Park Life: 2008

It made the front page features... didn't quite make it here.

Here comes the weekend alright...in like forty five minutes.

Park Life is the Fever's lazy late latte-sipping look at the local football scene and today we outdo ourselves with our tardiness and amateurish rumour-mongering.

Park Life's correspondents have been busy slaving away trying to maintain the illusion that they do the jobs they're paid for rather than spend all day contributing to a tea-time Thursday missive previewing a weekend of football.

It's been a tough fantasy to keep up but we seem to have staved off the sack for another week and as we now relax in front of our work monitors with a company-sponsored beer in hand we can finally, a day late and less informatively than ever before, have a look for you at this weekend's fixture list.

The One Game to Watch This Weekend

Is undeniably Olympic v Lower Hutt at Bell Park.

The game is at 2.30 on Saturday, that's tomorrow, and should be a doozie!

Lower Hutt are the top equal goalscorers in the Big Travel League and have been strong from the get go. They had a good win in the Big Cup but there is some discontent in the ranks with Churchy looking to cross the city to the Greeks! It will be interesting to see if he plays this weekend. At the other end of the scale Park Life's sources tell us that they have brought in some U23 international talent (who hasn't!) to bolster their ranks including, maybe, Jacob Matthews from Auckland.

Olympic took a while to wind up and had a bit of a yo-yo at the start of the season but have since gone on strongly and now sit second on the table. They are fresh from an absolute spanking of lower league Naenae in the Big Cup last weekend where they put on a clinic and smashed in six.

The Greeks seem to be continuing their relentless recruitment drive. PJ Beetlejuice has also transferred in, from the Mar, and is clear to play tomorrow if required. It's interesting to see Olympic signing yet more midfielders when what they really want is a striking partner for Micky the Mallet.

A win might lift the Hutt to fourth but smart money is on Olympic to stay second and Hutt to drop to sixth

New Zealand Youth Invitational XI vs Stop Out

Stop Out have also continued their slightly less enthusiastic recruitment drive this week with reports they have signed a second-team foreigner from Lower Hutt. This is unlikely to set the world on fire or catapult them up the table in this match.

Wests have, surprisingly, recruited nobody for this one although we hear Mike "The Crown Prince of Wests" Wilson has made a return to training after seventeen years off with knee-knack.

Park Life is confidently predicting a massacre here that may reach double figures as a team laced with international experience takes on a team laced with (snip snippity snip snip snip � Ed).

Stop Out to stay bottom with a big fat doughnut of points while Wests could leap to 3rd or 4th depending on other results.

Petone Host Napier at Memorial

This is the alternative for you if Hutt and Greeks doesn't float your boat.

Petone have performed consistently, and at times exceptionally, since their promotion to the Big Travel League.

This season they seem to be everyone's other club, playing consistent passing football that's entertaining to watch. Fozzie deserves credit for building a team of local lads and doing exceptionally well with them. No big money signings here. Petone are a model to which other clubs should, we reckon, aspire.

They host a Napier side who started slowly in the Big Travel League but have improved immensely to sit third in the Big Travel League.

This game promises to be a tough, edgy encounter and you can expect swift passing moves and counter attacks aplenty. Big Jim Puma Bannatyne could be the difference we reckon and we're picking Petone by a single goal. Richie McLea to score it.

Oranje Welcome The Naki to Newtown

We've been expecting the Oranje to get amongst it in the transfer market in recent weeks but our spies report nothing at all. We suspect it's because of the photo we've posted of Oranje Gaffer Rossco Durant and his questionable umbrella.

The Naki, ludicrously, sit above the Oranje in the Big Travel League having won two games recently against the Oranje's no games. A draw separates them making this the clash between awful and woeful.

Don't go.

Miramar Marist

Miramar should win this at a canter. The first team at the Mar have been going great guns and sit atop the Big Travel League while the Pope's Own Marist have had mixed fortunes and sit second to last.

Jake Spoonley and Cole Tinkler should debut for the Mar.

Discontent simmers in the Mar's reserves though with Loopy Lupi jumping ship to the Bubbles and others in the squad muttering mutiny under their breath. Look for more transfer requests being handed in at Centennial in the coming weeks.

Marist meanwhile will have their hands full. In their favour is, of course, the home advantage.

Nobody likes travelling to Palmy.

And that's the lot for a Park Life so ludicrously late in the week that it leaves no time at all for discussion, debate or derision at the hands of our many many detractors.

We are, however, off out for a few ales to set the weekend going in style. Little surprise then that we can't get a game anywhere, any of us!

Enjoy the weekend. And don't forget to post your match reviews in the Umbro Match of the Month thread to win some groovy gear from our friends at Umbro.

Park Life Park Life2008-05-26 21:17:11

Rangers class above Marist

Marist was fortunate to only lose 6-0 with all Miramar's goals coming in a first-half blitzkrieg in a performance that was more like men against boys.

