Rory Fallon (Dame Malvina Major Retirement Village)

 

 

 

Brown's made Rory an offer and is hoping Rory will agree terms. Calls him "the golden boy of NZ football" and has seen a lot of footage of Rory at club level and with the All Whites.

Brown says his side are creating lots of chances but lack a target man, someone good in the air, and he feels Rory fits the bill.

 

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Not many people know this, but Rory Fallon has been scientifically proven to be god. Here are a few other facts...

Jesus walked on water.

Rory Fallon can swim through land.

Rory Fallon can slam a revolving door.

Rory Fallon slept through 9/11.

He was on the 73rd floor.           

 

Rory Fallon can get Blackjack with just one card.

Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Rory Fallon is looking for it.

Rory Fallon doesnt go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of Fallon.

Rory Fallon puts the laughter in manslaughter.

Rory Fallon is not only a noun, but a verb.

Rory Fallon can watch an episode of 60 minutes in 22 seconds.

 

Rory Fallon once counted to infinity. Twice.  

 

Only Wonder Woman can withstand his loving. Also:

Rory Fallon invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Rory Fallon has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.   

 

  

You're right.

He's better.

Rory Fallon would destroy MaFAIL-Smith.

In fact, he wouldn't even need to do it himself. The earth itself would understand the will of the man, and swallow his victim whole for its master.    

He's only gone and booked a ticket to the WORLD CUP.

        
       
   

 

' Brown says the 29-year-old New Zealand international will have to lower his wage demands if he is to boost the club's strike options.

The former Scotland manager said: "Rory won't be back up to Aberdeen unless we can agree terms." '

 

or his agent does, much like Rigters

 

Surely that's the sign from God that Rory's been waiting for? Rory, you're meant to be at the Nix!

 

 

May not be a totally good move since Aberdeen have a lot of problems- they're in dire financial straits and can't afford to sign enough decent players, i.e. they're the Wellington Phoenix of the SPL- Rory's entering another situation like that of his previous club Plymouth who had the wheels falling off.

They've only scored two goals (both in one game against fellow relegation fodder) in seven SPL games.

Comments from Aberdeen fans give some insight into their plight:

 

Bill Bright
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Unfortunately another forward is likely to make no difference, as Chalali already warms the bench. Aberdeen have failed to replace the only two creative players we had in Aluko and Maquire, there is nothing in the final third, no link from midfield to upfront other than 'hoof ball'. We're top heavy with central midfielders, need a winger foremost. One of the most mediocre Dons teams i have seen, nothing but below average footballers. How depressing, no fear Mackie may hit a purple patch!
Steve Cryle
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Well Craig if you can make a winning team from the dross that you have signed you will deserve the eternal gratitude of the fans. In fact you will deserve a VC or perhaps the freedom of the city if you get this lot into the top six of the SPL. Lets see how we sit in a months time because believe me this will make or break your reign at Pittodrie.
Ernie Rendall
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Assuming Fallon still has the form he showed in the world cup, he should help us. Problem is, we have the worst midfield in a generation and CB always starts Vernon and away from home plays one up front which is a laugh. Milsom is clueless, Osbourne isn't good enough, Clark looked lost, Foster tries but is a disaster waiting to happen, Fyvie is out of position. I agree with Ian, give Megginson and Pawlett a chance - the latter with Magennis at least raised the level a little on Sunday. But how so many 'professionals' can't pass, can't take dead balls, and are visionless makes me wonder what has happened to football the country over. I play with over 50 ex-pros from Poland with more ability. Not sure if even Archie's training can sort this lot out.
Dan German
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we are in deep trouble.
bob seivwright

 

STRIKER RORY FALLON GOES FROM HERO TO VILLAIN

All Whites striker Rory Fallon turned from penalty spot hero to villain as his new team Aberdeen made an embarrassing exit from the Scottish League Cup at the hands of second division stragglers East Fife today.

Fallon, who last week penned a deal with the Scottish Premier League team, came on as a 70th minute substitute with Aberdeen trailing 3-2 at home and struck an equaliser from the penalty spot in the third minute of stoppage time to send the third round match into extra time.

Despite having 25 shots to seven across the match Aberdeen could not break the deadlock, and Fallon went from hero to zero in the penalty shootout when, up first for the hosts, he had his shot saved by Mark Ridgers.

East Fife, who are currently last in the second division, went on to win the shootout 4-3.