Park Life: 2008

You'd wonder, if you read the paper, whether anyone cared about the upcoming local leagues. Coverage of the Hilton Petone pre-season competition has been non-existent and any kind of promotion of the Big Travel League, or its little cousin the Champs Premier League, is beyond the means of them that write the cheques at Capital Football HQ.

But wander into Yellow Fever's forums on any afternoon and you'll see that the passion for club football in this city is undimmed by the presence of the Phoenix and Team Wellington. Indeed it's hitting all new highs.

A quick survey of post counts in the various parts of the Forums will tell you what it is that fires Wellington's football supporters up.

Head and shoulders above all other things is, unsurprisingly, the Phoenix. Daylight is second followed by discussion of English football. But a close third is chit chat about local footy.

Digging down you'll find that the Champs Premier League, the Hilton Petone, and the upcoming Central League are all hot topics of debate and banter. Everyone, it seems, does give a sh*t after all.

Discussion of last season's Champs Premier League alone generated over 16,000 distinct page views which scrapes it into the top 5 football topics on the site. Staggering, really, when it would seem by watching the mainstream press that there is very little interest.

All the talk around town so far though is about the Hilton Petone.

One of the lesser known facts about the Hilton Petone is that this year it was sponsored by Davis Trading. You wouldn't know that really unless you were an anorak. Which is a shame. But there we go. Well done to Davis Trading.

Better known around the traps is that the high flyers of this year's competition have been Fiji.

Not content with last season's fifth equal spot in the Champs Premier League club owner and country horse tranquilizer mogul Phil Keinzley purchased Fiji (all of it) to have a tilt at this year's title.

They started in spectacular form - tearing through their group with 6-0 and 4-2 wins alongside a 4-2 loss to Olympic from the league above � before cruising into the final with an emphatic 5-1 destruction of a below par Waterside Karori.

In the process they have scored, and missed, some spectacular goals including one from their centre back � Fijian international Wardrobo � who was awarded a goal for scoring with a Marist defender having launched him fully 20 yards from the edge of the box into the top right after the young lad had the temerity to nick the ball away from his feet as he wound up for a strike.

They are being touted � by erudite forumites � as potential League winners and with a few token locals scattered around a core of Fijian internationals it is hard to argue that they are not contenders.

The Davis Trading Tournament for the Hilton Petone Cup Final, to be played on Sunday the 30th, against Central League strugglers Wellington United promises to be a good test of their Big Travel League credentials.

Chit chat and banter about the Final can be found here: http://www.yellowfever.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4693

 

April 5th sees kick off in the Big Travel League. So what can we expect from the top club league south of Mount Ruapehu and north of Picton?

Last year Wilson Suburbs cleaned up the Big Travel League cruising home emphatically with a five point margin ahead of Internazionale look-alikes Miramar.

This year The Mar must do without the services of some stalwarts. Dave Batty is the victim of a pregnancy and steps down to an on-call role for the reserve team while Tim Butterfield is rumoured to be heading overseas so is also unavailable. (Butters is also rumoured to have demanded 60,000 pounds a week to play but then that rumour goes around every year so Park Life pays it no mind.)

What they have lost in age, though, they have retained in beauty and the job of running the midfield is likely to fall onto young Napoleon Dynamite look-alike Michael Eagar when he returns from Team Wellington duty at the end of the Franchise League season.

The Mar also have problems in goal. Dylan Hall is currently out with a wrist injury, Sasha Nathu was last seen chasing a cheque as it fluttered off towards Newtown Park in a stiff Northerly, and young Simon Shone lacks any meaningful experience at senior level.

News on last year's champions is always hard to come by pre-season. Traditionally Wests eschew the Hilton Petone and first team coach Matt Calcott is tighter than a duck's backside when it comes to giving out squad information.

It would appear, however, that they have kept together their title-winning squad as well as picking up the odd signing from around the country. They have welcomed back Uber Coach Stu Jacobs with open arms after he was abruptly released by the Phoenix and the magnetic power of his involvement (and, of course, Uncle Dave's cheque book) looks to have attracted some additional talent to the ranks.