Although Marist picked up its game in the second half, the improvement was as much to do with Miramar taking two key players off, including midfield maestro Michael Eager who had the ball on a piece string.

Miramar showed they're on a different level from the other sides Marist has played this season with its pace and ball control too much for Marist to cope with.

Marist didn't help itself though, with players more happy to thump the ball up the park rather than retain possession.

Miramar was full of current or past national league players, with Eager, Peter Halstead and Craig Alderdice all having strong games.

But it was the performance of former All White Jeremy Brockie which stood out above all else. Brockie was everywhere and although he played at an incredibly fast clip his ball skills were sublime.

Even taking into account at how poorly he was marked, Brockie was still the class player on the pitch, not only scoring two goals but setting up two others, as well as being back defending on one of Marist's rare forays into the Miramar goal area.

For its part, Marist was again found wanting when balls were knocked into its goal area. A little like YoungHeart this season, Marist doesn't appear to be able to cope with the high crosses, something coach Steve Green will need to remedy if Marist wants to stay clear of the relegation spot.

After its loss on Saturday, Marist is now second bottom with four draws, while Stop Out has lost every game.

In the Western Premiership, North End continued on its way with an embarrassingly easy 12-0 hammering of Linton, again highlighting the likelihood that it will run away with the league.

With it looking like just the second playoff spot is up for grabs, Red Sox Manawatu helped its cause with a stunning goal from promising striker Michael Chrisford giving it a 1-0 win over Wanganui City at Skoglund Park. Along with veteran Kevin Whitta, goalkeeper Alistair Fry had another outstanding game.

Red Sox also beat Palmerston North Boys' High School 5-2 at Massey University under lights on Thursday night.

In other games, Palmerston North Boys' High School beat Massey University 5-0 at Skoglund Park, while Valeron got back to winning ways with an impressive 2-1 win over Wanganui Athletic in Wanganui.

 * In women's soccer, Marist's knockout cup game with Eskview was postponed until next week after heavy rain the Hawke's Bay grounds flooded. In the Central League Massey University was beaten 6-0 by Seatoun in Wellington with the game also played in awful conditions on a muddy pitch covered in puddles.

United back in winning form
26.05.2008
By Gary Caffell

Wairarapa United's attacking style of play worked a treat in their Capital Soccer premier division 3-0 win over Western Suburbs at the Pugh Sports Bowl in Masterton yesterday.

The only blot on an attractive home team performance against the competition cellar dwellers was the fact that while three goals were registered several other prime scoring chances went by the board.

On three occasions shots rebounded off the posts, twice the ball was fired over the top of the net with the defence beaten and two times shots were saved off the line more by good luck than good management.

    Throw in a couple of excellent saves by the Western Suburbs 'keeper and a scoreline at least double that actually achieved would have been a fairer indication of the merits of the two sides.

Wairarapa United set the pattern of the game by continually opening up the opposition defences in the first 20 minutes with slick passing and diligent support of the ball carrier.Seldom in that period did Western Suburbs actally venture into their half and when they did their lack of speed and precision up front was patently exposed.

The first Wairarapa United goal came after Waisake Sabatu intercepted a Western Suburbs pass and gave Seule Soromon the chance to run onto the ball with only the 'keeper to beat. He easily rounded him and casually placed the ball in the back of the net.

Wairarapa United went two goals up when a well-timed pass from Anton Ross again gave Soromon the opportunity to display his finishing expertise and he made no mistake.

Frustrated by the ease at which Wairarapa United were making big gains on attack Western Suburbs

packed their defence over the latter stages oif the first spell and consequently they often had to battle a congested penalty box.Even then. however,scoring chances were created if not utilised.

The second spell was pretty much a repeat of the first with Wairarapa United always looking the more likely attacking unit and Western Suburbs struggling to keep the score to within reasonable bounds.

The only goal in this half came when Soromon completed his hattrick by heading home a neatly-placed cross from Sakeo Valevou but in terms of territory and possession it was again very much

one way traffic.

Several Wairarapa United players had strong games,none more so than Waisake Sabatu who positioned himself cleverly on defence, was seldom beaten in the air and always looked to have time on his hands when in possession of the ball.

Also impressing for their solidity in defensive situations were James Oxtoby and Carl Shailer while Miriek Tuaroh was an imposing figure in midfield,linking well with the likes of Pita Rabo, Ross and the ever dangerious Soromon on attack and pulling off several telling tackles.

Stop Out Scare Wests, Midget Gerard at Newtown
Posted on Tuesday, 27 May 2008

Stop Out Scare Wests, Lower Hutt Overturn Olympic and a Midget Steven Gerard Visits Newtown Park

Park Life is the Fever�s finger on the local football pulse and today we review a form guide following weekend of Big Travel League footy.

