Alex Jones chants

apologies for this, but:

Alex Jones, Alex Jones

score one Alex Jones

Alex Jones, Alex Jones

Score one now

Ai-pi-eye-ooh

Ai-pi-eye-eh

Ai-pi-eye-ooh-aiii

Slow 'n' sexy. Hopefully the opposite of the player.

Alex Jones, Jones
Calling Alex Jones, "Alex Jones, Alex Jones, score right now"
(score right now)...
Alex Jones, Jones
Calling Alex Jones, "Alex Jones, Alex Jones, score right now "
(score right now)

(Apologies to the Beegees)

Have you seen the goal Alex Jones?

Do you know how to make the net bulge?

Don't go straying offside, or taking nosedives

Alex Jones.

Have to do this:

Ai-pi-eye-ooh

Ai-pi-eye-eh

Ai-pi-eye-ooh-aiii

His pasty skin tells us he’s brit
Alex, Alex
A piece of fish, some mushy peas
Alex, Alex
We brought the lad from West Midlands...
When he gets the ball, our wins increase
Alex Jones
Phoenix number 9

His pasty skin tells us he’s Brit Alex, Alex

Bangers and mash, some mushy peas

Alex, Alex

We brought the lad from West Midlands

His goal are loved in the grandstands

Alex Jones

Phoenix number nnnnnnnine.

That midlands vs Grandstands is a stretch.

Was about the only thing I could find of relevance.

Could use Birmingham instead of West Midlands, and find a replacement

We loaned the lad from St Andrew's, he better fix our scoring issues

 How can we adapt this?

We brought the lad from Birmingham

He get's the ball, we score again

This this this this this.

Fill in the gaps Benny.

He's the boogie woogie bugle boy from Birmingham B

Perfect as is I reckon, just swap Kenwyne for Alex. Not necessary to Nixify everything.

I know what you mean by "Nixify" but it sounds scary! Almost like what has happened to our season.

To the tune of Sloop John B 

...

He came from Birmingham B 

On loan to the Phoenix FC 

Halfway round the world came Alex Jones 

The kid is alright

And he'll score tonight

We've got no license 

He'll have to go home 

. 

See him let the ball sail

Into the back of the net 

The fever call his name, Alex Jones 

O-oh Alex Jones, o-oh Alex Jones, yeah yeah 

We've got no license 

He'll have to go home 

Alternatively, the last two lines of each verse could be

.

We found a striker 

His name's Alex Jones 

But we can't play him

Coz' NZF won't answer their phones

"Oh dear, what can the matter be?

NZF have fudgeed up Sat-ur-day."