that what happens when your striker trys to score on and off the field lol
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Park Life: We'd like to take a moment to point out our phenomenal accuracy so far. Be impressed. Thank you. Now, this week:
Wellington United 1 Palm Nth Marist 2
Miramar Rangers 2 Napier City Rovers 2
Wairarapa United 1 Western Suburbs 3
Taranaki 2 Petone 3
LowerHutt City 1 Olympic 1 (note: could be 1-6 or 6-1 depending on who goes
bananas first. Or if nobody does, defo a draw)Until next week then! Park Life Don't forget to pick up a Parky at a Park near you.
Wellington United 1 Palm Nth Marist 2
Miramar Rangers 2 Napier City Rovers 2
Wairarapa United 1 Western Suburbs 3
Taranaki 2 Petone 3
LowerHutt City 1 Olympic 1 (note: could be 1-6 or 6-1 depending on who goes
bananas first. Or if nobody does, defo a draw)Until next week then! Park Life Don't forget to pick up a Parky at a Park near you.
lets see how parky did this week?
wellington united 3 palm nrth 3 wrong
the mar 3 rangers 2 wrong
fiji 1 wilson 1 wrong
naki 1 petone 1 wrong
hut 3 bubbles 3 wrong score but right reslut
parky however was very close with only 1 goal out, better luck next week, frankie mac will take some confidence out of that
I take no confidence from the fact that Parky is an idiot.
All I do is make the stuff I would've liked
Reference things I wanna watch, reference girls I wanna bite
Now I'm firefly like a burning kite
And yousa fake fuck like a fleshlight
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Shut Up Frankie...
Park Life is Fever's finger on local football's pulse.
We're doing it on you from all directions today as we preview everything from Cap 14 to the Big Travel League with a little bit of something from Lower Hutt's Reserves getting a hammering from top of the table Railwaymen FC to a preview of Andy Barron and Jim Bannatyne warming up to mark La Furia Roja players like Fernando Torres and Xavi by marking Wellington United's Hachim Kamri and Ben Fredrickson.
It should prove an exciting weekend and you can read about it here, in our spam email, and in print in your local clubrooms. Park Life, we get at you from all angles!
Wellington Marist "Locked and" Loaded (and) ready to take on North Wellington's Sinners (Capital 14)
The numerically higher, but aesthetically lower, grades of Capital Football provide opportunities for some epic clashes every week. Capital 14 is no different, with results ranging from 3-3 draws, to 2-1 nail bitters, to 5-0 thrashings. This weekend's clash between Marist Loaded and North Wellington Sinners is more likely to be the latter than either of the former.
The Sinners have been enjoying a rich run of form lately. Two weeks ago a 6-2 victory, followed up with a 5-0 demolition of last season's fierce rivals, and unnecessarily dramatically named, IBU Rampage.
Marist Loaded are also coming off the back of a good run though: a 4-2 win over Island Bay Piglets on the rocks with a 4-1 victory over Uni Flamingos chaser.
Based on this we can expect an excellent attacking clash between these two teams. The Sinners are 3 points ahead of Loaded in Cap 14, sitting third on 9 points, but have scored more goals (16 to 10) and conceded less (10 to 16), so will be expecting to win and win comfortably this weekend at Cobham.
This weekend's match will be a vital opportunity for summer signing Bartlett to shine again. Having scored a hatrick in each of the Sinner's last two outings, this will be a superb opportunity for him to take the lead on the North Wellington golden boot award (and prove quality over fluke). Centre-half Armstrong, Striker Bridge, and Winger Kindy Boyd will also be looking to continue their outstanding combinations. Moir will also have the opportunity to continue his lavish form between the sticks after an injury prone season last year. Captain Kingsbury will be desperate to make up for a couple of missed opportunities this season and looking to evade those phantom defenders that seem to beat him at the last minute.
We're picking: a goalfest on the bobbly pock-marked surface that is Cobham Park (how is this even a football pitch by the way!). Sinners to give Loaded a Hell of a time and unleash hellfire and brimstone in all directions. Loaded to feel like they're pushing a rock uphil for eternity. Get to Cobham to witness Loaded 1-4 Sinners from 12.30
Fozzie's Petone Muppets host Captain Edward Smith's Oranje (Central League)
Wellington Titanic United pack their bags and buckets, and travel the short journey up State Highway 2 towards Petone Memorial. Both sides are coming off a draw last week in very different circumstances. The Oranje sprung out to a 3-0 halftime lead before an Olympic style self implosion (yes Park Life realises this is a photo of an explosion) let Pope's Own share the spoils. Fozzie's Muppets however, conceded a late goal in an equally disappointing draw with Team Taranaki.
In the corresponding figure last season Petone came away with all three points, but not before Paul Whitmarsh tested his chokeslam wrestling move on full back Andy Johnstone. Petone will have their sights set on three points to remain in touch with the big two before the Big Travel League breaks for round 2 of the Big Cup. The Oranje will instead look to stay afloat for another week before a moral boosting victory or season ending defeat at the hands of KCU next week.
Either way, spectators are guaranteed to see Bannatyne trade in the frypan hands for Cryuff turns at one end of the park, and Oranje Goalkeeper 'Disastrous' Dale throwing them in at the other end. Rumours floating around Wellington suggest Chris 'Wakachangchang' Chang will challenge Mike Pickering to a 'Screech off' to determine the undisputed lookalike. Turn up early and you'll even get a chance to give Fever's Guy Smith a 'sit down, shut up' following his disastrous election attempt to CF Board, while also watching his kids get manhandled by Wellington Wahine United.
We're picking: Hicham Kamri to add 6 further goals to his tally this season, although it won't be enough for the Oranje as the Blue over-run about 9-6. For those punters out there, pick a 2-2 draw for a roughie.
Rangers Journey to Palmerston Catholics (Central League)
Miramar Rangers take their first bus ride north this season to take on rock bottom and winless Popes own Palmy North Marist at the Memorial Park Velodrome this Saturday. The best thing about Marist this year is surely their home ground. The pitch is usually in great nick, unlike their team who have only knicked two points from eighteen. Propping up the bottom of the table, Palmy have produced the odd result against Miramar in the past few seasons with a couple of draws, last season however it was a 6 nil drubbing at Memorial and this weekend could be much the same.
Rangers ground out a deserved come from behind win last week against Napier in ex-coach G Little's last game. John Cameron assumes the position as head coach this week and has a great opportunity to kick start part two of his Miramar coaching career with a win. "Dolph" was assistant coach to Barry Truman in 1992 when Barry decided to go on a skiing trip the same weekend as the Chatham Cup Final, the odd fella that he was.
Success that day meant that John got a Chatham Cup winner's medal as a coach under his belt. 17 years later he'll be having a crack at repeating that feat, but not before he takes on his first assignment of Marist away.
Brian Little (a bit like Barry Truman in that no one can understand him) will be absent this week for the Mar as he himself will be taking a skiing trip. Michael White is also doubtful with a sore leg. Dylan Hall could be returning to the sticks as the new coach may opt for more experience in goal. The word is that Palmy has no one notable coming into a largely un-notable line up. Joe Bloggs has scored a couple of their ten goals and Mr Nobody in goal has let in 21. They will be desperate to get something out of this game at home though, and perhaps take themselves clear of the relegation zone with Wellington United travelling to Petone.
We're picking: A slightly under strength Miramar to comfortably knock over the Pope's Finest, but Mar's leaky defence to make hard work of it. 5-2 Mar. Odds on bet that Mar players will get their tackles out (or naked) on the bus ride home. The Colonel will almost certainly be lurking with a camera. Keep an eye on Facebook.
Wilson Suburbs vs newly relegated Norwich (Central League)
This week sees one of the big travel leagues hottest rivalries (at least of late) as Wilson Suburbs hosts Lower Hutt. Both sides coming off tough draws last week this promises to be a big bang with out the bang of late for both sides. Lower Hutt will be without Phoenix trialist Luis "I'm too 'big time' for you Sam Blackburn Corrales who started his battle with West Auckland based Krishna this week. While news is not good for Wilson with star centre back and last weeks goal scorer Jack Pelter possibly unavailable due to a bereavement.
This could prove to be a double win for Hutt if Calcott moves Mike "please wave as you pass by" Smith into the heart of the defence as cover, potentially leaving an Ardennes sized gap in the Wilson Suburbs defensive fortifications.
With Hutt struggling for players this year while Wests can afford to banish the Chilean prodigies and Jake Theron to the bench, there is a high chance that it could be the Hutt players that struggle to buy a pint in the Endeavour clubrooms rather than the Wilson boys! That being said this game also boasts the match up of two of Team Wellington's goalkeepers and Parky is sure that it will come down to them this week.
We're picking: that choosing a winner in this is as easy for Parky to pick as his nose as Wilson Suburbs send Lower Hutt down as quickly as Norwich went - Wilson Suburbs by two or three.
Bubbles Birthday Bash welcomes troubled travellers Taranaki (Central league)
This week the leagues best travellers visit Newtown and get twice the bubbles they bargained for! The best Olympic players over the past 50 years are welcomed back this Sunday as they play a celebratory match at mid day. This is the weekend of the year for the Bubbles that sees the return of stars such as Ian Minshull, Ian 'cavey' Cave and Nick 'the knife' Halikias as well as a playground and sandpit for the kids, or any number of the Bubbles players during their game.
The Naki on the other hand picked up another valuable point against Petone last weekend proving again that they have been learning if nothing else in the past two years, also showing the fighting spirit that has seen them score three goals in the last five minutes on three separate occasions.
The Bubbles have had five draws this year and have looked one of the best teams in the league (says our completely unbiased contributor - Ed) but a mixture of ill discipline and poor finishing has seen them muster only one win in six.
We're picking: be sure to pop down as the Bubbles go all out for their 50 years, and while they're there put five or six past the Naki for the first hiding of the season!