Jeepers but our phone didn�t almost melt at half time in this weekend�s Central League. All the games on Saturday for once and come half time a ten man no points bunch of unknowns was tied two all with a star studded, but clearly disinterested, bunch of 20-somethings at the Raceway, Bell Park was witnessing moments of pure genius amongst all round excitement, Newtown Park was playing host to a mysterious poet with too much time on his hands while outside the city a massacre was taking place in Palmerston North and in Napier the newly promoted were continuing their seemingly unstoppable climb up the table.

By the time the second half kicked off Park Life correspondents were knackered with the tension of it all!

Lower Hutt 3-2 Olympic. Half time score unknown

Park Life owes an unreserved apology to you, faithful reader, for the lack of our coverage of this game. Again our correspondent promised something but delivered nothing. What can you do?

What we hear is that this was an excitement-fest. Olympic perhaps the better side but Lower Hutt taking their chances.

Super Raf � Best and Fairest � provided (allegedly) the highlight of the match when he juggled the ball over Phil Patterson (we think) and smashed it into the net with (maybe) his left foot.

New arrival Joel Mathews got his name on the score sheet in his debut and Greek stalwart Own Goal also helped Lower Hutt on their way.

We think that the half time was 3-1 but Park Life invites freestyle commentators to enlighten us on this one.

Pope�s Own Marist 0-6 Miramar. Half time a ridiculous 6-0 to the Mar

Big Travel League leaders Miramar Rangers travelled to Memorial Park to take on The Pope�s Own Marist. Both sides came into the match off big Chatham Cup victories the week before. Miramar fresh from dispatching Wairarapa 4-1 and Marist, who have only managed 8 goals in the league so far, from destroying former Central League big spenders Gisborne City 8-2 at Childers Road.

Miramar was without the suspended defender Shane �The Shanesaw� Medland. Recent signing Jacob Spoonley made his debut for the club in place of Simon Shone, while Peter Halstead was back replacing the injured Graham Mulvey.

Nik Tromp returned to the starting line-up in place of Tony Wall and a reshuffled back four saw Michael Woodside moving into the middle to partner Craig Alderdice, with Allen Chote slotting in at right back.

New Zealand international, and recent signing, Cole Tinkler was relegated to Thommo�s Mar Reserves.
The home side�s last match at Memorial ended in a respectable draw with Olympic. They would look to their Youngheart Manawatu players Daniel Aliaga and Adam Cowan to provide quality opportunities for striker Gustavo Saralegui who scored a hat trick against Gisborne last week. While keeper Andrew Bailey would look to maintain the form which has Marist coach Steve Green believing Bailey could push for higher honours in time. The angry ginger twins Josh and Troy Smith would also look to place their impact upon the game
Miramar held the historical advantage over Marist going into this one having won five out of six encounters since the reintroduction of the Central League in 2005. Marist�s only victory came in a Chatham Cup tie in 2006 when they beat Miramar on pens.

The game started in cloudy conditions on an excellent Memorial park surface. Marist began the game playing long balls over the Miramar defence, and using wingers Josh Smith and Tim Richardson to try and penetrate the Miramar defence.

This tactic caused little trouble for centre backs Alderdice � probably the best defending in the league � and Woodside (who also goes alright).

Miramar opened the scoring in the 5th minute when an Alderdice pass down the left flank found Jamie Farrington (with a nose bleed) in space 35 metres out. He weaved his way (no, seriously) past two Marist �defenders� and then slotted the ball to the left of keeper Andrew Bailey into the back of the net to put Miramar 1-0 up and Farrington into the sort of ecstasy that�s usually coital.

Miramar doubled their lead in the 15th minute when a neat interchange of passes between Nik Tromp and Jeremy Brockie saw Tromp played through into the box. Tromp calmly slotted the ball past keeper Bailey to make 2-0.

Marist had their first opportunity in the 17th minute when a long ball by Josh Smith was played behind the Miramar defence and found Daniel Aliaga and Gustavo Saralegui through on goal. However, hesitation saw Aliaga push his shot wide and in the aftermath Alderdice cleared.

In the 21st minute Gerard Brown was given space down the right flank and delivered a cross that found Michael Eager inside the box. Eager took the ball down on his chest, turned his marker and side-footed past keeper Bailey at the far post to make it 3-0.

Miramar continued to press with the recently returned Colonel being called offside after heading the ball into the net following a Jeremy Brockie cross. A Nik Tromp free kick taken from just outside the box was pushed just past the far post and a sliding Colonel.

Miramar made it 4-0 in the 24th minute when a Gerard Brown cross from the right flank found Jeremy Brockie on the edge on the penalty spot. His looping header flew over the outstretched hand of Baliey and fell under the bar into the net.