They won't have an easy opening round though as they welcome Olympic to Endeavour Park.

In the Hilton Petone Olympic have been seen sporting a Greek All-Star midfield of Halikias, George, Barbarouses and Gerondis (try saying that five times fast after a few ouzos) which you would have to expect to be the measure of anything in the Big Travel League.

Rumours abound that former All White, pizza magnate, and friend of Yellow Fever Raf de Gregorio is on the verge of signing for the Bubble and Squeeks and the addition of one or two more players of quality could turn them from a side to upset anyone into genuine title contenders.

Like a souvlaki-loving Arsenal, however, you have to wonder if they have the depth.

Injuries to a couple of that key midfield quartet could spell disaster for their Big Travel League title aspirations.

DKP22's Goals Conceded this Week...

 

DKP22's Goals Conceded for Season 2008...

 

Every clean sheet, Yellow Fever makes a donation to charity. Win win situation. Unless you have cancer.

 

 

 

i agree that the coverage about LH has been S&*T this season. i am suprised that no one has mentioned them as a chance this season. time will tell but hopefully the 1st game of the season will create abit more intrest

 

If you weren't interested in club football before the weekend you'd have to be in some kind of gin-induced coma not be interested now. What a weekend for the local game. 22 goals in the Big Travel League's first round sure has provided a lively start to the season's proceedings.

Not everyone is as full of the joys of winter as Park Life, however. Proving that football is a game of many emotions we give the following evidence.

Embarrassed and confused: Stop Out

Trainspotters will know that Stop Out very nearly equalled the Big Travel League spanking record on Saturday with a Derby-like capitulation to Lower Hutt.

Hutt, who have been mixed in pre-season outings, absolutely destroyed the Railways boys who were left to sneak out of Bell Park meekly, looking very shamefaced.

Elated and Smug: Lower Hutt

Like so much of the Hutt Valley Lower Hutt will still be coming down from the weekend's high. Goals rained down from Lower Hutt in a torrential manner (that no doubt contributed to the closure of Karori Park) with (take a deep breath if you're reading this out loud to your kids) Pedro Pedro Pedro Pedro Pedro, Churchy, Rooker, Craig from Newlands and some guy whose name sounds like Antonio Banderas all getting on the score sheet.

Rumours that the referee had to run to Whitcoulls at half time to get a new pen and a piece of A3 paper must surely be exaggerated?

Unexpectedly Racist: Petone

Okay so racist isn't an emotion but still...Petone had a player sent off on Saturday for a racist insult slung unintelligently at a Miramar player.

Petone is a club that Park Life likes a great deal so we are sure they will join us in condemning such garbage.

To compound Petone's misery the sent-off man cost them the game. Petone had hit the woodwork and were looking likely for an upset win in their first Central League outing but the reduction to 10 men hurt them and they were forced to watch as Miramar's Irish Didier Drogba, Graham Mulvey, bumbled in a heart-breaking winner from a corner.

The red-carded player in question was seen dragging his knuckles off to the changing rooms looking shame-faced and baffled.

Justifiably Grumpy: Western Suburbs

Olympic left Wests more smashed than a plate at a Greek wedding on Saturday at Endeavour Park as a nearly full strength Olympic team put five past Matt Calcott's hapless charges.

Wests officials were playing a straight bat after the match, giving Olympic all the credit for a comprehensive win. Sources close to the Wests camp, however, were less circumspect and fired salvo after salvo at Capital Football.

Park Life sees their point. A few clubs in Wellington, Wests amongst them, provide the majority of Team Wellington's players. That hurts those clubs badly in the opening rounds of the Central League and Park Life doesn't think it's beyond the capability of Capital Football to find a solution to this annual problem. Otherwise there is a disincentive for clubs to produce players for the NZFC � and that's a bit daft.

Olympic, however, will be a force in this year's Big Travel League provided they can keep their first team fit. The return of George Barbarouses will add further spice to a midfield that is already hot.