Wet Wakeflield to Wash away Naenae's newfound Nerve. (Champs Premier)
After a pair of similar results last week - incredibly lucky wins - the Island Bay Salty Dogs play host to the boys from the Hutt Valley's most upwardly mobile suburb (it's not like you could aspire to be below Naenae on the social pecking order). The Salty Dogs won a battle at the Harcourt badlands where Wayne Rooker on his own could have come close to beating them, while the Naenae boys did their best to fail to pick up three points against the Lower Hutt Creche but stole a winner in injury time.
This week the Salty Dogs will welcome Dave Rutherford back from his traditional (every second) week off and will no doubt be helping club funds by running a sweep on what minute he will see his Red card this week. Meanwhile Thal Theodorou will continue in the centre of defence after he appears to have overshot the Olympic clubrooms while heading South and ended up in Island Bay. Oh, and Jamie Milne is still perpetually crocked.
Continuing in goal will be the Phoenix's own shop boy, who must by now be wondering just how badly he has to play to be dropped.
Naenae will probably see little change with a lot resting on the shoulders of Scouse scoring sensation Jamie Henders and hopes that the others can keep up. Henders will however have to keep an eye over his shoulder as his captain Simon Hall is sneaking up on his league goal tally and should provide a warning to sides not to think it's all about the Scouse hubcap 'finder'.
Like Island Bay, the keeping could be the weakest link but Naenae keeper Brad Topp had his best game of the season by some margin last week and the side will be hoping that form continues.
We're Picking : Island Bay 2-1. Simon Hall to get one for Naenae and in a miracle of loaves and fishes proportions (or of winter football not cancelled on Karori Park proportions) our Granville to actually make a couple of saves.
Lowest In The League Hutt City versus Pulling Out all the Stops To Get Back Into Big Travel League Stop Out (Champs Premier)
Top meets oh so horribly bottom this week in Champs Premier League in a game more lopsided than Tara Reid's breasts.
Stop Out are flying like tourists out of Mexico in the League, thanks to a resounding 4-1 victory over perennial League bridesmaids the Dutch republic of Tawa last weekend. Lower Hutt City's football ability has been in quarantine the last few weeks, a 1-0 loss to Naenae last round certainly highlighting the dire situation that faces everyone involved at Bell Park.
Scotty East 'No HOPE of avoiding relegation' will try to convince Luis Corrales that the Phoenix aren't all that great and that helping his club's Reserve team will be much more rewarding morally.
We're picking: Lower Hutt City to have at least one sent off and Stop Out to come away with a 2 goal margin victory to stay top of the Premier League on goal difference. Precipitation is likely this weekend so bring your togs and take your family along to Karori Park. Mike Greene is lifeguard on duty for:
Wharfies Swim team vs KCU Surf Lifesaving club (Champs Premier)
Controversy is the key word as Wharfies host KCU at Neptune's Playground this weekend. The protest flags will be flying like a Navy signalman on whippits as there are already rumours of both crews making radical changes to their hull designs leading into this regatta. The Scuttlebutt is Wharfies have extended the wings on their keel by 2 inches and opted for a bowsprit giving them extra length, throwing caution to the wind in the light of New Zealand's 1992 America's Cup challenge. KCU however have gone for a radical 8-hulled Octomaran design, insiders saying the design was driven by some more superstitious members of the team after their 8-0 embarrassment against Miramar Reserves last weekend.
With Wharfies climbing the Capital Premier and Fever Club Championships tables slowly but surely, and KCU all-at-sea against Miramar Reserves last weekend, you could steer the KZ-1 Big Boat through the gap between these two teams on the confidence scale. Karori will be looking to skipper Jimmy Hill to provide the creative spark, and maybe nab a goal himself against what will be a KCU team looking for redemption. Adam Crump will be looking to carry on his purple patch after sneaking one under the keeper against Wests last week. Lastly, the pinch-hitter Michael Greene will be playing off the bench after turning out for the Dreamers earlier in the day. So many reasons to get down to the Aquadrome for what should be a thrilling affair weather-permitting.
We're picking: Waterslide Karori by 3 boat lengths
Other fixtures this week in Champs Premier League are Tawadaam vs Western Suburbs 8th Grade Typhoons and 8 goal Rangers vs Wayne Rooker City .
Brooklyn Northern v Wainuiomata (Capital 4)
This week, a less than extraordinary clash between Wellington's number one resettlement club, and the lads from Nappy Valley. These two teams aren't really setting the competition alight, but one hopes that they're embracing the Kiwi-sport ethos that we all learnt at school. Assuming these guys went to school...
Wainui have experienced a yoyo couple of years. They were the whipping boys of Capital 4 in 2007, ending the season with 3 points, and a negative 86 goal differential. However, they managed to turn things around last season, topping Capital 5 ahead of current Capital 4 frontrunners (and neighbours, sort of) Petone Armanis.
Our scouts tell us that Brooklyn's lost a few players over the break, though they're sitting in roughly the same place as they finished last season. There have been some suggestions that Murray McCully's proposed changes to NZ's foreign policy may have affected BNU's ability to recruit more than other clubs. These allegations are yet to be confirmed, but Parky's aware of a significant reduction in the number of $100 bills being thrown out of helicopters, which may affect the club's income stream.
Wainui's physical (read brutal) style, and ruthless organisation, is likely to secure them the win. Parky has it on good authority that BNU attempted to ban Wainui from Wakefield park due to unruly behaviour by previous sports groups. However, a brief visit by the opposition spokesperson responsible for putting the boot in (and conveniently, MP for Wainuiomata) led to a quiet 180 on that approach.
We're Picking: 2-0 to Wainui on this one. Not sure if anyone outside Capital 4 cares...
Upper Hutt City vs Waikanae (Capital 3)
Upper Hutt are snapping at the heels of leaders Tawa, their only reverse coming against the table-toppers, so must start as favourites to win against mid-table Waikanae at Harcourt Wembley.
With both teams having a mixture of youth and experience in their squads, with Waikanae having plenty of pace in midfield and up front to trouble any team's defensive line, their main weakness being a relatively poor goals to chances created ratio. Upper Hutt will look to exploit the aerially powerful Waikanae defence on the deck by outmanoeuvring their "tall timber" with quick passing and movement from their more nimble strike force.
We're Picking: Upper Hutt to be too strong for a willing Waikanae side, coming out on top 2-0.
Parkies wimmin's Correspondent previews a big weekend (Wimmin's Premier League)
Premier Wimmin's league this weekend see some tasty match-ups including a top-a-the-table showdown. The league with a massive seven teams kicks off with Nuns Own Marist against the pride of the Western Suburbs - the Wharfettes. Marist come to the game on the back of dealing Mar a whooping thanks to five goals from Alice Ireton. Wharfies coach Mike Greene will be relishing some friendly banter with Brian 'Angry Scotsman' Blellock, and will be looking for his team to add to their impressive goal tally through Renee Leota and Hannah 'Wonder' Wall in this Gallagher v Albarnesque encounter.
Massey University meanwhile host the Mar in what should be an easy victory for the under-rated Tractor Girls.
Expect Lower Hutt's keeper to be visiting her chiropractor again next week after picking the ball out of the net after playing Upper Hutt in the northern derby.
Seatoun 'We used to be good' AFC get a rest this week after suffering their second loss of the season in their Centenary year.
We're tipping: Karori to take out Massey 3-1 and Brian to be dragged away screaming by men in white coats. Massey to plough Mar 4-1, and Upper Hutt to have the upper hand and upper cut Lower Hutt 4-1. Seatoun will be searching the history books to see if in fact last year was their centenary year.
Parky's Crystal Ball
CENTRAL LEAGUE (SATURDAY 2.30pm):
Palm Nth Marist 0 Miramar Rangers 8 Farrington Field (2.45)
Petone 4 Wellington United 2 Petone Memorial
Western Suburbs 2 Lower Hutt City 2 Endeavour Park
(SUNDAY 2pm):
Olympic 3 Taranaki 1 Newtown Park
Napier City Rovers 1 Wairarapa United 2 Park Island
Until next week then...
Park Life
Hard News2009-05-08 10:08:43
Park Life is Fever's finger on local football's pulse.
We're doing it on you from all directions today as we preview everything from Cap 14 to the Big Travel League with a little bit of something from Lower Hutt's Reserves getting a hammering from top of the table Railwaymen FC to a preview of Andy Barron and Jim Bannatyne warming up to mark La Furia Roja players like Fernando Torres and Xavi by marking Wellington United's Hachim Kamri and Ben Fredrickson.
It should prove an exciting weekend and you can read about it here, in our spam email, and in print in your local clubrooms. Park Life, we get at you from all angles!
Wellington Marist "Locked and" Loaded (and) ready to take on North Wellington's Sinners (Capital 14)
The numerically higher, but aesthetically lower, grades of Capital Football provide opportunities for some epic clashes every week. Capital 14 is no different, with results ranging from 3-3 draws, to 2-1 nail bitters, to 5-0 thrashings. This weekend's clash between Marist Loaded and North Wellington Sinners is more likely to be the latter than either of the former.
The Sinners have been enjoying a rich run of form lately. Two weeks ago a 6-2 victory, followed up with a 5-0 demolition of last season's fierce rivals, and unnecessarily dramatically named, IBU Rampage.
Marist Loaded are also coming off the back of a good run though: a 4-2 win over Island Bay Piglets on the rocks with a 4-1 victory over Uni Flamingos chaser.
Based on this we can expect an excellent attacking clash between these two teams. The Sinners are 3 points ahead of Loaded in Cap 14, sitting third on 9 points, but have scored more goals (16 to 10) and conceded less (10 to 16), so will be expecting to win and win comfortably this weekend at Cobham.