Marist was forced to make a substitution in the 28th minute when striker Gustavo Saralegui went off injured and was replaced by Gregory Godoy. In the 38th minute a pinpoint cross from right-back Allen Chote found Tommy Smith inside the box, Smith turned his marker and his powerful shot could only be parried by Bailey into the oncoming path of Brockie who slotted the ball into the back of the net to make it 5-0.

Miramar finished the scoring for the half (and, as it turned out, the game) in the 43rd minute when keeper Jacob Spoonley�s massive goal kick found Jeremy Brockie deep in the Marist half. Brockie then turned and strolled past defenders and delivered a ball to Gerard Brown who rounded Bailey and tucked the ball away into the open net to make it 6-0 at half time.

Miramar coach Graham little made two changes the break with goal scorers Michael Eager and Jamie Farrington replaced by Keiichi Nuygen and Chris Peck respectively. Marist was beginning to show improvement in the second spell. In the 53rdth minute a Gregory Godoy corner found Adam Cowan whose goal bound header was superbly cleared off the line by a leaping Chote. Marist then made a double substitution in the 55th minute bringing off Khair Jones for Dalin Wislon, and Troy Smith for Fin Milne.

Miramar continued to make most of the play in the second half with Peter Halstead and Tommy Smith both putting chances wide. Marist were much more assured coming forward in the second half with former National League player Daniel Aliaga dropping back adding more creativity in the middle.

New signing Jacob Spoonley produced a magnificent one handed save in the 69th minute when he tipped an Adam Cowan shot from outside the box over the bar. As the half wore on right winger Josh Smith made some good attacking runs down the flank but was well contained by Chris Peck.

Miramar made their third and final substitution in the 85th minute when Dominic Rowe came on for Gerard Brown. Rowe had almost an immediate impact with his goal bound header from a Nik Tromp corner tipped over the bar by Bailey.

Referee Matt Bull called time a few minutes later. Miramar stay top and Marist fall into the second-bottom spot. Fortunately their fall is well cushioned by Stop Out.

Stop Out 2-5 Wests. Half time an unbelievable 2-2!

Golly. This one confused the hell out of Park Life�s staff.

Our first text arrived 20 minutes in when $tevie G was sent off for two consecutive brain explosions. The second one � a marvellous grapple tackle on ginger midfielder Roddy Brown � was perhaps the most amusing but it was also the one that broke Stop Out hearts as G was shown his second yellow early on in the match.

$tevie G, now suspended for Stop Out�s next Central League match and unavailable for them in the Chatham Cup, must be one of the top 5 paid players in the League now that his per game fee has shot up with his weeks off.

If the red card antics of the Central League�s answer to the Premiership�s Frank Lampard weren�t enough Stop Out�s goals were just as hysterical.

Both of them came from Suburbs defensive lapses. For the first Fisum Aden pounced on a lazy pass across the backline, finding himself in space on the edge of the box with just Imraaay to beat. Which he did.

For the second, Aden was the benefactor of a Jonny Harahap trick shot. Harahap wound up to clear a bouncing ball on the volley but saw the ball slice off his foot and sit up in the most immaculate way for the on-running Aden.

Reports that Aden continued running past the goal and down to Shell to pick up a Lotto ticket are, we�re told, exaggerated.

Meanwhile a Suburbs outfit in second gear still created plenty of chances. As well as the two they finished their was a workout for superb shot-stopper Sam Bakker in goal and a bit of work also to be done by the woodwork.

One sequence of play in the Stop Out box saw the ball shuttle like a pinball between striker-defender-striker-woodwork-midfielder-Bakker-striker-Bakker-upright-defender-Bakker before going behind for a corner.

Half time rolled around, and so did Park Life correspondents reading their text-a-phone machines, and Matt Calcott brought out the nuclear-powered hairdryer to direct at his young charges.

It worked. Out they came and put the result quickly beyond doubt.

Stop Out keep getting close to a result and the addition of massive Hone Fowler at the back might just give them a sniff of one in the weeks to come.

Petone 2-1 Napier. Half time score forgotten although someone did tell us

Park Life again welcomes someone to give us the half time score. We suspect it was 2-0 to Petone but can�t remember because our writer was too busy enjoying a luke warm toasted sandwich.

Obviously we weren�t there but Napier are a good side and Stu Wilson is in cracking form making this an even better result for Petone.

We�re running out of good things to say about Petone these days. If we carry on any more we�ll sound like we�re part of the ubiquitous Pickering family. Which we�re not, at least to the best of our knowledge.

Petone are good though and if you get a chance to get out and see them then do. While you�re watching count the number of them that were Petone juniors. It really is club football the way it should be.

Shame they keep running out of pies in the shop. There must be a Pickering at fault for that somewhere.

Good to see young fella with long name Tihou knocking one in here. Quite a player young Tihou and he�ll serve Petone well in the future we have no doubt.

