Football United - July 2014 West Ham and Newcastle visit

2191 replies · 230,680 views

over 11 years ago

Jag wrote:

Just in case any tourists from the UK or the West Island are in any doubt that NZ is stuck in the 70's, we're gonna roll out the Topp Twins just to ram the point home.

What's the problem? Not a huge fan of their work, but New Zealand football has a big gay woman contingent, like whatsername who just got the country's first gay divorce.

Their sexuality isn't the issue. their lack of talent is. There is also the fact that:

1. They have no relevance to football and I strongly suspect that they know bugger all about the game 2. They're shit 3. Any visiting fans will be gobsmacked at what we are presenting as pre-match "entertainment". Huge embarrasment factor. 4. They're shit.

It's all a cunning plan by SKy to push up the PPV numbers.

Yeah don't know where the sexuality thing came from, haven't read or heard anything anti gay, not even on Facebook. Its just a really odd move. The Topp Twins just arent relevant. Im only 28 and these two were before my time, i was just a kid when they were at their peak. Im just really struggling to figure this out.... I just dont understand it, and it appears im not alone.

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over 11 years ago

patrick478 wrote:

"The twins, Linda and Jools will be in their “Ken & Ken” characters as well as “Camp Mother and Camp Leader” as they conduct spot interviews, sing to the crowd and provide an alternative ‘commentary’ to the ‘beautiful game”."

Awesome, better entertainment than watching Newcastle and West Ham having a preseason kick around. I'll get the PPV on Sky now so I can record them and watch it again when I get home.

A dog with a bone :)

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over 11 years ago

I thought that they were actually twins. I still find them unfunny and cringeworthy and the worst possible people to have MCing a football game.

Yellow Fever - Misery loves company

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over 11 years ago

I really don't get it, no one under 40 is gonna have a clue who they are

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over 11 years ago

Doloras wrote:

SurgeQld wrote:

Just in case any tourists from the UK or the West Island are in any doubt that NZ is stuck in the 70's, we're gonna roll out the Topp Twins just to ram the point home.

What's the problem? Not a huge fan of their work, but New Zealand football has a big gay woman contingent, like whatsername who just got the country's first gay divorce.

If you are serious.... its not about sexual preference its about the actual entertainment genre.

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over 11 years ago

rjmiller wrote:

Jeff Vader wrote:

I can't believe that someone somewhere went 'Thats a great idea!' and then others got onboard with it.

It's a cunning plan. Have them "perform" between games and they will sell a lot more food and beverages as everyone makes their way to the concourse.

Fuck, that will make me buy a craft beer and a gourmet couscous and brie wrap.

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over 11 years ago

patrick478 wrote:

I thought that they were actually twins. I still find them unfunny and cringeworthy and the worst possible people to have MCing a football game.

They are twins.

A dog with a bone :)

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over 11 years ago

ConanTroutman wrote:

Doloras wrote:

SurgeQld wrote:

Just in case any tourists from the UK or the West Island are in any doubt that NZ is stuck in the 70's, we're gonna roll out the Topp Twins just to ram the point home.

What's the problem? Not a huge fan of their work, but New Zealand football has a big gay woman contingent, like whatsername who just got the country's first gay divorce.

It's got nothing to do with them being gay and everything to do with their painfully dated humour. I don't think that gay woman footballers will think the Topp Twins are funny just because they're gay. It's not like every straight man thinks Rob Schneider is funny because he's straight. From my personal experience, the type of people who are Topp Twins fans actually generally seem to be quite socially conservative and more likely to be stereotypically old school NZers - meat and veg, rugby and netball type of thing

Is Rob Schneider straight!!!!!!

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over 11 years ago

i actually think they are talented and i recall them as buskers in Queen Street during the 70s and they drew huge crowds. No matter who you choose for entertainment there will be people that both like and dislike the particular act. BUT, you can at least choose entertainment that is relevant to those that will be at the event or even in an attempt to draw more people that wouldn't have gone otherwise. I can't see The Topp Twins fullfilling either criteria just quietly.

