Official 2010 Fever Tour to SAfrica

This was written by a local for my UK-based travelling companions. Excellent advice.... copy into word and print for reading on the plane

Some useful facts and hints about my beautiful country...

General info

Currency                        -            Rand (and cents)

Denominations               -            Bills:  200, 100, 50, 20, 10  (showing the Big 5)

                                                   Coins:  R5, R2, R1, 50c, 20c, 10c, 5c

Big 5                              -            Leopard (200),Buffalo (100), Lion (50), Elephant (2),White Rino (10)

Exchange rate                -            �1 = R11 (should be R15, but let�s leave that there for now)

Purchase parity              -            Clothes:  �1  =  R12 � R14

                                                   Drinks (bottle store prices):  �1  =  R8

                                                   Drinks (bars):  �1  =  R5 (beer)

                                                   Drinks (bars):  �1  =  R6 / R7 (top shelf)

                                                   ...jip Albie...we�re making money!!!

Fuel                                -            R8.50 per litre

Taxi                               -            Informal means of transport � mini bus (not safe for tourists)

Taxi cab                         -            Metered taxis (use official cab companies � not dodgy ones)

Traffic light                    -            Robot

Ankle socks                   -            Secret socks

People:  They don�t call us the rainbow nation for nothing.  Take away the crime, and most South Africans are super friendly, warm and happy, party people, so you guys are in for an awesome time here.   The population of 50mil consists of 40mil Africans and 14mil Europeans, Coloured and Asians.  Although we have 11 official languages, most South Africans speak / and or understand two of these with English the language of trade and business.  (Mostly Sotho in the North and Xhosa in the south East)

Groceries and food

Woolworths                   -            M&S (I by my food here � but more expensive!)

Pick and Pay                  -            Tesco�s (Bigger ones more like ASDA)

Spar                               -            Sainsbury�s

Clicks / Dischem            -            Boots

Shopright                       -            Dodgy people and food � super cheap stuff

Game                             -            B&Q (sort of)

Fuel

Note, we have petrol attendants refuelling your car for you, so you can go to the loo while they refuel and wash your windscreen.  (Remember to tip them � they are awesome!)  You normally get massive fuel stations on the larger freeways� and they normally have a shop and restaurant next to it. 

Combinations:

Engin (Wimpy)

BP (Woolworths food)

Shell

SASOL (this is Saffer fuel made from Charcoal...charcoal?  Jip, google it...another SA invention)

TV

SABC                            -            4 Channels (in order from crap to crapper): 

SABC 1,  SABC 2, E-TV and SABC 3 (news in all 11 official languages

DSTV                             -            �Satellite TV�: actually pretty good (Super-sport will show the soccer)

Cheaper eats:

SPUR                              -            Budget steakhouse (I�ll have a burger)

KFC                               -            KFC (Joke � especially for Titus)

Steers                             -            Really good flame grilled burgers (I suppose GBK would be a good

                                                   comparison, but this is more of a take away option

Something Fishy            -            Really good take away fish place (Try the Kingklip � my favourite)

Jon Dories                      -            Seafood restaurant (I know they do R100 bottom less sushi and wine)

Ocean basket                 -            Affordable seafood restaurant chain � I like going here.

Panaroties                      -            Pizza and pasta (Normally does all you can eat Thursday�s � like it!)

Debonairs                      -            Take away pizza and delivery.

Wimpy                           -            Breakfast chain (not a massive fan, but at most Engin fuel stations)

Mug and Bean                -            Starbucks (good breakfasts and sell flat whites)

KAUAI / SUMO            -            No UK equivalent, but super yummy smoothies and healthy food

Dinner

Steak, Steak and more steak, but luckily South Africans are very open to other cultures, so a lot of good options out there. (Italian, Portuguese, Greek, Chinese etc.)  Word of advice though...since you guys will be more than 3 hours away from the closest beach/ sea, �The catch of the day� could be you. But, don�t stress about that, most people believe you get the best seafood up North since everything is imported from Mozambique.  Those people have obviously not been to Cape Town yet.  (Most seafood are delivered fresh daily - Yummy)  

A great steak will set you back R120 pp while a good bottle of wine shouldn�t be more than R100.  (You can buy great wine in shops for R60 per bottle.  South Africa do great Chenin blancs, Shiraz, Cab Savs, Pinotage (uniquely South African) and good Sauvignon blancs)

It is illegal to smoke in public in SA, so you might be fined if you light up in a public place, so restaurants might have smoking and non smoking sections.  Remember to leave a minimum 10% tip...even if the service was average.

Shopping

Not really my area, but the best / safest way is to go to a Mall.  South Africans are crazy on Malls, and normally make a day trip of it.  (High street shopping is mostly limited to the smaller towns)

Except for the well known international brands and shops, these are typical South African:

Urban                             -            Ted Baker equivalent but different (My favourite SA store)

Hilton Weiner                -            Urban�s upmarket store similar to Reece (affordable designer stuff)

Markhams                      -            Some cool stuff for boys

Truworths                      -            Some good stuff for girls and some ok stuff for boys

MrPrice             -            Primark

Pep stores                       -            Cheaper than Primark (black market)

Statafords                       -            Debenheims / Frazer

You will probably find the best shopping in Sandton City in Johannesburg.  Sandton is the second, more posh, business centre of Johannesburg (Jozie).  This is where the rich and famous hang out, so not cheap...you might see some of the WAGS hanging there.   If you go there, try the Butcher Shop on Nelson Mandela square � best steak house I�ve ever been to...and yes, there is a great seafood place next to it.