This weekend's match will be a vital opportunity for summer signing Bartlett to shine again. Having scored a hatrick in each of the Sinner's last two outings, this will be a superb opportunity for him to take the lead on the North Wellington golden boot award (and prove quality over fluke). Centre-half Armstrong, Striker Bridge, and Winger Kindy Boyd will also be looking to continue their outstanding combinations. Moir will also have the opportunity to continue his lavish form between the sticks after an injury prone season last year. Captain Kingsbury will be desperate to make up for a couple of missed opportunities this season and looking to evade those phantom defenders that seem to beat him at the last minute.
We're picking: a goalfest on the bobbly pock-marked surface that is Cobham Park (how is this even a football pitch by the way!). Sinners to give Loaded a Hell of a time and unleash hellfire and brimstone in all directions. Loaded to feel like they're pushing a rock uphil for eternity. Get to Cobham to witness Loaded 1-4 Sinners from 12.30
Fozzie's Petone Muppets host Captain Edward Smith's Oranje (Central League)
Wellington Titanic United pack their bags and buckets, and travel the short journey up State Highway 2 towards Petone Memorial. Both sides are coming off a draw last week in very different circumstances. The Oranje sprung out to a 3-0 halftime lead before an Olympic style self implosion (yes Park Life realises this is a photo of an explosion) let Pope's Own share the spoils. Fozzie's Muppets however, conceded a late goal in an equally disappointing draw with Team Taranaki.
In the corresponding figure last season Petone came away with all three points, but not before Paul Whitmarsh tested his chokeslam wrestling move on full back Andy Johnstone. Petone will have their sights set on three points to remain in touch with the big two before the Big Travel League breaks for round 2 of the Big Cup. The Oranje will instead look to stay afloat for another week before a moral boosting victory or season ending defeat at the hands of KCU next week.
Either way, spectators are guaranteed to see Bannatyne trade in the frypan hands for Cryuff turns at one end of the park, and Oranje Goalkeeper 'Disastrous' Dale throwing them in at the other end. Rumours floating around Wellington suggest Chris 'Wakachangchang' Chang will challenge Mike Pickering to a 'Screech off' to determine the undisputed lookalike. Turn up early and you'll even get a chance to give Fever's Guy Smith a 'sit down, shut up' following his disastrous election attempt to CF Board, while also watching his kids get manhandled by Wellington Wahine United.
We're picking: Hicham Kamri to add 6 further goals to his tally this season, although it won't be enough for the Oranje as the Blue over-run about 9-6. For those punters out there, pick a 2-2 draw for a roughie.
Rangers Journey to Palmerston Catholics (Central League)
Miramar Rangers take their first bus ride north this season to take on rock bottom and winless Popes own Palmy North Marist at the Memorial Park Velodrome this Saturday. The best thing about Marist this year is surely their home ground. The pitch is usually in great nick, unlike their team who have only knicked two points from eighteen. Propping up the bottom of the table, Palmy have produced the odd result against Miramar in the past few seasons with a couple of draws, last season however it was a 6 nil drubbing at Memorial and this weekend could be much the same.
Rangers ground out a deserved come from behind win last week against Napier in ex-coach G Little's last game. John Cameron assumes the position as head coach this week and has a great opportunity to kick start part two of his Miramar coaching career with a win. "Dolph" was assistant coach to Barry Truman in 1992 when Barry decided to go on a skiing trip the same weekend as the Chatham Cup Final, the odd fella that he was.
Success that day meant that John got a Chatham Cup winner's medal as a coach under his belt. 17 years later he'll be having a crack at repeating that feat, but not before he takes on his first assignment of Marist away.
Brian Little (a bit like Barry Truman in that no one can understand him) will be absent this week for the Mar as he himself will be taking a skiing trip. Michael White is also doubtful with a sore leg. Dylan Hall could be returning to the sticks as the new coach may opt for more experience in goal. The word is that Palmy has no one notable coming into a largely un-notable line up. Joe Bloggs has scored a couple of their ten goals and Mr Nobody in goal has let in 21. They will be desperate to get something out of this game at home though, and perhaps take themselves clear of the relegation zone with Wellington United travelling to Petone.
We're picking: A slightly under strength Miramar to comfortably knock over the Pope's Finest, but Mar's leaky defence to make hard work of it. 5-2 Mar. Odds on bet that Mar players will get their tackles out (or naked) on the bus ride home. The Colonel will almost certainly be lurking with a camera. Keep an eye on Facebook.
Wilson Suburbs vs newly relegated Norwich (Central League)
This week sees one of the big travel leagues hottest rivalries (at least of late) as Wilson Suburbs hosts Lower Hutt. Both sides coming off tough draws last week this promises to be a big bang with out the bang of late for both sides. Lower Hutt will be without Phoenix trialist Luis "I'm too 'big time' for you Sam Blackburn Corrales who started his battle with West Auckland based Krishna this week. While news is not good for Wilson with star centre back and last weeks goal scorer Jack Pelter possibly unavailable due to a bereavement.
This could prove to be a double win for Hutt if Calcott moves Mike "please wave as you pass by" Smith into the heart of the defence as cover, potentially leaving an Ardennes sized gap in the Wilson Suburbs defensive fortifications.
With Hutt struggling for players this year while Wests can afford to banish the Chilean prodigies and Jake Theron to the bench, there is a high chance that it could be the Hutt players that struggle to buy a pint in the Endeavour clubrooms rather than the Wilson boys! That being said this game also boasts the match up of two of Team Wellington's goalkeepers and Parky is sure that it will come down to them this week.
We're picking: that choosing a winner in this is as easy for Parky to pick as his nose as Wilson Suburbs send Lower Hutt down as quickly as Norwich went - Wilson Suburbs by two or three.
Bubbles Birthday Bash welcomes troubled travellers Taranaki (Central league)
This week the leagues best travellers visit Newtown and get twice the bubbles they bargained for! The best Olympic players over the past 50 years are welcomed back this Sunday as they play a celebratory match at mid day. This is the weekend of the year for the Bubbles that sees the return of stars such as Ian Minshull, Ian 'cavey' Cave and Nick 'the knife' Halikias as well as a playground and sandpit for the kids, or any number of the Bubbles players during their game.
The Naki on the other hand picked up another valuable point against Petone last weekend proving again that they have been learning if nothing else in the past two years, also showing the fighting spirit that has seen them score three goals in the last five minutes on three separate occasions.
The Bubbles have had five draws this year and have looked one of the best teams in the league (says our completely unbiased contributor - Ed) but a mixture of ill discipline and poor finishing has seen them muster only one win in six.
We're picking: be sure to pop down as the Bubbles go all out for their 50 years, and while they're there put five or six past the Naki for the first hiding of the season!
Wet Wakeflield to Wash away Naenae's newfound Nerve. (Champs Premier)
After a pair of similar results last week - incredibly lucky wins - the Island Bay Salty Dogs play host to the boys from the Hutt Valley's most upwardly mobile suburb (it's not like you could aspire to be below Naenae on the social pecking order). The Salty Dogs won a battle at the Harcourt badlands where Wayne Rooker on his own could have come close to beating them, while the Naenae boys did their best to fail to pick up three points against the Lower Hutt Creche but stole a winner in injury time.
This week the Salty Dogs will welcome Dave Rutherford back from his traditional (every second) week off and will no doubt be helping club funds by running a sweep on what minute he will see his Red card this week. Meanwhile Thal Theodorou will continue in the centre of defence after he appears to have overshot the Olympic clubrooms while heading South and ended up in Island Bay. Oh, and Jamie Milne is still perpetually crocked.
Continuing in goal will be the Phoenix's own shop boy, who must by now be wondering just how badly he has to play to be dropped.
Naenae will probably see little change with a lot resting on the shoulders of Scouse scoring sensation Jamie Henders and hopes that the others can keep up. Henders will however have to keep an eye over his shoulder as his captain Simon Hall is sneaking up on his league goal tally and should provide a warning to sides not to think it's all about the Scouse hubcap 'finder'.
Like Island Bay, the keeping could be the weakest link but Naenae keeper Brad Topp had his best game of the season by some margin last week and the side will be hoping that form continues.
We're Picking : Island Bay 2-1. Simon Hall to get one for Naenae and in a miracle of loaves and fishes proportions (or of winter football not cancelled on Karori Park proportions) our Granville to actually make a couple of saves.
Lowest In The League Hutt City versus Pulling Out all the Stops To Get Back Into Big Travel League Stop Out (Champs Premier)
Top meets oh so horribly bottom this week in Champs Premier League in a game more lopsided than Tara Reid's breasts.
Stop Out are flying like tourists out of Mexico in the League, thanks to a resounding 4-1 victory over perennial League bridesmaids the Dutch republic of Tawa last weekend. Lower Hutt City's football ability has been in quarantine the last few weeks, a 1-0 loss to Naenae last round certainly highlighting the dire situation that faces everyone involved at Bell Park.
Scotty East 'No HOPE of avoiding relegation' will try to convince Luis Corrales that the Phoenix aren't all that great and that helping his club's Reserve team will be much more rewarding morally.
We're picking: Lower Hutt City to have at least one sent off and Stop Out to come away with a 2 goal margin victory to stay top of the Premier League on goal difference. Precipitation is likely this weekend so bring your togs and take your family along to Karori Park. Mike Greene is lifeguard on duty for:
Wharfies Swim team vs KCU Surf Lifesaving club (Champs Premier)
Controversy is the key word as Wharfies host KCU at Neptune's Playground this weekend. The protest flags will be flying like a Navy signalman on whippits as there are already rumours of both crews making radical changes to their hull designs leading into this regatta. The Scuttlebutt is Wharfies have extended the wings on their keel by 2 inches and opted for a bowsprit giving them extra length, throwing caution to the wind in the light of New Zealand's 1992 America's Cup challenge. KCU however have gone for a radical 8-hulled Octomaran design, insiders saying the design was driven by some more superstitious members of the team after their 8-0 embarrassment against Miramar Reserves last weekend.
