The Alternative Mindfulness Match Day Thread.

For those of a more delicate disposition here is a match day thread for you. I have found some exercises using the philosophy of mindfulness.

I ask you to respect each other and please if we are to banish negativity follow the group mindfulness activities below to keep us all safe.

These activities are recognized Mindfulness exercises taken from this gentle site that warms my soul:

http://www.dialexisadvies.nl/files/mindfulness%20e...

We have three exercises. At the given point in the game please take a deep breath and smile and carry out the exercise below.

Pre-match exercise just before kick off: 'The Teddy Bear" 

"Bring in a variety of stuffed animals. Choose one from the bag to hold. Either close your eyes or (if

that’s uncomfortable) fixate gaze in front of you. Feel the stuffed animal and try to describe what

you feel."

LG it's ok if you bring your Daniel bear even if it is slightly stained and smells funny.

Half time exercises: "Grapes"

"Breathe twice. Put a grape in your mouth. Keep it there as long as possible. Then bite into it. Focus

on being the grape."

I once read something about rolling grapes around your mouth and what that improves, it was from a book called "What women want in bed" but I won't go into that now. Nufc_nz won't know what I'm talking about and Leggy would have to take his teeth out.

Post match exercise: "Scent"

Get a bunch of cotton balls with different smells on each (perhaps using essential oils?). Take one and smell it. Write down the thoughts you have while smelling it.

Obviously "clunge" shouldn't spring to mind...

thank you all from the spirit of sister earth....

I have a feeling this is going to be a contender for either thread and/or post of the season.

So this place will be the sole domain of NUFC?

I failed the Fortean Times' test of "Mindful Oneness" above when I could not visualise myself as a grape. 

This is my best effort:

http://www.tantra-essence.com/2014/01/meditation-of-the-month-yoni-gazing/

Wrong on many levels ...scary on a lot too...

this is how the match thread should be like from now on:

Valeo: Hallo chaps! what a spiffing day for a game of football! *rearranges bowtie*

NU_FC: Oh deary me, that pass from young Vincent Lia went askew... never mind! *chews on hard toffee*

JV: Golly, that shot from that Brockie chap went west instead of north. Still, a jolly good effort methinks. *adjusts slippers*

James Dean: Methinks the Wellington Phoenix should attack down the flanks, what say you, gentlemen? *puffs pipe*

C_diddy: Oh lovely! the ball is in the net! Pity it is a goal for the other team *sips sherry*

Cosimo: what ho! I happen to spy a sea gull on the field. Such luck for the budding ornithologist! *masturbates into chamber pot*

Shouldn't that be "espy"? to be authentic?

I doft my cap in ones direction sir.

Her name isnt sherry...

sorry, Barry

You fookin poof!

That's funny.

best thread ever

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cast and crew of Peaky Blinders oop there