And Without Further Ado, The Most Carefully Crafted Park Life Match Report Ever

It�s Saturday, hooray hooray
The �Naki boys have come to play
We�re all here for Central League
A day of excitement and intrigue

The pies are hot, the clubrooms warm
The home punters hope for a return to form
Conditions wet but not too slippery
The southerly wind is cold and whippy

A surprise but welcome guest arrives
Park Life himself in disguise
The scene thus set for a classic match
At Newtown Park the Oranje patch

The Naki show no signs of rust
But Oranje parry their early thrust
Twice Warburton saves one-on-one
The early hero never out done.

At last Oranje start to press
Sam Greene up front relieves the stress
1 nil to Oranje at half time
Playing well although never sublime


The punters manage to have a laugh
We kick off for the 2nd half
Are they happy with what they�ve seen?
Of course they are thanks to Greene

Defensively Oranje sound
The Naki boys have no way round
Oranje press across the board
A penalty the just reward

Gray slams home his first of three
The punters applauding what they see
The monkeys screech the lions roar
The massive crowd cries out for more

Gray again with two more goals
Helps to gladden the punters� souls
Smiles widen as much as able
Three points vital to climb the table

Murphy blows the final whistle
And brings an end to this epistle
Oranje�s win is well deserved
The punters cheers are unreserved

The sun is down, the surroundings dark
Another day over at Newtown Park

Wellington United 4-0 The Naki. Half time: 1-0 but who cares after a report like that!

Huge weekend coming up. If we get our sh*t together we�ll preview it.

Park Life

Excuse my ignorance, Mr Life, but isn't Mr Gulley Major available for the next Chatham Cup round.  I thought it was a two match qualifying period, and 1 match against the Mar, and 23 minutes against Wests would be technically sufficient to meet the requirements.  Do I have it wrong?
Crazy-Horse2008-05-27 22:32:05

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<TD vAlign=top>Throw in a couple of excellent saves by the Western Suburbs 'keeper and a scoreline at least double that actually achieved would have been a fairer indication of the merits of the two sides.

Wairarapa United set the pattern of the game by continually opening up the opposition defences in the first 20 minutes with slick passing and diligent support of the ball carrier.Seldom in that period did Western Suburbs actally venture into their half and when they did their lack of speed and precision up front was patently exposed.

The first Wairarapa United goal came after Waisake Sabatu intercepted a Western Suburbs pass and gave Seule Soromon the chance to run onto the ball with only the 'keeper to beat. He easily rounded him and casually placed the ball in the back of the net.

Wairarapa United went two goals up when a well-timed pass from Anton Ross again gave Soromon the opportunity to display his finishing expertise and he made no mistake.

Frustrated by the ease at which Wairarapa United were making big gains on attack Western Suburbs

packed their defence over the latter stages oif the first spell and consequently they often had to battle a congested penalty box.Even then. however,scoring chances were created if not utilised.

The second spell was pretty much a repeat of the first with Wairarapa United always looking the more likely attacking unit and Western Suburbs struggling to keep the score to within reasonable bounds.

The only goal in this half came when Soromon completed his hattrick by heading home a neatly-placed cross from Sakeo Valevou but in terms of territory and possession it was again very much

one way traffic.

Several Wairarapa United players had strong games,none more so than Waisake Sabatu who positioned himself cleverly on defence, was seldom beaten in the air and always looked to have time on his hands when in possession of the ball.

Also impressing for their solidity in defensive situations were James Oxtoby and Carl Shailer while Miriek Tuaroh was an imposing figure in midfield,linking well with the likes of Pita Rabo, Ross and the ever dangerious Soromon on attack and pulling off several telling tackles.

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Wairarapa Times...

Print when you're winning, you only print when you're winning...

[QUOTE=Park Life]

Petone 2-1 Napier. Half time score forgotten although someone did tell us

2-0 it was. Greek OG on loan scoring the second. Wonder who he will turn out for this week at Newtown.

Embarrassing to say it, but the luke warm sandwiches and the shortage of pies is a result of exceptionally large crowds. If you want a pie you really should go midweek where we have about 1500 just watching the grass grow on #1. As for the toasties, well, by half time, the kitchen staff are already working on catering for the crowds that turn out on Sunday to watch one of the Pickerings peg the gear on the clothes line.

Yes it is a self made youthful team, Petone. No truth in the rumour that Napisan made a major bid to buy out Davis Trading namng rights this week, but Petone have always had the reputation of being "The Young Ones With The Sweet Taste Of Surprise". (Bit Like West Ham really).
As for the long names, I recall the days when it used to take until half time to read out the Olympic team card.

While you�re watching count the number of them that were Petone juniors. It really is club football the way it should be.
Not a lot of interference from the colleges in the Hutt Valley. The same could probably be said for Stopout and Lower Hutt.