Quietly Satisfied: Wellington United

In a match that Park Life predicted would be a boring draw Wellington United came alive and made all the play against a, by all accounts, mediocre Palmerston North Marist outfit.

Goals to Andy Groom, Ed Burnett and the sparkling Richie Gray had Park Life's man in the stand bubbling with giddy excitement. At least for the first 20 minutes. After that Park Life's man's main comments were about the weather. The rain came and washed away any football that may have been in evidence early on in the match.
But the Oranje were already ahead and had enough about them to calmly finish what they'd started.

But that's not all�

Napier and Taranaki battled out a 1-1 draw in a game that apparently had everything: grass, goals, a ball, players and a referee � none of them of especially high quality.

Park Life cautions, however, that the man from the Napier clubrooms who delivered that summary may have been there for a number of hours and have been partaking in a good old fashioned "lock in" like they do in country pubs. Lagers all round. Park Life's is a Double Brown thanks.

Karori gave new truth to their moniker Waterside on Saturday after play was halted across the Karori Park Aquadrome following the spilling of someone's water bottle. The main game of the day there: Shaun Gill's Wharfies vs Wests Under 11s was called off leaving the kids to head back to Whitby for a cocoa while Gill's men funded the next six years' Champs Premier campaigns in the clubrooms.

The Western Zone Backstroke Championship was, however, successfully completed.

 

Apparently the red cardee said to another player, "You're a joke" which the ref heard as, "You're a gook".

 

 

 

 

Park Life has a simple question to start today's weekend preview: who is the slow-witted muddle-brained functionary who decides that, on the Capital Football website, the Central League draw and results should be listed last � below all other junior and senior divisions? It's mental. Anyone who can answer this question please email your response to parklife@yellowfever.co.nz

With that small rant out of the way, what can the erudite fan of club football look forward to this weekend?
Not much is the terrible truth.

Like a poor-man's Tabloid sub-editor Park Life has desperately tried to inject some excitement into this weekend's Preview by using unnecessary hyperbole, rubbish competitions and rap-style alliteration. Has it worked? You be the judge.

Melt In the Mouth Mar Race to Roll Over Rovers in Centennial Sensation

The Mar welcome Rovers to a lushly replanted Centennial. Park Life can't pretend that this will be a scintillating vision of Total Football but, with fine weather predicted for Saturday, it might be your only chance to actually enjoy a game at Centennial this season.

For the Mar Didier Mulvey will be hoping to recover from a lower back knack in time to take the field. New Mar man Tommy Smith With An I might get a start if he doesn't and in fact might start anyway with Kieren Cripps, the Imelda Marcos of the Mar, making way. Otherwise it's likely to be an unchanged Mar line up.

Napier, meanwhile, will be desperate to put their goofy draw with Team Cellar Dweller behind them and give the Mar a run for their money before Team Wellington players return.

You'd expect Rovers away from home to try and harry the Mar which could kill off most of the football.

Join Petone at the Raceway to see Stop Out lose again and receive a free set of Ginsu Steak Knives*

(*Disclaimer: chance of receiving Ginsu Steak Knives is same as chance of Stop Out winning Big Travel League.)

Petone travel to Stop Out. Rumours that the entire Petone squad are going to wear 9 to remind Stop Out of last weekend's hiding are � sources confirm � not correct.

It's hard to avoid the conclusion that Stop Out are going to spend the season getting battered but this weekend's game at home to newly promoted Petone will be a true test of that theory.

Petone showed they are worthy of respect in the Big Travel League going down (after hitting the woodwork and having a man sent off) to a late goal against the Mar last weekend.

Park Life is going to put it's neck way out on the chopping board here and predict a comfortable Petone win with frizzy barnet-sporting son-of-'82-keeper Mikey Pickering to knock in a brace.