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over 11 years ago

I can see every person that is either watching this overseas or visiting

"I saw these two birds hosting the football and thought 'this country is not full of hicks and yokels, what the hell is going on?!?! They are people of enterprise'. Then I tried to make a mobile call and surf Facebook......."

Grumpy old bastard alert

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over 11 years ago

Napier Phoenix wrote:

Thats really the point. They are at my generations level. Granted I am a Phoenix supporter but I don't find them funny cause I don't find any humour in trying to pretend to be a hillbilly. Sure its fun to poke the piss and laugh at ourselves and we do a good job of that, but where is the tie in to football and the demographic that is attracted to that, and the international audience that simply will not get the humour of two old ugly similar looking birds dressed as guys.....

Grumpy old bastard alert

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over 11 years ago

I think they used to look hot....... probably says too much about me......

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over 11 years ago

nightz wrote:

patrick478 wrote:

I thought that they were actually twins. I still find them unfunny and cringeworthy and the worst possible people to have MCing a football game.

They are twins.

Oh, so they are twins and not in lesbians with each other. This is confusing. I still don't find them funny though.

Yellow Fever - Misery loves company

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over 11 years ago

patrick478 wrote:

nightz wrote:

patrick478 wrote:

I thought that they were actually twins. I still find them unfunny and cringeworthy and the worst possible people to have MCing a football game.

They are twins.

Oh, so they are twins and not in lesbians with each other. This is confusing. I still don't find them funny though.

There are a couple of other blackbirds in that pie

http://www.teara.govt.nz/en/photograph/30883/topp-twins-and-their-partners-2009

Grumpy old bastard alert

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over 11 years ago

Jeff Vader wrote:

Napier Phoenix wrote:

This. I'm an old codger and the Topp Twins were good back in the day ... BUT .... only as politically-inspired buskers IN THE 80s.

That was 30 years ago, and I've never really found them funny in their re-invention as comedians. Embarrassing. Just a really poor choice IMO.

But we're there for the football, so whatever.

I know, I know, its serious!

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over 11 years ago

ConanTroutman wrote:

From my personal experience, the type of people who are Topp Twins fans actually generally seem to be quite socially conservative and more likely to be stereotypically old school NZers - meat and veg, rugby and netball type of thing

Well, that's contrary to my personal experience, but if you're right, maybe that's the kind of thing that will make "socc-ah" seem less weird and alien to Joe Lionred out there?

Ramming liberal dribble down your throat since 2009
This forum needs less angst and more Kate Bush threads

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over 11 years ago

patrick478 wrote:

"The twins, Linda and Jools will be in their “Ken & Ken” characters as well as “Camp Mother and Camp Leader” as they conduct spot interviews, sing to the crowd and provide an alternative ‘commentary’ to the ‘beautiful game”."

tell me this doesn't mean they're going to be on the loudspeaker during the game

please

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over 11 years ago · edited over 11 years ago · History

patrick478 wrote:

Oh, so they are twins and not in lesbians with each other.

... WTF? You mean like Ellen is in lesbians with that Sex & The City lady?

But yeah, sometimes The Gay runs in families.

Ramming liberal dribble down your throat since 2009
This forum needs less angst and more Kate Bush threads

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over 11 years ago

Maybe someone has said

"How do we get those fucking old blazer brigade munter Lion Red drinking rugby head types to watch this? I know - The Topp Twins!!"

Grumpy old bastard alert

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over 11 years ago

paulm wrote:

patrick478 wrote:

tell me this doesn't mean they're going to be on the loudspeaker during the game

please

This would probably cause me to leave and go watch it in a bar somewhere.

Allegedly

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over 11 years ago

Jeff Vader wrote:

Maybe someone has said

"How do we get those fucking old blazer brigade munter Lion Red drinking rugby head types to watch this? I know - The Topp Twins!!"

Actually, typical homophobic and 'soccer is gay' comments coming from a rugby boofhead on the nix Facebook page in the comments announcing this. Feel free to track him down on bookface and let him know how much of an idiot he is. Or share it around.

Allegedly

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over 11 years ago

It's particularly creepy given that Jools and Linda Topp are sisters, and their surname isn't Lannister.