With Wharfies climbing the Capital Premier and Fever Club Championships tables slowly but surely, and KCU all-at-sea against Miramar Reserves last weekend, you could steer the KZ-1 Big Boat through the gap between these two teams on the confidence scale. Karori will be looking to skipper Jimmy Hill to provide the creative spark, and maybe nab a goal himself against what will be a KCU team looking for redemption. Adam Crump will be looking to carry on his purple patch after sneaking one under the keeper against Wests last week. Lastly, the pinch-hitter Michael Greene will be playing off the bench after turning out for the Dreamers earlier in the day. So many reasons to get down to the Aquadrome for what should be a thrilling affair weather-permitting.
We're picking: Waterslide Karori by 3 boat lengths
Other fixtures this week in Champs Premier League are Tawadaam vs Western Suburbs 8th Grade Typhoons and 8 goal Rangers vs Wayne Rooker City .
Brooklyn Northern v Wainuiomata (Capital 4)
This week, a less than extraordinary clash between Wellington's number one resettlement club, and the lads from Nappy Valley. These two teams aren't really setting the competition alight, but one hopes that they're embracing the Kiwi-sport ethos that we all learnt at school. Assuming these guys went to school...
Wainui have experienced a yoyo couple of years. They were the whipping boys of Capital 4 in 2007, ending the season with 3 points, and a negative 86 goal differential. However, they managed to turn things around last season, topping Capital 5 ahead of current Capital 4 frontrunners (and neighbours, sort of) Petone Armanis.
Our scouts tell us that Brooklyn's lost a few players over the break, though they're sitting in roughly the same place as they finished last season. There have been some suggestions that Murray McCully's proposed changes to NZ's foreign policy may have affected BNU's ability to recruit more than other clubs. These allegations are yet to be confirmed, but Parky's aware of a significant reduction in the number of $100 bills being thrown out of helicopters, which may affect the club's income stream.
Wainui's physical (read brutal) style, and ruthless organisation, is likely to secure them the win. Parky has it on good authority that BNU attempted to ban Wainui from Wakefield park due to unruly behaviour by previous sports groups. However, a brief visit by the opposition spokesperson responsible for putting the boot in (and conveniently, MP for Wainuiomata) led to a quiet 180 on that approach.
We're Picking: 2-0 to Wainui on this one. Not sure if anyone outside Capital 4 cares...
Upper Hutt City vs Waikanae (Capital 3)
Upper Hutt are snapping at the heels of leaders Tawa, their only reverse coming against the table-toppers, so must start as favourites to win against mid-table Waikanae at Harcourt Wembley.
With both teams having a mixture of youth and experience in their squads, with Waikanae having plenty of pace in midfield and up front to trouble any team's defensive line, their main weakness being a relatively poor goals to chances created ratio. Upper Hutt will look to exploit the aerially powerful Waikanae defence on the deck by outmanoeuvring their "tall timber" with quick passing and movement from their more nimble strike force.
We're Picking: Upper Hutt to be too strong for a willing Waikanae side, coming out on top 2-0.
Parkies wimmin's Correspondent previews a big weekend (Wimmin's Premier League)
Premier Wimmin's league this weekend see some tasty match-ups including a top-a-the-table showdown. The league with a massive seven teams kicks off with Nuns Own Marist against the pride of the Western Suburbs - the Wharfettes. Marist come to the game on the back of dealing Mar a whooping thanks to five goals from Alice Ireton. Wharfies coach Mike Greene will be relishing some friendly banter with Brian 'Angry Scotsman' Blellock, and will be looking for his team to add to their impressive goal tally through Renee Leota and Hannah 'Wonder' Wall in this Gallagher v Albarnesque encounter.
Massey University meanwhile host the Mar in what should be an easy victory for the under-rated Tractor Girls.
Expect Lower Hutt's keeper to be visiting her chiropractor again next week after picking the ball out of the net after playing Upper Hutt in the northern derby.
Seatoun 'We used to be good' AFC get a rest this week after suffering their second loss of the season in their Centenary year.
We're tipping: Karori to take out Massey 3-1 and Brian to be dragged away screaming by men in white coats. Massey to plough Mar 4-1, and Upper Hutt to have the upper hand and upper cut Lower Hutt 4-1. Seatoun will be searching the history books to see if in fact last year was their centenary year.
Parky's Crystal Ball
CENTRAL LEAGUE (SATURDAY 2.30pm):
Palm Nth Marist 0 Miramar Rangers 8 Farrington Field (2.45)
Petone 4 Wellington United 2 Petone Memorial
Western Suburbs 2 Lower Hutt City 2 Endeavour Park
(SUNDAY 2pm):
Olympic 3 Taranaki 1 Newtown Park
Napier City Rovers 1 Wairarapa United 2 Park Island
Until next week then...
Park Life
Hard News2009-05-08 10:08:43
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Is park's crystal ball slightly blurry and confusing Farrington Field with Memorial Park?
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EDITORIAL: What's the point of all this anyway?
It's a question the Park Life editorial team asks ourselves every day.
The
answer we usually come to is that people in Wellington like local
football. They like the personalities in it, they like the
competitions, they like the rivalries and in jokes.
And that's
what Park Life is all about. In jokes. No, seriously, we're about the
local game. We love it. We like to think we've been successful already
this year. Thanks to our advertisers this is the fourth edition of a
local Wellington football magazine. In print and on the web. We're
quite proud of that.
We're even more proud of the new members
it's brought to the Yellow Fever forums at
www.yellowfever.co.nz/forums. The Regional Football discussion area has
been overflowing with banter on everything from Mick Waitt's move from
Wellington United to Western Suburbs in Masters 1 to the seeding policy
of the Chatham Cup.
And it's to that we now finally turn.
The
magic of the Chatham Cup is the simple chance to play teams you'd
otherwise never play. To go on trips to strange grounds and play in new
places, against new faces. The current policy of New Zealand Football
to regionalise the Big Cup all the way through to nearly the quarter
finals destroys that magic to a great degree.
If you're a team
in the Central region, you get a free pass through to the next round,
while today some good Capital Football teams will be eliminated.
The
alternative is to go larger earlier. That might mean a long away trip
for someone like Stokes Valley. But isn't that more fun than a game
against Petone? Today does throw some exciting ties up: Eastbourne vs
Wests for example. Those sorts of giant killing opportunities are too
few. Let's open the Cup up, and bring back its magic!
.Park Life
Fish & Chips vs Souvlaki (Capital One)
Island
Bay United host Olympic on Wakefield Park Number 3 in a curtain raiser
(of sorts) for the much-anticipated (sort of) Island Bay United vs
Miramafia Chatham Cup tie.
Both teams had underwhelming results
last week as Olympic lost in comical circumstances to hotel managers'
favourites Wainuiomata 1-0, whilst Island Bay United came away with a
0-0 draw against Marist in a match where David 'Ginger Ninja'
Rutherford and Brian Berwick provided the only entertainment with
taunts such as 'What minute will you be sent off today?', replied with
'What was that, grey spot?'.
Matty Kolic and Derek
Waldegrave-digger return to their former club as coach and player
respectively to face Merrick Keenan's charges consisting of die hard
Chelsea supporters Dave 'J.T' Wiggins and Jody 'Joe Cole' Bullen.
Bring your studs. It will be more slippery than Feverish's stock of KY.
We're
picking: that this is a pretty token Park Life feature. I mean really,
come on, who gives a f*** about a game like this on a Chatham Cup
weekend? 1-1. (Fortunately our readers are more intelligent than our
contributors. - Ed.)
Petone Armanis vs North Wellington (Capital Four)
If
we're being honest, for the match of the round this week, we would have
brought you Pope's Own Marist vs Lower Hutt's Rebellious Seaside
Suburb: the Eastbourne Naked Mole Rats. Unfortunately for us, but
fortunately for the Naked Mole Rats, they're participating in Big Cup
instead. They're up against Wilson United. More on that later.
Meanwhile, back in the heady heights of Capital 4, the best dressed
team in the grade (if their name is any indication), take on the
tradesmen from strip-mall central. Both teams are chock full with
experience but while Petone has made the most of their opportunities
this season, Norths just managed their first win last week (albeit
against the current second placed team).
Look for North
Wellington's fiery striker Rusty to put the bespoke ones under
pressure, but Petone will be particularly strong, as proximity to the
clubrooms will mean they won't have to think about how they're going to
get back to sell meatpacks after the game. In all likelihood, we're
looking at another Armanis win, though the tradesmen have been known to
pull one out of the bag from time to time.
We're picking: the
Armanis to take this one out 3-1, with Captain Canty to score a hat
trick for them. Rusty to nick a consolation one for the visitors. Stick
around after the game to watch Petone line up against Stokes Valley in
Big Cup. Make an afternoon of it.
Eastbourne Naked Mole Rats vs Wilson United (Chatham Cup)
It's another East vs. West affair as the Naked Mole Rats host Wests at The Bish in the Big Cup.
In
Parky's not-so-humble opinion there are two things that Cash-Money
Wests do well: (1) Nick points on the road and (2) plagiarize graphic
design from 90's Indie bands.
This contest should not be as challenging as their Big Travel League
fixtures but they'll still need to do the job against an Eastbourne
team that has already narrowly escaped Porirua with 3 points and no
stab wounds.
Wests fullback and friend of Park Life, Champs' Own
Sam "Mini-Manny" Peters played his last game for Wests last weekend. He
flies out for pastures new this Sunday, and Park Life wishes him well.
His destination: the A-league nursery that is the VPL, with several
teams said to be interested in getting his John Hancock on the papyrus . Play him off, keyboard cat!.
We're picking: Wests by heaps bro, 8-0. Eastbourne won't be able to get up for this game.
Dirty Stop Outs looking for a sub 2-minute mile against Naenae (Chatham Cup)
While it's not uncommon in harness racing for horses to run into each other in consecutive weeks, this week the former trotting track sees the first of two meetings between the Eastern Hutt's two standardbred sides with the 'Big Cup' clash followed by a clash at Naenae Park next week in the Champs Premier League.
