Things that make you go hmmmm

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

But I couldn`t find any

In Newtown there is an office called The Phobic Trust. I wanted to know what it did, but I was afraid to ask.

Try http://www.molecule-clothing.com

Pricey but worth it.  I've bought trousers & 3/4 pants.  Good quality & good service.  You can land them about $NZ40 less than retail here.  I've only seen them in Comrades, the army surplus store in Cuba St.  They come from Thailand.  Be careful of the exchange rates.

Things that you go hmmm... the site of that gag sailing over Wongp's head.

Two blondes walk into a building

You`d think at least one of them would have seen it

I`m on a whiskey diet

I`ve already lost three days

I have just bought a 250g jar of British marmite from The Co-op. I think I might have paid 65p more than Sainsbury's. I will have to buy another one tomorrow, I guess.  Then I will have two jars of marmite.

Nah, Pic's Really Good Peanut Butter - No Salt (from Nelson) & strawberry jam sandwich ftw!!  Pic's is about twice the price of ETA but it's worth it.

Nah, Pic's Really Good Peanut Butter - No Salt (from Nelson) & strawberry jam sandwich ftw!!  Pic's is about twice the price of ETA but it's worth it.

I bought some HP sauce the other day

It`s costing me 6 cents a month for the next 2 years

Nah, Pic's Really Good Peanut Butter - No Salt (from Nelson) & strawberry jam sandwich ftw!!  Pic's is about twice the price of ETA but it's worth it.

 I get it.

A man walked into the doctors

The doctor said " I haven`t seen you for a while"

The man replied " No I`ve been ill"

'Did you hear the one about the letter posted without a stamp.....oh no, you wouldn't get it.'

Since when do taxi drivers tell jokes?

Isn't there a separate thread for lame jokes?

We used to go up to peeps who wore camo trousers and say things like "I'm so sorry but how did you lose your legs?" They'd say "what do you mean?" and you'd say "it's tragic that this has happened to you, how do you live with no legs?" eventually, (the goal was to keep it going), we'd go "Ahhhh you're wearing Camouflage trousers! And I thought you had no legs!" and then walk off. It was easy to do when young and the world was full of crusties and New Model ARmy followers.

Turned the tv on and the spelling bee was on. The kid asked if he could buy a vowel.

or that army surplus store in jackson street petone ?

New Model Army? Those were the days....

http://youtu.be/4_r_68x1AQc

The other day I went to the Corner Shop

I bought 4 corners

http://www.stuff.co.nz/technology/gadgets/7054112/Plan-to-build-Star-Trek-replica-takes-flight

'Hamilton Astronomical Society president Dave Owen loved the idea, but thought it impractical, because the Enterprise was designed to travel vast interstellar distances, rather than within the solar system.

"It's possible to build a large ship like this with modern technology, but the idea of making it look like the Enterprise is unnecessary," he said.

"You will spend huge amounts of money trying to get it a certain shape and there's no way it's going to have warp drive."

A better idea would be to build a space station resembling one of Star Trek's starbases, like Deep Space Nine.

"That's much more realistic than the Enterprise," he said.'

Killjoy!

G     r    oo    a nn

ain't that the truth...

Hekia Parata is the public face of the class sizes fiasco but who was the idea's champion within Cabinet?
Hmm....

I went into a Butchers and said  "I`ll have a pound of sauages please"

The Butcher said  " We only serve Kilos in here"

"Okay then I`ll have a pound of Kilos"

.........no more, no more, please......... 

Two aerials meet on a roof  -  Fall in love  -  Get married

The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

"A-ha-ha. Just like that!" - classic.

One wall said to another "I'll meet you at the corner".

Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese

There are 5 people in my family so it must be one of them

It`s either Mum or Dad, my older brother Colin or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu

But I think it`s Colin

Be all of them in mine & your family, Junior?

Unfortunately we all miss out as there's only 4 in our family, and no one is called Colin either.

We don't have a Colin either, so it's not us then.  Although, I've always wanted to called our next cat Colin.  Maybe he's Chinese.

Arf! http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/jun/09/sex-depravity-penguins-scott-antarctic

Puts a whole new spin on Happy Feet!

A woman gets on a bus with her Baby

The bus driver says " Ugh thats the ugliest baby I`ve ever seen"

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down fuming.

She says to the man next to her " The drivers just insulted me !"

The man says "Well you go back up there and tell him off"

"Go on then!  and I`ll hold your monkey for you"

I came from a very poor family

We all used sleep in the same bed

In fact !  I never slept alone until I got married

I'm sure there is more to it than what is reported in the media, but Sky City is really coming across as rather silly re the bible woman.

Yeah, yeah.  We all know that Terry is a massive twunt and over the hill and he should have been left out of the squad, and we all know that Roy's excuse about "football reasons" never really stacked up, but why does there need to be a summit about him?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2012/jun/15/rio-20-earth-summit-ban-ki-moon?INTCMP=ILCNETTXT3487

Yes, you were overlooked for all the wrong reasons and you are still a good footballer at 34 or whatever, but please get over it.

A woman phoned her husband and said "The carburettor is full of water !"

The Husband said "Where`s the car?"

"In the river" she replied