Great report Park life but just want to clarify one point:

 

I was at the game and Stop Out 2nd Goal was not down to a defensive error by West. It was down to quality attacking play by Stop Out.  The ball was played out left to Scott Miller who switches play back into the middle to Garry McDermott. Garry managed to get between two West�s Midfielders to play a thru ball to John MacKay. John had the initial shot which was partially stopped by Imray. Fisum Aden was on hand to bundle the ball home.

 

Also in relation to Crazy Horse�s question. Steve is ineligible because he has not played the 2 required qualification games. . The rules state that you have to be register at a club 7 days before your 1st qualification game. As Steve was not register 7 days before the Miramar game the Miramar game does not count as a qualifying game. Therefore the West game counted as his 1st qualifying game and he needed to play against PN Marist this weekend in order to qualify for Monday�s game against Petone in the Chatham Cup.

 

I hope this clarifies the situation.

We stand corrected.  Apologies to John "Crouchy" MacKay for not giving credit where it was due!

Hope we got the second goal description right though because by all accounts it was hilarious!

PL.

Did PL have an english poetry assignment due this week or something?

The description I gave was for the 2nd goal . Didn't see the 1st goal .

Yes Thanks.  So the Wednesday signing was too late.   I didn't know about the  7 days issue.

Win 'step in the right direction' says Keinzley

These articles really should specify that the teams are Western Suburbs, Miramar Rangers and Lower Hutt 2nds shouldnt they?

 

The Clash of 2 vs 3 as Olympic Host Petone at Newtown Park
Newtown Park, Newtown, 2.30pm

Make sure youm get down early for the Curtain Raiser!

Marist must beat battling Stop Out

Valevou gears up for 50th match

Some massive results already today in the Central League.

Wests 0-5 Napier City Rovers.
Petone 3-1 Olympic.
Miramar 4-0 Wellington United.

Anyone got the others?

CENTRAL MEN:

Miramar Rangers       4    Wellington United     0
Jeremy Brockie     1
Peter Halstead     3


Stop Out              0    Palm Nth Marist       4
                           Adam Cowan         1
                           Josh Smith         1
                           Tim Richardson     1
                           Pablo Jackson      1


Western Suburbs       0    Napier City Rovers    5
                           Sam Messam         3
                           Stu Wilson         1
                           Rudy Baufeind      1


Olympic               1    Petone                3
Raf De Gregorio    1       Mark Manzonie      1
                           John Winkworth     1
                           Mike Pickering     1


Team Taranaki         2    Lower Hutt City       1
Matt Kelbrick      1       Pedro Garcias      1
Tyson Brandt       1


                                      P  W  D  L  GF  GA  Pts   W%
Miramar Rangers          8  6  2  0     28   5  20  75.0
Petone                          8  5  1  2     12   5  16  62.5
Napier City Rovers       8  4  3  1     22  11  15  50.0
Olympic                         8  4  1  3     21  15  13  50.0
Lower Hutt City             8  3  2  3     23  15  11  37.5
Western Suburbs          8  3  2  3    13  16  11  37.5
Team Taranaki              8  3  1  4     7  16  10  37.5
Wellington United         8  3  0  5      9  14   9  37.5
Palm Nth Marist            8  1  4  3     12  18   7  12.5
Stop Out                       8  0  0  8     7  39   0   0.0

CHAMPS PREMIER:

Lower Hutt City       0    Wairarapa United      4
                           Sulie Soloman       2
                           Paul Gregory        1
                           Peta Rabo           1


Marist                0    Kapiti Coast United   5
                           Richard Imber       1
                           Matt Needham        1
                           Tony Mienam         1
                           Lawrence Fay        2


Waterside Karori      2    Tawa                  3
Not Supplied               Own Goal           1
                           Peter Withers      1
                           Jamie Sharp        1



Upper Hutt City       1    Island Bay United     1
Andy Le Prou       1       Unknown             1

Sunday
Western Suburbs       _    Miramar Rangers       _


                                   P  W  D  L  GF  GA  Pts   W%
Tawa                           8  6  1  1  21  12     19  75.0
Wairarapa United       8  5  0  3  21   9      15  62.5
Island Bay United       8  4  3  1  17   9      15  50.0
Waterside Karori        7  4  1  2  14  12     13  57.1
Kapiti Coast United    8  4  0  4  23  17      12  50.0
Upper Hutt City          8  3  2  3  16  13     11  37.5
Miramar Rangers        7  3  1  3  10  16     10  42.9
Marist                         8  1  3  4   9  15       6  12.5
Lower Hutt City          8  1  3  4   9  22       6  12.5
Western Suburbs       6  0  0  6   3  18       0   0.0
Pitbull2008-05-31 17:18:12

I think you'll find we have predicted only one game correctly in the entire Big Travel League round.

That is a record even for us!

Upset city!

Scorers for Waterslide were Mike Greene and Flavio de Souza Campos.

Apparently the pitch was immaculate.

HUGE!