The
Dirty Stop Outs start this race as firm favourites on both the tote and
the fixed odds, having seen off Lower Hutt at Bell Park by a clear
couple of lengths and with the side under a good hold from driver YugoBoss.
The goals came from the 'other' Gulley - young Justin getting a pair
and proving that Stop Out once again have aspirations of making it back
to open grade.
Meanwhile at the tail of the field Naenae once
again lost their trotting gait at Island Bay, more errors at the back
and a lack of ability to sprint in the home straight seeing Naenae
handing Island Bay the winnings stakes. With everyone's favourite
courier Craig Boyd and Alex Young both seeing the track vet, Naenae even had to resort to playing full back Matt Henderson
up front - a man that has all of the ball control of a seal, albeit a
seal after it has been clubbed to death on a Canadian ice shelf.
With
further scratchings from the Naenae field this week and better draws
off the starting gate for runners like Tony Jamieson, Steve and Justin
Gulley, and Admir Benchicevac we can't see anything but a Stop Out win
and much more of this and the Naenae season may have to be put down or
at least retired to a horse trek farm (Capital One).
We're
Picking : Stop Out to win at a canter (which is in fact an illegal
gait) 3-0. (I would like to apologise for the horse humour, but this
was written by a donkey! - Ed.)
Island Bay Sharks vs Miramar Power Rangers (Chatham Cup)
The Island Bay Italian Mafia welcomes the Mira-Mafia in Rangers' first round of Big Cup action at Shark Park this weekend.
The
Sharks squeezed past Pope's Own Marist (Wellington Branch) in devilish
fashion in their qualifying round a few weeks back with a 2-1 win in
extra time. They now face a Miramar side wallowing in turmoil but one
that still sits atop the Central League equal on points with Wilson
United.
The Sharks are also top equal in their league, Champs
Premier, alongside last year's Central League retards Stop Out. In Big
Cup anything can happen, in 2005 holders Miramar were smashed out by a
motley crew of North Wellingtonians in the first round. Island Bay United are surely a team with that same potential. Only a fool will bet on it though as even on Wakefield Tip Rangers should ease past the Fisherman locals.
After a shock draw in New Coach Dolphy's first game in charge against Popes Own Palmy Marist Miramar go into this game under some pressure. They will be without Brian Little who is rolling down Mt Ruapehu, Jamie Farrington who is having his foot re-sewn onto his leg, and Allen Chote who red misted his way out of the next two games after being sent for losing his rag and stomping on a poor fellow last weekend. Along with that embarrassing incident, ill discipline cost Miramar a must win with missed sitters and rookie defending.
The
Sharks come off a 2 nil home win against Naenae. Island Bay's goals
have come from all over the park. Speculation surrounds the fitness of
tampon Jamie Milne, a Fisherman Saviour more for his inspirational,
life changing yarns than his current ability. The thick stench of deep
fried batter swamping the fresh air, along with the quagmire that is Wakefield Park will probably trouble Miramar more than the team will.
We're picking: Be prepared for an upset - it always happens somewhere in the Big Cup - the hungry Sharks have a great chance to sink their teeth into one on their home pitch. Nonetheless, Mar 5-2.
North Wellington vs Tawa (Chatham Cup)
Both
Parrot's lads and the church-goers from Tawa go into this one with
confidence riding high after securing maximum league points last
weekend.
This local Big Cup derby is the only opportunity for
these sides to do battle this season with Tawa in Champs Premier and
the JVille lads are sitting mid table in Cap One.
A Sunday
fixture presents huge availability issues for Tawa, their coach may
need to change his scouting strategy and recruit heathens to ensure he
has a full compliment.
For North Wellington, much depends on
Dunne running the midfield. He's big and round, but we're not sure he's
worth a million pound. His cheeky chip last weekend against Brooklyn
was, however, a peach.
Tawa will hopefully employ the college kid, Louis Fenton who will undoubtedly enjoy strutting his talent on the Big Cup stage.
We're
picking: Tawa by a mile. Evergreen Pete Withers to head one in. Fenton
to boss the midfield, but watch out for lively J'Ville youngsters Dan
Roberts and Blair Todman.
Captain Edward Smith's Oranje visits Captain-less Kapiti Coast United (Chatham Cup)
This weekend sees two of Wellington's struggling sides battle in a not so epic Big Cup second round match up. KCU progressed through to round two after upsetting Upper Hutt 2-1, however since then, KCU have gone dramatically downhill after being pumped 8-0 by Miramafia reserves and 7-0 by Waterslide Karori in recent weeks. Although KCU sit in 8th place in Champs Premier League, they are effectively in the drop zones with only Wests reserves and Lower Hutt City Reserves below them.
With only 3 draws from 6 Central League starts this season, the Oranje's best result came in the 1st round of Big Cup courtesy of a bye from Capital Football. The break from the rigours of the Central League could not come at a better time for United
- allowing them to rest their growing injury list before the important
clash with Team Taranaki in two weeks time. Disastrous Dale is the
latest to be ruled out for the Oranje with a broken finger nail
after coming off 2ndBest (get it? -Ed) in a battle with Petone All
White Andy Barron. Unfortunately for KCU, Warburton's injury means they
will need to find another source of goals.
We're Picking: Car damage
to at least one numpty who parks directly behind the goal at Weka Park.
Result-wise, expect Diamonds to comfortably run away with this one by 4
or 5.
Waterslide Karori vs Over The Hill 'Rapa (Chatham Cup)
Karori visit a country in turmoil this Saturday when they travel to Fiji
(B) for the Chatham Cup, in what could turn out to be a coup for the
Wharf if they can play with military precision (get it? -Ed).
'Where's your keeper gone?' will be the cry, with Sacha Nathu sitting on the Naughty Chair after going three rounds with the Rovers striker last week. The question is whether the Rapa will use utility Aaron Spieling or second team custodian Matthew 'Vampire' Steele.
Also contentious will be if Adam $Cowan$ will be rested due to card trouble, and furthermore, will he still get his $1k if he doesn't play? If Peter RaboCops
another card, he too will be out for the next CL game. This makes
things tough for Phil Keinzley, Masterton's own Frank Bainimarama, who
will be needing to deport the Times' football writer if he loses this
one.
We're picking: Wharf likely for an upset here. 2-1 to Karori (AET) with at least one player sent off.
Fozzie's Muppets vs Stokes Vegas (Chatham Cup)
Fozzie's
Muppets Petone do tough duty this weekend as they host Stokes Valley on
a slippery Petone Memorial. Petone's playing ranks are much-depleted
this week. Mark Manzone returned to his spiritual homeland,
Wainuiomata, on a Bosman mid-week, making them a much heavier
proposition in Capital One, and giving Petone one less striking option
off the bench.
Petone will also have to do without All White
Andy Barron who has a 3 litre tub of chocolate triple ripple ice cream
with his name on it in the freezer that he's just itching to finish.
Mick Pickering is out injured getting his perm re-set.
Stokes
Valley have everyone available but will still be minging. They sit
stone cold motherless last in Capital One, meaning there is an
impressive 26 league placings between these two sides.
In
Capital One, Stokes Valley have conceded a mind-blowing 16 goals. In
Central League, Petone have let through only 5 despite playing many of
the league's heavyweights.
We're picking: First of all, coach
Mark Foster will play. Put the kids' university funds on it. When he
comes on Petone will already be three goals up (Richie McLay 2, Stick
1). Stokes Valley will roll back home in their stolen cars with their
tails between their bogan legs. Final score 4-1. That 1 a penalty.
Petone Reserves vs Brooklyn Northern United (Capital One)
FC
United, the English non-league club born out of fans' disapproval of
Malcolm Glazier's takeover of Manchester United, this week launched a
"you-name-the-price" ticket scheme that allowed club members to
nominate a price they could afford for their season ticket. The club
described the scheme as "unprecedented in football".
Wrong.
Brooklyn
Northern United FC has long had an identical scheme for selling season
tickets to their matches at Wakefield Park #2. Fans of the club, of
which there are 7 this season, were each allowed to nominate a price
that they felt reflected the value they extracted from the right to
attend any and all of BNU's home matches (and away trips if desired).
Of last season's 8 members, 3 nominated a price of $0.00, 2 nominated
$150.00 but were allowed to convert that to a clubroom bar debt and pay
it off one beer at a time, 1 was incapable of reading the notice from
the club and 2 were too drunk at the time of offer to nominate any
price at all. One of those, when he sobered up he left the club in a
huff and traipsed over the Island Bay's clubrooms where season tickets
are free with your first pint. The other was still incomprehensible at
the time of printing.
Petone's Reserve Team, on the other hand,
does not have a season ticket policy. It's large fan base consists
entirely of the mums and dads of players in the team. They are granted
free entry to matches when they bring a child under 18, which they do
every week. At home matches, warm milk and cookies are free in the
clubrooms.
BNU's fans have proven to be a significant weapon of
late. Last weekend against the high flying Waterslide Karori Dreamers
they succeeded in convincing the referee that key Dreamers player
Michael Greene deserved a yellow card for remonstrating with them on
the sideline. A crucial tactical play by the club and something Petone
will have to watch out for this weekend.
But it's not only in
the stands where the two teams' fortunes have differed. On the pitch
Petone had a strong start to the season, but have taken a Hull-esque
nosedive to the foot of the table in recent weeks with three
back-to-back losses. In stark contrast, BNU are mid-table but with a
game in hand, against cellar-dwellers Stokes Valley, that could have
them second. That catch up game is played this Sunday. BNU coach Steve
Dimakis might have that double header in the back of his mind on
Saturday and will no doubt be hoping to go ahead early so he can
consider resting some legs late in the game with the result secure.
New
Petone coach Guy Smith will know that a win here will lift some
pressure, taking the team from 2-4 to 3-4 and the relative security of
mid-table in what is a very tight league. Only 6 points separate last
and first. He might sneak in a couple of first teamers as he seeks an
important three points for his young side.
