your team has no money." Tim Luckhurst, The Independent, 4th December 2003

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Laughter, just what the Dockter ordered
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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Nothing fishy going on here...

Apparently I'm apathetic, but I couldn't care less.

"Being a Partick Thistle fan sets you apart. It means youre a free thinker. It also means your team has no money." Tim Luckhurst, The Independent, 4th December 2003

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
well, I might just go and wharf down a sandwich!
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Jag wrote:
You got me hook, line and sinker with that one, LG. Sailing pretty close to the wind tho, getting perilously close to a joke that was. Not sure we want any jokes in here Might have to police this thread quite carefully!
 
Don't want to get on the wrong side of the law now do we LG?
 

"Ive just re-visited this and once again realised that C-Diddy is a genius - a drunk, Newcastle bred disgrace - but a genius." - Hard News, 11:39am 4th June 2009

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Lets not stop now though, no time for arrest
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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them.

He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.

The man says "I�m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, �Guess who?�"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I�m a divorce lawyer."
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Oops, might have to disappear for a minute. My cellphone's ringing....

Apparently I'm apathetic, but I couldn't care less.

"Being a Partick Thistle fan sets you apart. It means youre a free thinker. It also means your team has no money." Tim Luckhurst, The Independent, 4th December 2003

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Why don't snakes bite attorneys? Professional courtesy.
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
From what I detect, Ive got a feeling that this could go on and on and on and on.....
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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? How many can you afford?
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
The National Institutes of Health have announced that they will no longer be using rats for medical experimentation. In their place, they will use attorneys. They have given three reasons for this decision: 1. There are now more attorneys than there are rats. 2. The medical researchers don't become as emotionally attached to the attorneys as they did to the rats. 3. No matter how hard you try, there are some things that rats won't do.
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
hepatitis wrote:
From what I detect, Ive got a feeling that this could go on and on and on and on.....


No sh*t, Sherlock!

Apparently I'm apathetic, but I couldn't care less.

"Being a Partick Thistle fan sets you apart. It means youre a free thinker. It also means your team has no money." Tim Luckhurst, The Independent, 4th December 2003

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago

God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all.

When Satan heard this, he laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"

Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!

The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!

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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
Jag wrote:

hepatitis wrote:
From what I detect, Ive got a feeling that this could go on and on and on and on.....

   No sh*t, Sherlock!


Correct, it's Watson my mindhepatitis2008-01-17 23:34:39
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about 18 years ago · edited over 13 years ago
I'm back. Hope nobody took offence at my leaving, On the evidence of what I've seen so far, this thread might be a winner. Don't have a clue where all this might lead tho'.... Jag2008-01-17 23:35:40

Apparently I'm apathetic, but I couldn't care less.

"Being a Partick Thistle fan sets you apart. It means youre a free thinker. It also means your team has no money." Tim Luckhurst, The Independent, 4th December 2003

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