Off Topic

The sexually indiscreet neighbour...

40 replies · 8,048 views
almost 13 years ago

Second time in about a month.  It's weeknight.  It's 2:00am.  It's an apartment.  The walls are made of paper.  And she's a screamer.  And she likes her butt slapped too.  What do you do?  Subtle suggestions please.

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almost 13 years ago

Small and discreet hole in the wall?

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almost 13 years ago

Loud and indiscreet STFU - that worked for me after a couple of strikes.

E + R + O

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almost 13 years ago

It's a right pain in the arse isn't it?Got a similiar issue.

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almost 13 years ago

Get another place, and rent (or sublet) that apartment out to lonely old men. 


Allegedly

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almost 13 years ago
Hard News wrote:

Is she tidy?


She does nothing for me.Except keep me awake.
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almost 13 years ago

Go round there and ask if they want their photocopier to be repaired

All I do is make the stuff I would've liked
Reference things I wanna watch, reference girls I wanna bite
Now I'm firefly like a burning kite
And yousa fake fuck like a fleshlight

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almost 13 years ago

Have you got a power drill and a video camera?

E + R + O

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almost 13 years ago

Put your stereo against the wall and when it starts up, time for some love making music. Hopefully she'll get the message that the walls are thin. If it just encourages her, put something shit on repeat.

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almost 13 years ago

Record Quagmire saying "giggity" - put speaker against the wall as above, and set it to repeat.


Allegedly

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almost 13 years ago

Pics or it never happened.


"Phoenix till they lose"

Posting 97% bollox, 8% lies and 3.658% genuine opinion. 

Genuine opinion: FTFFA

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almost 13 years ago · edited almost 13 years ago · History
Groff wrote:

Put your stereo against the wall and when it starts up, time for some love making music. Hopefully she'll get the message that the walls are thin. If it just encourages her, put something shit on repeat.


Seriously, genius...

Pic will go on the notice board tonight.

http://images.45cat.com/jennifer-rush-the-power-of-love-orchestral-remix-cbs.jpg

And the video raring to go for the next "butt slapping" session...


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almost 13 years ago

Have a wank then roll over and go to sleep!

"Ive just re-visited this and once again realised that C-Diddy is a genius - a drunk, Newcastle bred disgrace - but a genius." - Hard News, 11:39am 4th June 2009

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almost 13 years ago
Banzai!...AIEEE!!! wrote:
Groff wrote:

Put your stereo against the wall and when it starts up, time for some love making music. Hopefully she'll get the message that the walls are thin. If it just encourages her, put something shit on repeat.


Seriously, genius...

Pic will go on the notice board tonight.

http://images.45cat.com/jennifer-rush-the-power-of-love-orchestral-remix-cbs.jpg

And the video raring to go for the next "butt slapping" session...



Haha well set up and now we play the waiting game. Agh the waiting game sucks, let's play hungry hungry hippos!
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almost 13 years ago
C-Diddy wrote:

Have a wank then roll over and go to sleep!

Hahaha  - not bad

                                                                        COYN    

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almost 13 years ago
C-Diddy wrote:

Have a wank then roll over and go to sleep!

This. 

Actually, would it be a big ask to post a recording Banzai?
Fruglo on 15.01.2013 wrote:

Fuck this stupid game

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almost 13 years ago

Might pay to check who is rooting her first  - just in case he is a dangerous type who will beat you to pulp...

then do the recording

                                                                        COYN    

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almost 13 years ago

I love the offseason. 


Allegedly

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almost 13 years ago
Banzai!...AIEEE!!! wrote:
Sanday wrote:
Hard News wrote:

Is she tidy?


She does nothing for me.Except keep me awake.


Gonna leave this on the notice board today.

http://www.mensfitness.com/sites/mensfitness.com/files/imagecache/node_page_image/article_images/sleep_main_0.jpg


That guy is a babe.  That is all.

End of an era.  Vinnie - It's over.

If anyone cares for my inane babbling follow @iluvnix17 on the Twitter.

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almost 13 years ago

Did you end up fapping one or more out Banzai?

"Ive just re-visited this and once again realised that C-Diddy is a genius - a drunk, Newcastle bred disgrace - but a genius." - Hard News, 11:39am 4th June 2009

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almost 13 years ago

This is the funniest fred I have read on this forum.

Grumpy old bastard alert

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almost 13 years ago
Get a recording, send it to 2nd best and it can be the intro music for the next pod cast



Auckland will rise once more

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almost 13 years ago

^ definitely this. Hahaha

 


 

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almost 13 years ago
Jeff Vader wrote:

This is the funniest fred I have read on this forum.

there has been funier

I LOVE LAMP

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almost 13 years ago
AucklandPhoenix wrote:
Get a recording, send it to 2nd best and it can be the intro music for the next pod cast


Soo much this.
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almost 13 years ago

During the past week, some drunk dude has come home, and, well...tried to imitate...he's either 1) practicing for the main event (unlikely coz there's been no news to report on that front) or 2) he's mocking the noisy love bird...

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almost 13 years ago

Pretty sure that makes him a bag with which to douche. Unfortunate. 

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almost 13 years ago

...or 3) he could be trying to rub our noses into it, in regards to his sexual performance?  Dunno.

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almost 13 years ago

Countered by......... cranking some loud filthy porn on the computer then heading out for the night :)

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over 12 years ago

I moved in to a new flat last night.  Turns out one of my flatmates has an incredibly squeaky bed! Damn him!

End of an era.  Vinnie - It's over.

If anyone cares for my inane babbling follow @iluvnix17 on the Twitter.

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over 12 years ago
Don't you hate listening to a guy masturbating over you?



Auckland will rise once more

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over 12 years ago

Heehee - now that's funny

                                                                        COYN    

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over 12 years ago

Gross.

Just had an awkward moment when he asked how my first night in the flat was.

Really wanted to tell him that he woke me up rooting, I refrained.  Think it's too soon.

End of an era.  Vinnie - It's over.

If anyone cares for my inane babbling follow @iluvnix17 on the Twitter.

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over 12 years ago
I <3 Nix wrote:

Gross.

Just had an awkward moment when he asked how my first night in the flat was.

Really wanted to tell him that he woke me up rooting, I refrained.  Think it's too soon.


A point of clarification please.
Were you rooting in your sleep? or was he rooting you when he woke you up?

We're the WELLINGTON Phoenix

And this is our Home

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over 12 years ago

Wonder what tonight will bring?


"Phoenix till they lose"

Posting 97% bollox, 8% lies and 3.658% genuine opinion. 

Genuine opinion: FTFFA

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over 12 years ago
I <3 Nix wrote:

Gross.

Just had an awkward moment when he asked how my first night in the flat was.

Really wanted to tell him that he woke me up rooting, I refrained.  Think it's too soon.

So a dude woke you for a root and you refrained? That's a welcoming flat

Grumpy old bastard alert

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over 12 years ago

Glory hole standard.

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