We're picking: BNU to cop Petone on the bounce and suffer a frustrating 3-2 home defeat.
Karori Stevedores vs Uni Bombers (Capital Fifteen)
Contrasting
league form would suggest the Stevedores will walk away with three
points from this match but as the Longshoremen have learnt over their
14 month long football careers form is temporary and our lack of class
almost certainly permanent.
However the Uni Bombers are not
without a certain pedigree of their own. They are named in honour of
their long time mentor and founding member, Theodore John Kaczynski,
the man responsible for 10 mail bombs over a period of approximately 17
years dating back to 1995. Thankfully the Unabomber targeted only
Universities and Airlines and there is no evidence that prior to his
arrest he had even considered an all out attack on a football side of
World repute. However, these Uni Bombers or Una Bombers as they are
unaffectionately referred to are a dangerous band both on and off the
field. They adhere not only to the teachings of Kaczynski but also to
the questionable warblings of other notable Polish Americans such as
Roman Polanski, Pope John Paul II and Liberace. Thus they will be
treated with the respect that their bottom placing in the league with a
single point from 5 games does not deserve.
The Stevedores on
the other hand enter this match in a rich vein of form. After a loss in
the first game of the season they have bounced back with 10 points from
a possible 12. A one nil victory over top of the table Sealads was
followed with a 3-3 draw with the Goldenrods, a 4-2 win over Western
Suburbs (who play in the Northern Suburbs?) and a 4-1 win over
Wainuiomata.
Manager, Captain, Playmaker and Spiritual Leader
Stephen Mather puts this down to simple hard graft in the off season.
"We targeted fitness as a key area for us in the offseason. We knew our
footballing pedigree could not be brought into question" he began, "but
a total of 2 knee ops, 8 torn Hamstrings and 5 calf strains suggested
we needed to work on other facets of our performance. And the boys have
really answered the call" he continued. "Johnny 'the Head' Gowland is
in better shape than he was when he rowed for Christs College at Mardi
Cup in 1991, Williams' gout has really responded to treatment and
Coffey has cut back on his daily all day work lunches..." He proffered,
but not stopping there went on to say "having said that the key to our
success as always has been built on a 400kg back four, a goalkeeper
rotation policy and goal production from all over the park and this
season has been no different."
...(He went on to name every member of the squad at least once, but we couldn't jam it all in - Ed)...
The
Stevedores' back four will be joined this weekend by a mid field
brimming with confidence. Recent wonder goals from Boyer, Doyle and
Wylie highlight a commitment to entertainment and a willingness to go
for goal. Wylie has been a revelation, banging in a brace against
Western Suburbs, in only his 2nd appearance in any football since
leaving Eketahuna Under 12's in a controversial shift to rugby in 1989.
He will be a key figure in this Saturdays match against the Bombers and
they will struggle with his pace and eye for goal. What is most
disturbing about this young man is his ability to head the ball at the
intended target, almost unheard of in Div 15, where players prefer to
'keep it at the feet'.
As a mark of respect to Stu Duggan's
grandfather, who died earlier this week, the Stevedores will don black
armbands. Duggan is the most capped player in Stevedore history
We're
picking: although the opposition will be dangerous they should be aware
of the following fact: The word "stevedore" originated in either Spain
or Portugal and entered the English language through its use by
sailors. It started as a phonetic spelling of the Spanish Estibador or
Portuguese Estivador = "a man who stuffs".
Wharfies to stuff Uni 8-2.
Hard News2009-05-15 15:25:43
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If I'm a seal Newsy, than you are most definitely of the elephant seal variety, you bastard hahaha
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Someone used that quote on another forum and I think Parkie just felt it HAD to be used somewhere... 
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We're picking: although the opposition will be dangerous they should be aware of the following fact: The word "stevedore" originated in either Spain or Portugal and entered the English language through its use by sailors. It started as a phonetic spelling of the Spanish Estibador or Portuguese Estivador = "a man who stuffs".
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If you missed this weeks printed Parkie there are/were a few copies at Champs.
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Park Life
Editorial: The Chatham Cup Debate Continues
Readers have been flooding Park Life�s mailbox and letter box with messages of support after we laid into New Zealand Football last week over the Chatham Cup draw.
The Round Two draw out this week does nothing but reinforce our point.
After this round, two of Miramar, Wests, Petone and Olympic will be out of the Cup. Surely two of the best dozen or so teams in the country will be gone from the only national club competition we have in New Zealand.
Meanwhile, between Napier and New Plymouth, two out of Maycenvale, Fielding, Taradale and Moturoa will progress to the next round and two of the worst dozen or so teams in the country will go on to an inevitable double figure thumping by someone good.
Ridiculous.
Without any shadow of doubt Central Federation and Capital Football teams should be thrown in together at the first full round, following the Qualifying and Preliminary rounds. Sure this might mean an away trip for a big boy when they�d rather be concentrating on the Central League, but tough. It�s fairer all round and will make the Chatham Cup all the more magic. Like it used to was.
So there.
.Park Life
Lower Hutt Ballkickers vs. Uni Flamingos (Capital 14)
The Uni Flamingos are going to need more than just their hilarity-inducing name to get anything out of their away match at Fraser Park this week against the table-topping Ballkickers. Lower Hutt have seen off all-comers so far, with maximum points from 5 rounds, not to mention averaging six goals a game, so beating them on their home turf will not be an easy task. The Flamingos have already come closer than anyone else in the division to taking points off Lower Hutt and as long as they aren�t caught flat-footed, will test the Home team.
Uni�s Captain, Ben �Behemoth� Matthews, has been performing well this season and will be central to their game. Also look for Jon Packard to lay on a few for his teammates, and pick up at least one himself. A flamingos insider told Parkie that Uni have a strong core of players who know each others� game inside-out but will still need all hands to the pump to take the points.
We�re picking: Flamingos to be tickled pink when they eke out a gutsy 3-2 win.
BNU vs Upper Hutt Slayers (Capital 16)
The mighty Upper Hutt Slayers travel to the Velodrome this Saturday for a clash against Brooklyn Northern.
The nature of our 14 team grade means little is known (by us) about our opposition apart from what we can learn by looking at recent results and comparing our positions on the table.
The Slayers sit near the bottom while Brooklyn are parked somewhere in the middle. The last two games for the Slayers have been nail biting losses (8 - 0 and 9 - 0) whereas Brooklyn appear to be coming off three good wins.
Not looking good for a rare Slayer victory....
The Velodrome ground. It sounds exotic. We have been assured that it is not. We have been informed that it is particularly small. The Slayers are not a fit side so here's hoping the stormy weather continues which along with the small field might combine to help negate any advantage the opposition may have through playing proper structured football.
For those who don't know, The Slayers are a rag tag team formed approximately 8 years ago by some cricketers looking for a fun way to keep fit over winter. The original players have long gone but traditions formed on day 1 are still followed enthusiastically and these include half and full time beers, and training and taking the game too seriously is banned. Recently the Dick of the Day (another tradition) was awarded to the team mascot who was spotted doing a warm up lap before one game.
The current squad made up of a 7ft Ogre up front, two midgets, two cross dressers, several Jenny Craig 'before photos' while the rest wouldn't know a right foot from a left hand. Drinking and talking bollocks, ? - Sorted.
The team motto is "Obduco Est Overrated" which badly translates to "Passing Is Overrated".
Our website has more detail about the team, match reviews and player profiles for those interested.
We�re Picking : Sorry Slayers, but we think this might go the other way � BNU 3 � Slayers 1.
Knockless Naenae play Besim's Beautiful game in regional rematch (Champs Premier League)
Here we go again folks, just seven days since the Eastern Hutt's premier sides clashed in an epic Big Cup match at the raceway, they now trek further north for a Champs Premier League rematch in the majestic surroundings of Naenae Park.
Last weeks game was by all accounts a cracker with a howling gale, 5 goals, a boxing match AND some comedy keeping. Stop Out midfielder Abbass Sheik finishing off a shot that hit goalie Brad Topp
in the breadbasket and rolled out of his reach then college-bound youngster Regan Steele headed home a corner and a few minutes later, Simon O'Neil curled a corner in to the Naenae goal. Benji Hall pulled one back for Naenae just before the break, and Naenae scored the second half's only goal through Tea Lomax.
This week the return of the Naenae strike force should give the club from the scenic suburb an uplift, providing Scouse scoring sensation Jamie Henders pulls up okay after chasing the Phoenix around Porirua Park on monday night and Craig Boyd survives a hard day on the city's roads. Stop Out will be without well known red mist king Alex Macdonald after he managed to flatten the leader of Team Sudan, Ivan, with a quality right hook last week which may make room for a start for YugoBoss junior.
Both these sides like to play some nice football (particularly Stop Out's European style') at times, and weather allowing this rematch could be a cracker despite the difference in results between these sides in recent Champs Premier League matches.
We're picking : Stop Out to jink this one again with a barely deserved 3-2 in replicating last weeks scoreline.
...if this all proves too much for you, on Naenae Two you can catch:
Naenae No Pace (use Pace Couriers) vs Wainuiomata Pacifica (Masters Three)
Meanwhile in the dizzying heights of mid-table Masters Three, the elderly lads from Naenae take on the Indian mafia from Wainui. With the Pace (use Pace Couriers) returning to winning ways last week with a win over long-time rivals Stop Out Black and no idea how Wainui got on - very nice Capital Football - the Naenae lads will be looking to avenge an opening round 4-2 defeat.
This game is going to come down to the front men, with Simon Hull already knocking in 8 goals for the Pace this season and Wainui's evergreen and super fast 49yo South African import more than likely ahead of that mark. Naenae will also have to rely on an international midfield made up of the Romanian sensation �Popa' - now nearly 100% nicotine free, Flying French-Japanese winger Francois and the man who 'makes it all happen' Steve Craig.
