Secret Diary of
Anthony Hudson, Vol 2
Monday:
Well, after three vibrant
years at the helm of the All Whites I can truly reflect upon having turned a
team around – if you ignore a lot of the rubbish we played at the Confederations
Cup – and built depth, confidence, and a sort of weird feudal uncertainty in
the national squad.
But most of all I have
transformed the careers of a new generation.
I’ve improved the team
trainings, the environment, and equipped a number of young players to walk in
the fullness of their own purpose. Almost single-handedly I’ve created a
culture of encouragement and empowerment where players can thrive and grow,
while I can reflect on these most intangible of successes with my Fleet St
contacts.
In short, I’ve been
transformational, and inspiring in incredibly difficult circumstances, overcoming
player eligibility issues, dearth of matches and frustratingly less talented
assistants.
But now, approaching the
final hurdle of the Peru playoffs I must catalyse my All Whites squad for the
fiercest inquisition and also look destiny in the eye in terms of my own future
professional career.
Funnily enough, that's reminded me of how I’ve always wanted to live in Denver.
Did you know it’s the
United States’’ most landlocked city, 865 miles from the Pacific, 870 miles
from the Gulf of Mexico. And I’ve always liked it dry.
Tuesday:
Well, what a nice
surprise to find Colorado Rapids are tapping me up, big-time, though I’ve got
mixed feelings about it.
On
the one hand I was tickled to read that I
established myself as the job favourite when I won over the technical staff in
Colorado with my philosophies. It’s exactly the same whiteboard schtick I did
for New Zeeland Football three years ago. Hey, hey, it shows I’ve still got it.
One the other hand, it’s not exactly Chelsea, is it? Indeed, it’s
a shame I’m not been talked up more in the UK. But that’s more down to the
team’s shark showing in Russia than anything I’ve done wrong, though I must do a
few more Fleet St interviews ahead of the playoffs, drop a few names here and
there, Peter Taylor etc.
But the very first
thing I did today was change my Wikipedia page back to make it very clear I was
born in Seattle. Just in case. It seems like a lifetime ago that we were having
internecine debates on-line about my place of birth when it was always beyond
question. Can’t believe people were putting it about that I was born in London.
Yes, some people still
go on about my Wikipedia page and the 10-changes-a-day thing. But they don’t
realise that in football your wiki is in fact your public CV. And who doesn’t
polish their CV when find they are in the market for a new job?
Wednesday:
The Peru match
programme was due to go to bed today. It will be a collector’s item. I spoke to
Andy, suggesting the cover splash should be “Anthony Hudson Souvenir Edition”
with a shot of me doing a whiteboard session. Maybe with sidebar profiles on
Dane Ingham and Moses Dyer on why they’re forever grateful for their All Whites
call-ups. And perhaps a deeper Rory Fallon feature entitled: “There’s only two
masters I worship”.
Meanwhile I have to
make a decision on the captaincy. Winston or Woodsy? Winston is the incumbent’s
incumbent. But we’ve seen so little of him during my reign. And he’s a bit fick
isn’t he?. Can you imagine him doing a press conference without me should we
get a spanking, and it’s not just for tame Kiwi media?
On the other hand, until
last week Woodsy hadn’t put a hamstring wrong as skipper.
Sure, he’s not the
brightest either – what do you expect when you leave school at 16 - but at
least he’s got this “Teacher’s Pet” relationship with me, as Michael Boxall
called it last year, which is quite endearing.
However maybe I best
stick with Winston. The last thing we would want is for acrimony in the camp
and for a black man to “take a knee” before kick-off.
Thursday:
Memo to self. Have to
stop calling Chris “Woodsy”. It only confuses Kiwi television commentators who
still think his surname is actually Woods. Besides, I see Sean Dyche calls him
Woody, with no S. Sean and myself are both premier league-grade managers, so should
be heard to speak with one voice.
Meanwhile I see the
media have been getting prickly because I haven’t named the All Whites squad
yet. Ha. If they get under my skin, I’ll get under there’s. That will teach
them to be more professional like me.
Friday:
This Colorado Rapids
gig is starting to prove tricky, with increasing media scrutiny.
Andy Martin suggested
this great line, that “we don’t comment on speculation”. Said he’d read it was
an old chestnut Chris Turner used to fall back on when he was Football Kingz
boss,.
I said, “But that’s
complete bollocks, Andy, I comment on speculation all the time, whether it’s
Chris Wood’s hamstring or Winston Reid’s groin.”
Still, Andy has been
very understanding about the Colorado job offer. Indeed, so much so I’ve
christened him “UnderstAndy around the office.
Andy knows the drill,
because he will of course be playing the same game himself very soon. It won’t
be long before you see the stories linking him with the New Zealand Rugby
Union.
I like Andy. Sure, he’s
not a football man, and says some dopey things. But at least he doesn’t
question, doesn’t stick his beak in. You tell him what the party line is and he
sticks with it. He knows how to take instruction from a coach, and I respect that
in a chief executive.
Andy’s even
counter-offered me an age-group gig for New Zealand Football. But I’m a highly
respected senior international coach with an image to protect. And there’s
always a touch of pathos in seeing Neil Emblen mucking in at Western Springs or
Ricki Herbert slumming it at Hamilton Wanderers.
Saturday:
The big games draw
closer, raising more big questions.
How will history
remember me? How will I frame my All White legacy on Wikipedia? Should I
dispense with the Moses Dyer gag, or milk it one more time just to annoy the
likes of Dale Warburton and Patrick Barnes.
Which reminds me, that
bloody Barnes. I dobbed him in to Andy after I saw him at the Solomon’s match
at Albany. But apparently I’d confused him with Wombat, the Auckland City fan
who looks like “The Dude” from The Big Lebowski. Frustrating how nearly
everyone in New Zealand seems to have scruffy facial hair and glasses.
Sunday:
Got to thinking again today,
how I’ve always had a soft spot for Colorado.
And John Denver’s Rocky Mountain High
- that could have been a song written just for me…
He was born in the summer of his 27th year
Coming home to a place he'd never been before
He left yesterday behind him, you might say he was born
again
You might say he found a key for every door
When he first came to the mountains his life was far away
On the road and hanging by a song
But the string's already broken and he doesn't really
care
It keeps changing fast and it don't last for long
But the Colorado rocky mountain high
I've seen it rainin' fire in the sky
The shadow from the starlight is softer than a lullabye…
Rocky mountain high (Colorado)
He climbed cathedral mountains, he saw silver clouds
below
He saw everything as far as you can see
And they say that he got crazy once and he tried to touch
the sun
And he lost a friend but kept his memory
Now…
I’ll work it into a
whiteboard session.
Meanwhile I spent four
hours today studying Americanese football terminology.
I could easily drop
the affected cockney accent and go full JP Delecamera if I wanted.
I practised in front
of the mirror: “Sure, Colorado might not be the most winningest team in the Western
Conference, but the other week I saw them goal a score straight into the upper
90 from inside the six following an apex restart, while it was a shut-out at
the other end.”
Yes, I think I could
get my cleats into that.
COYN 