Worth every penny of our rates then LVP1?

wellington united look like they're wearing citystop uniforms.

bit of a dicey performance today from the mirimar defence. one yellow from a certain centre back. a nice return from the shanesaw after his suspension and appearance for the phoenix. chainsaw noises of encouragement from the stands everytime he had the ball.


there's nothing dicey going on here

miramar were fairly average

Hard News>
Your thread predicting that Petone would be 5th after this weekend seems to have been mysteriously deleted.
1. Miramar Rangers             8  6  2  0     28   5  20  75.0
2. Vacant Spot
3. Unoccupied
4. No One Home
5. Petone                            8  5  1  2     12   5  16  62.5
6. Napier City Rovers          8  4  3  1     22  11  15  50.0
7. Olympic                            8  4  1  3     21  15  13  50.0
8. Lower Hutt City               8  3  2  3     23  15  11  37.5
9. Western Suburbs            8  3  2  3     13  16  11  37.5
10. Team Taranaki              8  3  1  4       7  16  10  37.5
11. Wellington United         8  3  0  5        9  14   9  37.5
12. Palm Nth Marist            8  1  4  3      12  18   7  12.5
13. Stop Out                       8  0  0  8       7  39   0   0.0

Ye of little faith.
uiron2008-06-01 11:29:39

Not me uiron.

I predict nothing on local football.

Apologies HN. Nightz it was on the CL Results thread.

I new you were to smart to make such a prediction.

That's almost traitorous from him, seeing as he plays for Petone.

  Yes it was me.

the young french dude from wellington united is called hugo, got some damn classy footwork but think hes a bit wary of the physical stuff here.

Part Two of this Preposterously Large Long Weekend
Sunday June 1 2008

Park Life is the Fever's sweaty drunken hand on the breast of local football and after a weekend of ludicrous Big Travel League upsets we can't wait for tomorrow's Big "Rigged Draw" Cup round!

Phar Lap Meets Mr T as Sam Messam Spanks Wests

Never, since the infamous spit roast incident of 2001, has Park Life been caught by surprise quite as much as we were yesterday at Endeavour Park.

Regular readers will remember that we picked the scoreline in this one to be "something-nil" and we were right, but while we were expecting Wests to win this one comfortably, Napier had other ideas.

We were initially surprised to see midfield hard man Shaun Van Rooyen and central defender Tim Shaeffers � both age group international campers � left on the bench. We were even more surprised to see not only Cole Peverly but also Sam "The Horse" Messam playing for the Rovers.

For those of you unfamiliar with Messam's work he is a fellow who throws monstrous amounts of tin around at the gym. He makes Beach Muscles Peter Howe look like Mr Puniverse. He is enormous, and plays up front. Yellow Fever nutcases will have watched him playing the Phoenix at Porirua Park the other night. Others of you will get a solid mental picture of him if you picture Phar Lap meets Mr T.

The surprises kept on coming as Wests put on some comedy defending to gift a couple of goals to The Horse and Stu Wilson.

Wests absolutely dominated parts of this match with smart play through the midfield but struggled to find a quality effort on goal. Napier on the other hand had all the killer instinct in the world and made the most of just about every chance they had. The Horse Messam was in and amongst everything and missed a couple of chances as well as banging in his hat trick.

The scoreline is unfair to Suburbs in many respects. They had the lion's share of possession and their midfield showed class throughout but a shortage of options going forward and some surprisingly poor defending against good opposition resulted in the scoreline blowout that's been giving everyone in Wellington football the giggles since.

Tomorrow the Wilsons have to take on the might of the IBU Sharks at Endeavour Park. It's a return to his old stomping ground for Nate Winkel and Wests have a real point to prove after their outing against Rovers.

The Souvlaki Goes Sour at Petone

From the reports Park Life hear this was indeed the game to be at this round. It's also the only result we picked correctly in the entire round.

Petone � mysteriously missing former All White glove man Jim Bannatyne � went ahead early through a Mark Manzonie free kick that curled around the Greek wall and into the top corner leaving Sasha Nathu stood still and watching.

Best and Fairest Raf got them back level though when he won an undeniable penalty. Slotting it himself to bring the scores back level.

Soon after he lived up to his Best and Fairest Award when he put the helmet on and bobsledded poor little Ben Dawson. The resulting red not only increased Keith Palmer's bonus this month but also changed the game completely.

We suspect it was just a clever plan to avoid having to play at Redwood Park tomorrow!

Missing their main man in midfield Olympic began to struggle. John Winkworth scored from a cut back to make it 2-1 at half time.

The second half was a tense affair but the extra man made it increasingly easy for Petone and while Olympic worked hard they struggled to create chances against a resolute Petone defence.

Petone eventually snatched another one through Mike "Just Another" Pickering to make it 3-1 and that's how it stayed.