Neither team is particularly well-endowed in the keeping stakes (yes Hughes, we're looking at you), and the officiating is likely to be of less than the highest standard so this has all the hallmarks of a high-scoring affair, we expect some valves to pop, both pressure and heart.
We're picking: A 3-3 draw. Hull 2 and Vallance 1 for the Pace (use Pace Couriers) and ridiculously quick South African bloke 2, O.G. 1 for the 'Nui.
North Welly Fire-fighters vs Petone Ladies (Wimmins One)
Dave Benitez Wright and his high flying girls go into this fixture as favourites against a Petone side who sit comfortably in mid table. Benitez and his assistant Cordall (Cory) need a result to keep their fiery young ladies in touch with the girls from the Golden Coast, Waikanae. Again, much will be expected of Steph-a-noski on her return from injury. The acupuncture treatment and the rehab at the Crows Nest should have her well placed to boss the left flank on the Memorial ground. Big E is in good form and her graceful giraffe like movements, Toni�s passing and Vonnie�s artistry in midfield will add to the aesthetics of this encounter.
Smok-in Jacks and Steam-in Shona have provided the defensive platform to date and little gets beyond the fire wall. Goalie Leanne is as reliable as a fully and frequently serviced smoke detector. Fireman Sam (Trudie) ably supported by Ellie will provide the fire power up front. Fireman Sam will provide the transport for this one complements of Plimmerton Volunteer Fire Brigade. However, Southfields (Elaine) still on crutches will expect to ride shotgun with Fireman Sam, in the cabin of Plimmerton�s finest red engine to this fixture.
We�re picking: another blazing encounter between these two. A win to the Jville blazers with alarm bells ringing all over the Memorial Ground at the conclusion of this one.
Island Bay United Mob vs. Mira-mafia�s Junior Henchmen (Champs Capital Premier)
Island Bay United and Miramar Rangers stiffs go to the mattresses this weekend in an encounter spicier than an Italian chorizo.
The South Coast Famiglia will be looking for revenge after they were gunned down 4-0 by Miramafia�s Top Dogs last weekend in Big Cup. With rival syndicates Stop Out and Tawa having relatively easy matches against Naenae and Krap-iti Coast United, 3 points will be necessary for the Sharks to keep up with the pace at the top of the table.
Mira-mafia will be more than prepared however, with Capo David Batty always capable of bossing the midfield and hot-shot James Sutherland looking to continue his impressive scoring form in Champs Premier League. Bulletproof Simon Shone continues between the sticks after his spell with the big boys in Central League.
Paul �The Godfather� Muollo will leave the gun but Michael Musso will bring the connoli, as the two Italian rocks in defence will battle to keep Mira-mafia�s frontline at bay. David Rutherford will be baking cakes and making mochachinos in the clubrooms after Capital Football referees continue to be capable of brain freezes/explosions resulting in ridiculous cautions and dismissals. Our fine readers of Park Life will be safe in the knowledge that we can still get away with punching each other on the field. But saying f*** is a naughty no-no. Jamie Milne has dumbfounded our contributor and brushed away comparisons to women�s sanitary products by being able to run AND kick a ball. In the same week.
We�re picking: Island Bay United to regain its honour with a 2-1 win. It�s not personal Miramar. It�s business.
Harry Redknapp�s face and a rant about no nets: Tonners vs Olympic (Capital 12)
This game will showcase two teams in need of a win with Olympic being one of Capital 12�s bottom dwellers against second place Karori Tonners coming off a loss from Uni Wanderers (who still trawl the bottoms of the bottom dwellers).
There ain�t a lot you can say about Olympic without lazily jumping into stereotypical jibes, so we won�t bother. Anyway like my yoghurt, it may not contain any Greeks. Expect the gravitationally challenged Macs Gold and Red Bull swilling Tonners (brought to you by Four Kings) to be back to winning ways as a few regulars return to the the line up.
Going back to the Tonners shock loss to the Uni Wanderers , a side of spotty oinks that resembled the front row of a Justin Timberlake concert that left the crowd with a performance more confusing than trying to read what going on in Harry Redknapp�s head with all those facial twitches going on (Is he winking at me? Is he chewing something? Oh no, is he having a stroke? Has he just let one rip? Who knows? Who cares?)
Anyway in a game played in a 130kph gale, it was made more farcical from the sodding students not turning up with any nets. I know this is Park Life but no nets, no f@cking nets; it�s like watching a 3D movie without the glasses, chips without vinegar, porn without the money shot, Phoenix without the Fever. To drive the point home it�s like sleeping with a prossie after a night on the sauce: you�re pretty certain that you�ve scored but your left with that cold empty feeling that it doesn�t count somehow and you feel a complete bell-end if you celebrate it rather than gather up your balls and sneak off home.
We�re picking: the Tonners to swing back into form with a win. Greeks to get a pasting, 4-0.
Upper Hutt Bogans vs Wharfies
Upper Hutt is club with a proud tradition. Unfortunately it�s not for their footballing ability. It�s for getting stoned heaps and having to play geriatrics like Ali James in their first team. Given all this, they have actually had a decent start to the season. Later in the season they will get a few injuries and end up having to play Ali James in their first team -probably stoned.
On Saturday they take on a Wharf side fresh from a win over Fiji (B), and with the fresh wiff of Chartreuse on their breath after the ensuing team bender.
To the game - and Matt �Gordon� Bennett will be looking to pull the strings for the Hutt, as well as trying to contain Wharfies playmaker Robbie �Cougar� Hunter. Wharfies have striker Adam Crump in fine form, as well as Mark Fulcher in between the sticks. Andy Le Prou who has the skillz to pay the bills also looks likely to be a standout. Can the Hutt breakdown McKinlay at the heart of the Karori defence though? And will Karori�s cars be safe if they don�t have a car alarm?
We�re picking: Harcourt Park has always been a happy hunting ground for Karori, and it seems like this game will be no different. The crystal ball of he Upper Hutt gypo says Karori will win this dog-fight 2-0.
Religious Fanatics vs Golden Coast United
The boys from the restful bible belt of Tawa head up the Golden Coast this weekend to engage with the Pram lads at Weka Park.
Richie Martin�s team saw off the Villa at Alex Moore to venture forth to the next round of Big Cup last Sunday and will be hoping to carry that God-given good fortune into this weekend�s league fixture.
KCU, better known as �Para-pa-raow-moo�, have been struggling in recent weeks and have some major problems with their defensive platform. Or lack of one. The Wrong Easthope has converted from Greek Orthodox to Coastal Presbyterian and given up on being part of the form Central League side of recent rounds to instead be a part of the Wellington United of Champs Premier League.
Louis Fenton, the College kid, keeps raising his profile at this level and will be again expected to realise his exciting potential. Withers and Co should cruise home against one of the poorest defences in the Capital Football leagues. Praise be to God.
This should improve The Church-goers league standing and could, depending on other results, take them into the top two. God willing.
We�re picking: Tawa to smash the Pram lads. Withers to bag a hatrick and Fenton to complete 482 step-overs in the first 10 minutes.
Team Naki Vs Wellington United (Central League)
This weekend Wellington �Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571� United endure the joy of a causal 356 km journey north from Newtown Park to Pukekura Park to face Team Naki.
While not having a Big Cup game to contend with last week, Naki coach Ian Magrath probably spent last weekend fretting on how he is going to save his share of the region�s 208,000 cows in the event of Mount Taranaki�s eruption. Although unbeaten at home, the Naki are with just one win this season against lowly (even more lowly than United) Pope�s Own Marist, and sit two places above their opponents.
Although the udder-ly long 5 hour trek north is in store, the squad should stop and take time to bask in the glory of the great sights along to way including, Waverly, Patea, Whanganui, Bulls, and Foxton. Like most sane teams (Petone aside), the Diamonds will travel up the day before and spend much of Saturday night wearing their pyjamas and playing truth or dear in scene reminiscent of a teen slumber party.
Coach Durant had few worries in dispatching Kapiti Coast United to the slaughter house last week to book themselves a 2rd round clash with Dirty Stop Out. However, he will have more concerns around his heard�s current league standing. Currently sitting just above the sole relegation position, a win by 2 or more goals will see them moo-ve ahead of their northern rivals. If unable to beef up their defence, a loss will see their season turn into mince-meat (Ed-if it hasn�t already) before round one is complete.
We�re picking: The Oranje will hoof it long and overcome hails storms, dodgy local refereeing and a growing injury list to walk off the paddock with a 3-2 victory.
Poor Man�s Panathanaikos vs Whitby Wannabees (Central League)
In one of two top four clashes this weekend the two most hated clubs in Wellington go head to head. Table toppers Western Suburbs will travel to Newtown Stadium to take on fourth placed Olympic. The Bubbles humped Taranaki 4-nil in their last Central League outing on the same day that they celebrated their 50th Jubilee, while Wilson Suburbia squeezed past Lower Butt 3-2. Both teams remain unbeaten this year with the Greeks achieving a remarkable 5 draws from 7 games. Miramar Rangers hosting Petone this weekend provides an opportunity for a shake up in the top half of the Big Travel League.
This fixture is always a hotly contested encounter with both team�s players and coaches loving a good cry, bitch and a whinge. Good luck to whoever referees this game, heads up on a few coins, smoke bombs and flairs coming your way from the Olympic faithful, the BEST supporters in the league. Wests can expect a few �Reeedneeeeck!!!� calls from the crowd. The Greeks could get the odd �boo� from the Wests mums and dads.
Suburbs players will be especially fresh (or bored) after a bitter Calcott forbade his players from having a run against the Phoenix this week while Si George had four of his best out taking advantage of some quality opposition. They did bloody well too with the Besim-Smith XI getting a draw out of the professionals. Barry Lewis and Scott Robson will be looking to chop down some spoilt Suburbs babies with Georgie B and Jimmy the Mouth causing problems up top, just like they did against the Nix. Look for Ben Fiddy Feld to continue scoring and Jack Pelts to lay out some wailing Greeks at the back.