As an aside, Park Life did have to guffaw when it checked Stop Out's website and found that its Central League section told you, well, nothing:

http://www.stopout.org.nz/index.php?option=com_content&view=section&layout=blog&id=6&Itemid=29

Now it is no real surprise that a match report from the weekend isn't in evidence but Park Life wonders if players requested that their profiles be removed to avoid damaging their standing in society?

Palmy Papists Promise Plenty for Pedro

Meanwhile, Lower Hutt travel to their spiritual homeland Palmerston North to take on the Palmy North Papists.

It's hard to know what to make of this one. Lower Hutt suffer at the hands of Team Wellington as much as anyone. Luis Corralles and Steve Gulley, for example, are players who would have an impact in any Big Travel League team.

But the Hutt seem to have a second tier of players who are more than capable at Big Travel League level.
Phil Patterson, Rooker, Pedro Five Goals and Antonio Banderas are, on their day, as good as any in this competition without the aid of their Team Wellington squad members.

And there's the trick: a bit of squad depth that includes experienced senior players as well as talented youngsters like Yugoboss Junior.

Lower Hutt will probably stay top of the table in an entertaining win watched by nobody at the Palmerston North Velodrome.

Taranaki are tripe

The only serious contenders to the top of the table position this weekend are the Greeks who travel to Team Cellar Dweller.

Park Life have been scouring our extensive databases to find a less appealing away trip than to the Yarrow Stadium and have come up with nothing.

Taranaki may be irrationally buoyed by their draw with Rovers away in Napier last weekend but let us not forget that this is a club whose website (www.teamtaranaki.co.nz) proudly proclaims "�what a great finish to 2007" despite the fact they were dumped out of the Big Travel League in a relegation-playoff hiding at the hands of Petone only to be reinstated when Rent-a-Team Gisborne folded.

According to their website they are also still mulling over who to appoint as coach. Evidently they have a shortlist. Perhaps it should be longer.

Olympic may just beat them by enough to snatch the League leaders' crown from Lower Hutt.

Oranje Order Win from Wests

Given the choice, Park Life would watch this match.

Wests will still be smarting from the Hutt Valley High-style poking they got at the hands of Olympic last week but they might just rate themselves a chance on a fine day at Newtown Park.

As Park Life mentioned in our horribly mediocre review of Round One Wests get a hammering in the Team Wellington stakes and are expecting a staggering seven players of NZFC standard to come back in between now and May. The only one this week though will be NZ U17 keeper Jake Gleeson.

The Oranje have form in their favour leading into this clash though and for once Park Life is picking them for the win, although it won't be an easy one. The will be without the services of goal scorer from last week Mike Groom and their back four of relative unknowns will have to cope with the well organised play of Calcott's Wests.

Park Life caught up with Oranje coach Ross Durant. "We're very pleased with how things are going. We were comfortable in the league last year (they finished 7th, ten points adrift of 6th placed Rent-a-Team United � PL)and this year we'd like to think we can mix it with some of the big boys" he said candidly. What he meant was 'yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee we've got Wests early in the season.'

Lower Leagues Lively Without Wet Waterside Washout

Outside the Big Travel League last weekend everyone had a swimming day. And we do mean everyone!

This weekend's pick in the Champs Premier League is probably Kapiti Coast United at home to Thommo's Reserve Rangers but who in their right mind would travel to Kapiti? So that one's just for locals on the Coast with the Most.

The rest of us should ignore all other fixtures in the Champs Premier League except perhaps for Sunday's game: Wests U11s at home to Upper Hutt at Endeavour Park.

Park Life may eschew church this Sabbath and get along to watch it.

must be a big lower hutt supporter too by the sound of your preview.

 

i agree tho, i enjoyed the 1st park life more than that one

 

Keep them coming Smithy

 

i loved reading park life's review of the 1st round, al im saying is that in my opinion i didnt really enjoy this preview, he was over doing the "funny" side of things. but i think its awsome what hes doing because its good reading about all the central league teams.

 

and yes some teams get a massive write up compared to, on this occasion lets say olympic.

 

anyway a-team is that ok with you mate?