In the Big Cup tomorrow Petone welcome a battered and relegated Stop Out to the increasingly muddy Petone Memorial. Stop Out might be looking to the Big Cup to gain some respectability but having only narrowly progressed to this round past Div 3 Eastbourne you'd have to expect them to get knocked out tomorrow. Petone on the other hand have the potential to put on a great Big Cup run and challenge the big boys.

Olympic have the misery of Redwood Park to look forward to. The mighty Tawa sit proudly atop the Champs Premier League and will fancy themselves for an upset at home on a mudfest of a pitch.

If you were putting your money on an unexpected outcome you'd pick Tawa to knock Olympic out.

"Correspondent: Hi Park Life, it's XXX here, the final score was Taranaki 2, Lower Hutt 1.
Park Life: F**k off. Stop joking around and give me the score."

But it was no jest. Taranaki recorded the most improbably result of the round by upsetting Brendan McIntyre's LHAFC 2-1 in New Plymouth.

While Napier would have spent the entire return bus journey to Napier drinking furiously from a keg of Lion Brown in the back Lower Hutt would have spent the entire flight back to Wellington in silence after getting picked over by a Taranaki side who were spanked 4-0 by the Oranje last week.

This preposterous result catapults Team Naki to 4th bottom above struggling Wellington United, Palmy and Stop Out.

Lower Hutt have another tough assignment tomorrow when they welcome Wellington Marist � not to be confused with their Manawatu-dwelling Papist Cousins the Pope's Own Marist � to Bell Park.

Last year Marist knocked Lower Hutt out of the Big Cup at this stage but to be honest we can't see it happening again this year. Marist took an absolute tonking at the hands of KCU yesterday, going down 5-0.

Lower Hutt will be looking to bounce back strongly from yesterday's defeat and you just can't see Marist � who only just overcame schoolboy opposition in the last round � doing the business in this one.

Team Taranaki get a break because they don't enter the Chatham Cup and most of their constituent clubs have already been knocked out of the Central Region Big Cup.

Rangers Too Good for Oranje

Ever so quietly you can hear alarm bells starting to ring at Newtown Park. A team that started the season well with a strong run in the Hilton Petone and lots of chatter about their potential have now crumbled to sit third to bottom with only 9 points to show from a possible 24.

Behind the scenes cheques are being written to try and attract players to the club who might shore things up and ensure that the mighty Oranje don't slip down into the relegation zone.

One new face came into the squad yesterday: a mysterious French striker who � apparently � wasn't Thierry Henry. He also apparently wasn't up to much as the Oranje capitulated to a Miramar side who score goals for fun these days.

Big Bad Brockie again in the goals but it was the Colonel � Pete Halstead � who made his mark on the game with a hat trick against his former College 1st XI coach Rossco Durant.

Tommy Smith With An I yet again not able to get on the score sheet.

Tomorrow Miramar travel to the Aquadrome to face Karori in the Big Cup. This one is Park Life's pick of the round.

Not lining up for either side will be Wiremu Patrick who, while he has crossed town to play for the Wharf in the League has refused to don the Magpie's colours in the Cup in case he Cup Ties himself. He's obviously hoping for a call up if the Mar make it through to the later rounds. He's also obviously not predicting a Wharfies win.

Neither are we.

Although having said that club stalwart Mike Greene was in fine form today in a Phoenix shirt against a visiting Chinese XI, scoring two and setting up none (he doesn't pass much).

Wellington United get Monday off.

Stop Out Love the Bottom

Poor anal puns aside this was Stop Out's big chance to prove that they are changing direction and will no longer be the easy beats of the league.

Bummer dude.

Goals to Adam Cowan, Josh Smith, Tim Richardson, and Pablo Escobar-Jackson condemned Stop Out to another massive defeat and trod mud into their already disconsolate faces.

We'd love to hear anyone's reports on how Hone Fowler went in this one. We couldn't get anyone to cover it for us�

Big Cup Summary � What to Watch

So your games to watch tomorrow � all kick offs are 2pm � are:

How many will Miramar score? Will Greenie get sent off? Has Woody picked the wrong club? How many inches of water will the pitch be under? Find out: Waterside Karori vs Miramar Rangers at the Aquadrome (Karori Park).

Will Sasha Nathu sink in mud up to his neck at Redwood Park? Can the Greeks recover from yesterday's unexpected loss? Will they manage without Raf? Will he show he cares by turning up to watch? Will anyone? You'll see if you turn up to: Tawa vs Olympic at Redwood Park in Tawa.

Reports from other matches welcome.

Also keep an eye on the Umbro Match of the Month thread to see last month's winner announced this week.

Enjoy your Preposterously Large Weekend Monday, we'll see you sideline.

Park Life

News Flash: allegedly Peverly is signing for Stop Out?  Does that mean Park Life was mistaken when we thought we saw him play for Napier?

If so we will flog ourselves ruthlessly.

The Souvlaki Goes Sour at Petone