Drinks

Traditional Saffer drinks:

Brandewyn en Coke      -            Brandy and Coke -> always comes as a double and not with Coke

                                                   light because that is GAY � price:  should be less than R50

Groen Mamba                -            You would only get this in Polekwane (formally called Pietersburg)

                                                   Groen = Green,  Mamba = one of the most venomous snakes in the

                                                   world.  (While on this...there is a lot of super venomous snakes in SA,

                                                   including a few spitting Cobras and pythons, but luckily for you, most

                                                   of these guys should be sleeping this time of year, so don�t go lifting

                                                   rocks etc. while out in the bush.)  Back to the Groen Mamba drink...

                                                   this is made from a white spirits called Cane  (Although similar to

                                                   white rum, they are only allowed to sell this within SA due to its high

                                                   alcohol content), mixed with Cream soda (Green soft drink).  This one

                                                   comes with a warning, cause it tastes like a soft drink, but packs a

                                                   massive punch. 

Ironically, this cream soda is also the best cure for a hangover, but has

to be consumed cold and before having breakfast.  This is not clinically   tested, but I am a firm believer.

Savanna                         -            Apple cider, but not sweet like the ones in the UK.  Also comes in a

                                                   �lite� version, so definitely one for the figure conscious.  This is really

                                                   a great refreshing drink, and should be served with a slice of lemon

                                                   (not lime).  Warning:  This contains 6% alcohol. Price � R20

Brutal fruit                     -            Another one for the ladies (fruit flavoured fizzy drinks � I like the

                                                   kiwi and mango flavours)  Hangover hint:  If you find yourself in an

                                                   advance stage of babbalas (hangover) and you are incapable of

                                                   drinking with the rest, do the following:  Walk to the bar and order a

                                                   mango brutal fruit.  Drink two large sips and ask the barman to top the

                                                   bottle up with Cane (Cape to Rio � mentioned above) � this will fix

                                                   hangover in 30 mins., and you will be able to continue partying like an

                                                   animal.  Note that few are familiar with this miraculous cure, so

                                                   expect a few frowns and weird stares.  (Again, not clinically tested, so                                            stick to one only)

Beer                               -            Now this is an area I know something about...South Africans love

                                                   their beer, and with South African Breweries (SAB) being the 3rd

                                                   largest beer producer in the world (after Heineken and Budweiser),

there are no shortage of this fluid in SA. Here are a few...

Castle                             -            Average

Black label                     -            Good beer, but I am not a fan...largest selling beer in SA (dirt cheap)

                                                   Similar to Stella, but much better.

Windhoek lager              -            Ironically my favourite beer is not from South Africa, but from our

                                                   German nabour Namibia.  Rated by myself as the best lager in the

                                                   world.  Jip, that good!

Windhoek light              -            This is another amazing beer...tastes like its green brother above, but                                                 Contains half the calories and alcohol and is endorsed by the South

                                                   African Hearth Foundation.   What???  Jip, this is a healthy option for

                                                   beer drinkers.  Perfect for drinking and driving, since you can have

                                                   two (officially) of these babies (or 3 unofficially) over lunch and still

                                                   legally drive...amazing!!!

Castle light                     -            Don�t drink this

Hansa                             -            Also ok � similar to Amstel

Shots

The most popular one would probably be a Springbokkie (Direct translation is small Springbok).  This consist of peppermint liqueur topped with Amarula (similar to Bayley�s, just much nicer).  Another good one is a blow job, and consists of After Shock, Cape Velvet (like Bayley�s) topped with cream.  If somebody wants to buy you a woman�s revenge, politely decline.

Strawrum:  avoid this since it contains 60% alcohol.

Traditional food

Black:  Mostly putto pap (thick porridge) and stew or stamp mielies (cooked corn -> weird taste but good).  The stew is normally made in a large pot over an open fire, and you take the pap and make little scoops with it to scoop up the stew out of the pot.  Lekker!  This is good stuff, but you will probably not see this where you are going.  Come back to CT, and I will show you what I am talking about.

White:   -     Braaivlies  (Barbeque with baked potatoes/ mash / braai broodjies (toasties) and salad

-       Biltong  (dried meat)

-       Dro� wors  (dried sausage)

-       Pannekoek  (pancake � normally just with cinnamon)

-       Koek susters (Dough deep fried in syrup)

-       Vetkoek  (Deep fried bread with syrup and cheese, or mince)

-       Stok brood  (Dough rapped round a stick and toasted over a fire, then filled with jam and cheese)

Indian   -     Bryjanie  (spicy chicken / beef / lamb stew with yellow rice)

/ Mix     -     I want to be bannedtie  (My favourite! �Curry like� mince bake with raisons, served with chutney and

                    banana)

You will also find some good game meat in the north...try Kudu steak, or ostrich fillet.  (Ostrich meat are super healthy...it has the qualities of white meat, but tastes like red meat.  You definitely should try this.  Go for the fillet, and have it medium rare with a blue cheese or camembert sauce.