Ramming liberal dribble down your throat since 2009
This forum needs less angst and more Kate Bush threads

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over 11 years ago

they could at least get hot leso twins ffs and not ones that look like Ian Smith

Founder

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over 11 years ago

I drink lion red ...

Mind you , if your buying , Im drinking ....

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over 11 years ago

Tegal wrote:

Jeff Vader wrote:

Maybe someone has said

"How do we get those fucking old blazer brigade munter Lion Red drinking rugby head types to watch this? I know - The Topp Twins!!"

Tegal your picture is too big.

Yellow Fever - Misery loves company

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over 11 years ago

Patrick, your quote is too big

Allegedly

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over 11 years ago · edited over 11 years ago · History

Tegal wrote:

paulm wrote:

patrick478 wrote:

tell me this doesn't mean they're going to be on the loudspeaker during the game

please

This would probably cause me to leave and go watch it in a bar somewhere.

It would probably make LG explode like a 50 megaton bomb if they did - he gets pretty angsty about folk abusing the loud speaker.

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over 11 years ago

I am relying on a 30,000 plus crowd drowning out these old biddies should they attempt to interrupt proceeds from 20mins before the start to 20 mins after the finish !

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over 11 years ago

what's the sauce here ? surely this is some kind of wind-up?

Founder

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over 11 years ago

Feverish wrote:

they could at least get hot leso twins ffs and not ones that look like Ian Smith

Still trying to stop laughing at that one!

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over 11 years ago

Feverish wrote:

what's the sauce here ? surely this is some kind of wind-up?

http://www.footballaustralia.com.au/wellingtonphoenix/news-display/topp-twins-hosting-football%E2%80%99s-big-day-out-in-wellington/91234

Endorsed by Yellow Fever spokesperson Guy Smith.

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over 11 years ago · edited over 11 years ago · History

Someone's telling porkies

"Both West Ham United and Newcastle United supporters bays sold out weeks ago."

http://www.footballaustralia.com.au/wellingtonphoenix/news-display/Topp-Twins-Hosting-Footballs-Big-Day-Out-in-Wellington/91234

From Ticketek 10 mins ago (apologies for first post, image was too big, tried to include date and time from Toolbar)

Tickets? Tickets? We talkin’ about tickets?

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over 11 years ago

There is some consolation, in that I can put up the other entertainment... "The teams will be officially welcomed with a powhiri and haka provided by year -one to year13 school students from Te Kura Kaupapa Maori O Nga Mokupuna, based in Seatoun. Other acts include local hip hop group, The Company which will be leaving for the world championships in Las Vegas straight after the Westpac event, Scots College Pipe Band and the 24-strong Cook Island Youth Group."

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over 11 years ago · edited over 11 years ago · History

Ramming liberal dribble down your throat since 2009
This forum needs less angst and more Kate Bush threads

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over 11 years ago

Feverish wrote:

they could at least get hot leso twins ffs and not ones that look like Ian Smith

Ladies and gentlemen, the little-known Topp Brother.

Ramming liberal dribble down your throat since 2009
This forum needs less angst and more Kate Bush threads

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over 11 years ago

Topp Triplets?

I know, I know, its serious!

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over 11 years ago

Turfmoore wrote:

Topp Triplets?

Topp Twiplets.

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over 11 years ago

Twop Twiplets

Yellow Fever - Misery loves company

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over 11 years ago

In this day and age, if your event is a sell out you can put on however you like and/or can egt can't you? But if you are looking to use an act that will draw in more or new fans you have to be a little bit strategic don't you? For the lif eof me I can't see anyone saying "fuck Myrtle, The Topp Twins are at the football on Saturday, pack up the kids and neighbours - we're going"

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over 11 years ago

ForteanTimes wrote:

Tegal wrote:

paulm wrote:

patrick478 wrote:

tell me this doesn't mean they're going to be on the loudspeaker during the game

please

This would probably cause me to leave and go watch it in a bar somewhere.

It would probably make LG explode like a 50 megaton bomb if they did - he gets pretty angsty about folk abusing the loud speaker.

i hope they spend plenty of time down by his aisle :)

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