Were Picking: Wests will be too good if not too boring at Newtown. A few too many long balls will put the Greeks under too much pressure and the ref will flash them too many cards. Suburbs 3-2.
Fozzie�s Muppets vs Mighty Morphin Mafia (Central League)
In the other top four clash this weekend second plays fourth as the Mafia take on the Muppets at Farrington Field.
This one promises to be a battle of the back fours. Miramar�s is thinner at the back than an anorexic supermodel and will be weakened further this week by the absence of Angry Chotey who gets another week�s rest. Any Mafia fans watching from the sidelines will have enjoyed Chotey�s display against the Phoenix on Wednesday night when he owned a few full timers but they will have been left rueing his absence for the blue and blacks this weekend. Casey Ferrier will probably deputise again in Chote�s absence.
Petone�s back four has a much more solid look about it. While Miramar have conceded more goals than any team North of the bottom three Petone have conceded the least in the league. Their back four of Chris Sambrooke and David Lane, Old Man Barclay and Rowan McCullough have let through only five goals in seven games.
Petone get one more game out of All Whites Jim Bannatyne and Andy Barron before they jet off to the Confed Cup.
They�ll have to be at their best against gold boot race co-leader Dom Rowe.
We�re picking: Rowe to bag one, but Baz to get a farewell goal and Jimbo to Cruyff his way to victory. Petone 2-1.
Lower Hutt City vs Napier City Rovers (Central League)
Ryan Nelsen out for the All Whites, so many questions but the important one is who replaces him?
Does Ricki Herbert go for a straight replacement and if so where from? Does he try and coax someone out of retirement? Does he try an untried youngster? Does he look to some of the players tied to other nations? Does he just rely on the three players named?
The three obvious men to look at who have retired lately are Danny Hay, Ivan Vicelich and Che Bunce. Hay of course is still occasionally playing NZFC (when not injured), as is Vicelich even Che Bunce played a little this year and is now spending the winter as a target man for Hamilton's Melville United. The obvious choice is of course Vicelich, but rumour suggests some significant bridge re-building would need to take place for this to happen.
Failing this we end up with some youngsters as options. From the last U-20 squad Jack Pelter, Michael Boxall and Cole Peverley all come to mind. Peverley is trotting around Queensland and is more generally considered a midfield option but has played at the back before. Boxall is away at college in the US and Jack Pelter has won some local awards for the greatest metaphorical distance travelled in 12 months having gone from the Stadium of Light just months ago to Bishop Park last weekend.
Then we have two names probably beyond our reach in Winston Reid and Tommy Smith. Smith is an ex-New Zealand Secondary Schools player who has since represented England at U-17 level and has started two matches this season for English Championship side Ipswich Town. Reid (a good Northland Maori lad, right down to the middle name Wiremu) plays for Danish Premier League side Midjtyland despite being Under-20. Like Smith he has played at age group level for his adopted home and may be beyond our
Failing these options, maybe Ricki relies on Steven Old, Andy Boyens and Fever Favourite Ben Sigmund. A big call when Old hasn't played for 6-12 months and Sigmund is only just back training from major hip surgery.
Whatever decision is made it underlines the lack of depth at centre back in this country.
Oh yeah, Lower Hutt play NCR at Bell Park on Saturday and we're wondering if anyone will actually be at Bell Park for delivery of printed Parkie this week.
We�re picking: A Napier upset win. Lower Hutt on a bad run after a whipping from the Greeks. An Andy Bevin goal to be the difference. 2-0 Napier.
Park Life�s Crystal Ball
Miramar Rangers 1 Petone 2
Wairarapa United 2 Palm Nth Marist 1
Taranaki 1 Wellington United 1
Lower Hutt City 0 Napier City Rovers 2
Olympic 2 Western Suburbs 3
Take care until next week team!
.Park Life
Smithy2009-05-22 11:11:46
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Upper Hutt Bogans vs Wharfies
Upper Hutt is club with a proud tradition. Unfortunately it�s not for their footballing ability. It�s for getting stoned heaps and having to play geriatrics like Ali James in their first team. Given all this, they have actually had a decent start to the season. Later in the season they will get a few injuries and end up having to play Ali James in their first team -probably stoned.
On Saturday they take on a Wharf side fresh from a win over Fiji (B), and with the fresh wiff of Chartreuse on their breath after the ensuing team bender.
To the game - and Matt �Gordon� Bennett will be looking to pull the strings for the Hutt, as well as trying to contain Wharfies playmaker Robbie �Cougar� Hunter. Wharfies have striker Adam Crump in fine form, as well as Mark Fulcher in between the sticks. Andy Le Prou who has the skillz to pay the bills also looks likely to be a standout. Can the Hutt breakdown McKinlay at the heart of the Karori defence though? And will Karori�s cars be safe if they don�t have a car alarm?
We�re picking: Harcourt Park has always been a happy hunting ground for Karori, and it seems like this game will be no different. The crystal ball of he Upper Hutt gypo says Karori will win this dog-fight 2-0.
OMG, it is so good to get a mention, but unless the rules have changed and allow me to take my zimmer-frame onto the field I think I will stick to Cap 5...lol
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Parkie's correspondent must be living in the past. Cap 5 ay ? tell Mark Hurley he is rubbish for me.
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Parkie's correspondent must be living in the past. Cap 5 ay ? tell Mark Hurley he is rubbish for me.
I would but he played junior football at naenae when I was playing there...lol. I am playing against him tomorrow...
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Upper Hutt derby. BIG match.
Yeah the older heads versus the younger fitter guys. Should be a larf.
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Any predictions on the Cancellations for this weekend??
And if anyone from Cap Soccer is reading PLEASE update your website so we don't drag our kids out in the wet and cold to a game that was cancelled and NOT showing on your website under cancellations (I know I could listen to radio but thought the web would be more up to date....obviously not (Wimmins Game UH V Warfies last SUN).
Not good with the money clubs pay to Cap Football!!
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Ah, to be fair FootballForever it does clearly say on the website to listen to the cancellations.
Don't think anyone in Capital Football is earning enough money to work 7 days a week just to save you from the massive effort of tuning in to the cancellations (except the CEO perhaps...6 figures...)
Incredible stamina. No shame. Yellow Fever.
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Upper Hutt Bogans vs Wharfies
OMG, it is so good to get a mention, but unless the rules have changed and allow me to take my zimmer-frame onto the field I think I will stick to Cap 5...lol
jeepers - the Hutt must have depth this year. Give it a couple of weeks and we'll see that zimmer in action..
Founder
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yeah I spose but it was a last minute thought to go to the game, so I couldn't just tune in could I???
I'm meaning more for the spectators, if I was a player, or infact when I was a player I always listened to the radio!
Still poor me thinks :(
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Upper Hutt Bogans vs Wharfies
OMG, it is so good to get a mention, but unless the rules have changed and allow me to take my zimmer-frame onto the field I think I will stick to Cap 5...lol
jeepers - the Hutt must have depth this year. Give it a couple of weeks and we'll see that zimmer in action..
Haha it wouldn't be a pretty sight Greeny but I will wave to you from the balcony tomorrow...LOL
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I think you should play in goal gerry atrix. Those gloves are jumping to go back onto your hands. Haha
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Upper Hutt Bogans vs Wharfies
OMG, it is so good to get a mention, but unless the rules have changed and allow me to take my zimmer-frame onto the field I think I will stick to Cap 5...lol
jeepers - the Hutt must have depth this year. Give it a couple of weeks and we'll see that zimmer in action..
Haha it wouldn't be a pretty sight Greeny but I will wave to you from the balcony tomorrow...LOL
I cant play so will be on the balcony drinking the beer you bought me 
Founder
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I think you should play in goal gerry atrix. Those gloves are jumping to go back onto your hands. Haha
Yeah you broken arse, hurry up and get over your injury
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Upper Hutt Bogans vs Wharfies
OMG, it is so good to get a mention, but unless the rules have changed and allow me to take my zimmer-frame onto the field I think I will stick to Cap 5...lol
jeepers - the Hutt must have depth this year. Give it a couple of weeks and we'll see that zimmer in action..
Haha it wouldn't be a pretty sight Greeny but I will wave to you from the balcony tomorrow...LOL
I cant play so will be on the balcony drinking the beer you bought me
Oh ok, and I am buying the beer cos?? Haha are you injured or suspended? No worries I have a drink with ya
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I think you should play in goal gerry atrix. Those gloves are jumping to go back onto your hands. Haha
Yeah you broken arse, hurry up and get over your injury
Im getting there mate. Dont worry. Hope next week I can start running. Knee and ankle is a bit of a bitch
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The sort of stunt about which Parky can only dream:
Incredible stamina. No shame. Yellow Fever.
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to be fair, there are a lot of things Parky can only dream of.
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The sort of stunt about which Parky can only dream:
�
�
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*wipes away tear* It would be special
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to be fair, there are a lot of things Parky can only dream of.
Wealth/fame/good looks/happiness.
I miss anything?
Incredible stamina. No shame. Yellow Fever.
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A decent gag.
Incredible stamina. No shame. Yellow Fever.
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News that is just wrong.
Incredible stamina. No shame. Yellow Fever.
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Parkie just rang and said he/she's having a bad week.
Should be up today, but there isn't going to be a printed version this week due to both Parkie's illness and financial constraints.
Hard News2009-05-29 10:09:50
Should be up today, but there isn't going to be a printed version this week due to both Parkie's illness and financial constraints.
Hard News2009-05-29 10:09:50
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Update : May not be a Parkie this week.
Real Life has hit contributors AND Parkie pretty heavy.
Real Life has hit contributors AND Parkie pretty heavy.
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NEWSFLASH: Park Life teeters on financial precipice.
Incredible stamina. No shame. Yellow Fever.
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maybe parky will get some picks right this week. ie not pick the bubbles to loose
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