The next Phoenix press conference ...
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After the last two Phoenix press conferences which were pretty much
unmatched in the history of NZ football, it's about time for
another one.
So, what will be in this week's conference?
Terry Serepisos says he has had enough of Australian commentator Robbie Slater's hatred of New Zealand. He challenges him to an arm wrestle next time the Phoenix play away. If Slater loses, he has to stop bagging New Zealand football.
"I reckon I'm good for it", Serepisos told the press. "I've been practising against the boys in the team, and I can take out everyone except Ross Aloisi. He's a hard b**tard.
Actually, I twisted Tim Brown's wrist, so it's not looking likely that he's going to start this week either ..."
Unable to break into the starting lineup, Cleberson has started a samba dance school in Wellington.
Tony Pignata reveals he has been hard at work making a real-life Phoenix to be the team's mascot.
"I had to kill twelve pigeons to get to this point, but it's been worth it". The real Phoenix used to be a kea.
However, on it's unveiling, it flies into the advertising banner, setting it on fire. The bird panics, and flies out of the room. It swoops over the stadium, before heading west to Australia, never to be seen again.
The Phoenix offer a trial position to any Lions or Hurricanes players willing to switch codes. They have 15 offers.
Jose Mourinho is revealed as guest coach of the LA Galaxy for their Australasian tour.
'Forget the defensive stuff', he says, 'We're gonna make mincemeat of those Kiwis'.
Daniel has decided to brush up on his diving by volunteering as a part-time lifeguard at Freyberg Pool.
Scores of Wellington women realise, "gosh, it's been ages since I've been swimming, I really should go again." However, on reaching the pool, they realise that, "actually, I can't swim that well at all, really, in fact I might be drowning, hey, could somebody help me, how about that young man over there"
Daniel is soon overwhelmed by the demand and has to resign.
The Wellington City council reveals that all future spending must be approved by a poll on the Yellow Fever website. Councils first action is to triple the alcohol supply to Wellington.
It is revealed that Tim Brown has caught Yellow Fever. No, he hasn't joined the fan club, he has caught the disease, and will have to be isolated for the rest of the season.
Mark Paston announces a sideline business selling sheepskin seat covers. "Just the thing for those wannabe players left out in the cold while their teammates grab all the action".
Bevan2007-09-25 18:34:02
So, what will be in this week's conference?
Terry Serepisos says he has had enough of Australian commentator Robbie Slater's hatred of New Zealand. He challenges him to an arm wrestle next time the Phoenix play away. If Slater loses, he has to stop bagging New Zealand football.
"I reckon I'm good for it", Serepisos told the press. "I've been practising against the boys in the team, and I can take out everyone except Ross Aloisi. He's a hard b**tard.
Actually, I twisted Tim Brown's wrist, so it's not looking likely that he's going to start this week either ..."
Unable to break into the starting lineup, Cleberson has started a samba dance school in Wellington.
Tony Pignata reveals he has been hard at work making a real-life Phoenix to be the team's mascot.
"I had to kill twelve pigeons to get to this point, but it's been worth it". The real Phoenix used to be a kea.
However, on it's unveiling, it flies into the advertising banner, setting it on fire. The bird panics, and flies out of the room. It swoops over the stadium, before heading west to Australia, never to be seen again.
The Phoenix offer a trial position to any Lions or Hurricanes players willing to switch codes. They have 15 offers.
Jose Mourinho is revealed as guest coach of the LA Galaxy for their Australasian tour.
'Forget the defensive stuff', he says, 'We're gonna make mincemeat of those Kiwis'.
Daniel has decided to brush up on his diving by volunteering as a part-time lifeguard at Freyberg Pool.
Scores of Wellington women realise, "gosh, it's been ages since I've been swimming, I really should go again." However, on reaching the pool, they realise that, "actually, I can't swim that well at all, really, in fact I might be drowning, hey, could somebody help me, how about that young man over there"
Daniel is soon overwhelmed by the demand and has to resign.
The Wellington City council reveals that all future spending must be approved by a poll on the Yellow Fever website. Councils first action is to triple the alcohol supply to Wellington.
It is revealed that Tim Brown has caught Yellow Fever. No, he hasn't joined the fan club, he has caught the disease, and will have to be isolated for the rest of the season.
Mark Paston announces a sideline business selling sheepskin seat covers. "Just the thing for those wannabe players left out in the cold while their teammates grab all the action".
Bevan2007-09-25 18:34:02
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nice stuff.....I would like to see that arm wrestle match
if Terry Serepisos loses he can utter the phrase "meet my
friend.....Pain" then have Cleberson headbutt slater....that
would make good footage on youtube
MESSIAH2007-09-25 20:54:08
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i suspect Tim Brown may in fact be dead...someone's helping to make it look like he's alive, like in Weekend At Bernies. (Maybe they accidentally killed him). Has anyone seen him walk around by himself? Ha i thought not!
I like tautologies because I like them.
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Awsome press conference Bevan 
.Great
work indeed, what position did you have in mind for Jerry C
after the trials?? I hear hes good for watering the pitch with
his big 
.Great
work indeed, what position did you have in mind for Jerry C
after the trials?? I hear hes good for watering the pitch with
his big
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i suspect Tim Brown may in fact be dead...someone's helping to make it look like he's alive, like in Weekend At Bernies. (Maybe they accidentally killed him). Has anyone seen him walk around by himself? Ha i thought not!
wait to see if there is string attached to his arm when he
waves to the cameras from the crowd on the weekend
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You just made my day! Even if the
idea of burning keas doesn't sit well with me...seagulls,
however...
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You just made my day! Even if the
idea of burning keas doesn't sit well with me...seagulls,
however...How about substituting the Keas with Magpies? They're becoming
a nuisance to bike riders these days.
Lonegunmen2007-09-25 22:59:10
Proud to have attended the first 175 Consecutive "Home" Wellington Phoenix "A League" Games !!
The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!
The Ruf, The Ruf, The Ruf is on Fire!!
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You just made my day! Even if the
idea of burning keas doesn't sit well with me...seagulls,
however...How about substituting the Keas with Magpies? They're becoming
a nuisance to bike riders these days.
Sounds good as long as you leave the native species alone, else my Conservation Biology degree might lead me to a career in asking whether or not you want fries with your order
robbwatson2007-09-25 23:03:39
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It was meant to be funny. Analysing humour means losing the
joke.
(and I thought I was doing the right thing by having pigeons killed, saving pride of place for an NZ native ...)
Feel free to add some items of your own though ...
(and I thought I was doing the right thing by having pigeons killed, saving pride of place for an NZ native ...)
Feel free to add some items of your own though ...
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It was meant to be funny. Analysing humour means losing the
joke.
(and I thought I was doing the right thing by having pigeons killed, saving pride of place for an NZ native ...)
Feel free to add some items of your own though ...
(and I thought I was doing the right thing by having pigeons killed, saving pride of place for an NZ native ...)
Feel free to add some items of your own though ...
LOL it was funny mate, I wasn't calling you out on it
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