My favourite starter:  Springbok Carpaccio

Mobile (what to do when you get here)

South Africa has two main cell phone providers, Vodacom and MTN.  Vodacom is the largest, and is partly owned by Vodafone, so you should get better international calling rates.  MTN is slightly cheaper.  Vodacom is definitely the better option, but both provide super service.  The areas you will be travelling in have great 3G coverage, so bring your I-phones!

I did a bit of research, and MTN provides a slightly better deal, but I will always go with Vodacom because their service is better.   The process:

Unblock your I-phones:  Your I-phones and phones will most likely be blocked for South African simcards, so better contact your UK service providers to unblock them before you leave.  If not, Vodacare (Vodacom�s service arm will be able to unblock them, but that would be �hoha�)

MTN:

Go to the MTN shop (ugly yellow one) at the Airport or Rustenberg Mall.  Buy a simcard for 50c, and load R100 worth of airtime on it.  Convert this into a R50, R75 or R100 etc data bundle for browsing the internet.  (bundles are much cheaper than just using your pay as you go for browsing the net)  The lady at the shop I went to believes R100 should be enough for 2 weeks, but I doubt it...it is pretty expensive to text and phone overseas - if you plan on doing this.  You can top up your airtime at ATM�s or buy airtime at most shops.  If you are not interested in using the internet, R70 airtime would be more than enough.  Remember to take your passport with you when you go to the shop.

Vodacom�s is similar, but the simcard is R3....ooh, 25p difference....what to do?

Health and safety

Note, this is my opinion, and it could be a bit bias as I am from the South, which is a total different country to where you are going.

Yes, South Africa is super dangerous, and it has a massive crime rate, but just remember we have 50m people living here and its Africa and this is unfortunately how we role.  Rest assured, that for the 26 years I lived in South Africa, I�ve never been a victim of crime, and don�t have any family members that have been seriously affected by it either.  I�ve only met one person in my whole life who had a murdered in their family, and don�t know of anybody that has been raped.   Car jackings, muggins, house breakings etc. , yes...heaps, but I still feel safer in SA than I did in Brazil.

Here is my crash course on surviving in South Africa:

�       Don�t use public transport � the Gautrain should be ok though.  Travelling from Sandton to OR Thambo Airport in 15mins.

�       Drive on the lefthand side of the road

�       Speed limits:  60km/h inner city, 90, 100, 120 km/h on the freeways, but most people drive 140km/h

�       Keep to the speed limit as speed enforcement is done via radar and cameras

�       FYI � it is custom for you to move into the left hand yellow lane for cars travelling faster than yourself so that they can overtake.  They will then normally show their appreciation by switching on their hazards for a few flicks. 

�       Lock your doors at all times, and wear your safety belts.  (and you can be fined if you�re not)

�       Never drive with your windows down, and never have any valuables lying on the seat next to you when you stop at traffic lights or stop signs.

�       When parked, don�t leave anything inside the car, put everything in the boot.  (Nothing � not even a jumper on the back seat)

�       There will be a lot of people trying to sell you things at the traffic lights and stop streets...don�t look at them, cause they will think you are interested in buying.  You might find cool stuff to buy, but only wind down your window far enough to pay.

�       Always try to stay in a group of at least two or three people  -> girls stick with the guys

�       When taking out cash from an ATM...take someone with you, and watch out for people lurking around.  (Try not to get cash out at night)

�       Don�t chat or brows the net on your mobile while walking in the streets...you will be mugged.  Don�t be an easy target!

�       Make a copy of your passport and visa�s and keep separate from your passport.  (Best  to keep each other�s  copies.)

�       You won�t need your passports when you go out, so don�t take it with you

�       Don�t keep all your bank cards in your wallet � leave extra ones with your luggage at home for a back up

�       R500 would be enough for a good night out, and R1000 for clubs, but cards are generally accepted.  Don�t carry too much cash with you.

�       Find  the contact numbers of reliable cab companies before you go out and only use them

�       Only use the official porters at the OR Thambo airport � they wear orange caps.  There will be lots of guys swarming you offering their services...best to hold on to your own stuff, and never leave it unattended.

On a serious note; remember you are a guest in South Africa, so under no circumstances make conversation about apartheid and do not try to impose your views on the subject onto others.  The general attitude in SA is to remember the past, but to look ahead and move forward as a country together.  (You will get beaten up if you do this -> no joke)

That�s it...a warm welcome to my amazing country at the foot of mighty Africa.  Hope you guys have an awesome time here (I am pretty sure you will), and hope the all whites get that goal.  I will try my best to meet up with you guys in Nelspruit before I fly back.  Have fun, and be safe!

Arohanui, en tot siens